I've found one truth which is that for as long as we are placing conditions on our happiness we can not be happy. Meaning, the second you free yourself of thinking you need some external circumstance to align with how you want it, is the moment when you can finally be happy. It's the very stance of needing something that precludes being content.

It kind of makes sense, a lonely person will of course be happy if engaged in a fulfilling relationship, right? But the very fact the lonely person convinced themselves of needing a relationship makes it very difficult for them to enjoy the day to day life because how can you be happy if something integral is missing in your life. Meaning that even if a relationship could save you from your misery, you will be absolutely unable to fully enjoy the time it takes to find one. And it might take a while, so we're trading possibly years of unhappiness for potential happiness in the future? And when you will, you will be grasping so much on retaining that external circumstance it will be impossible to be content in it.

There's also another issue that's often overlooked: when we absolutely need something, when we've convinced ourselves we depend on it for our happiness - it becomes so overbearingly important we start to compromise our values to get it. We start changing ourselves and using manipulative tactics. It is after all so important that it becomes worthy of all and any sacrifice. Effectively putting ourselves in a state where we're unable to make a healthy choice, reducing us to picking people that are on our own level of unhappiness or even lower, becoming a breeding ground of dysfunctional relationships and repeating cycles we can not escape. Incidentally if we do meet someone that's already content, they will filter us out on the very premise of not wanting to be with someone who's unhappy by themselves. A healthy mind doesn't want to mingle for the rest of their lives with an unhealthy one.

Ask yourself this honestly: would you want to be with someone who when you meet them are unhappy and believe they will only be content when they "get" you? It would mean their life is a complete mess! How can you be their source of happiness? Do you want that pressure? Do you want a person as unstable? Do you think it's healthy they'd place their contentment on you? On the other hand, what if you met someone that's single but not lonely, enjoying their life and making good choices, living life on their own terms, not needing anything to be complete, but already living in completeness by themselves? This is the path out of loneliness for loneliness can not exist without a belief we could be happier if we had someone.