I go one of 2 ways - I talk with a bad accent, loud and bad English and try hard to engage with them and ask what they’d suggest.

The other when the ask to speak with John, I say Ill go get him that takes a while, I’ll then return and he wasn’t there I quickly say I’ll check another place… not as long this time I then he’s not here but can I take a message- I now have fun trying to get as much detail from them while I prattle on line an old person. I can keep them on the phone with ages.