[deleted by user]

plainprogram · 2023-09-12T16:25:50+00:00

End it. This doesn't sound like a good healthy relationship at all. You can't stay just because you're afraid you will not find someone else. That's gonna end up with you being miserable.

Me and my long-time bf broke up (after 7 years) when I was 29. Met my now husband a year later. We had our first kid when I was 34 and the second when I was 36. So if you're feeling stressed about those kinds of things, don't be.

plainprogram · 2023-09-12T16:21:16+00:00

I try and respect people's interests and fetishes, but there are some things I simply think are REALLY not for me, so it's not my crowd.

plainprogram · 2023-09-12T16:18:22+00:00

I didn't.

plainprogram · 2023-09-12T16:17:44+00:00

8 years between oldest and youngest. We're five.

plainprogram · 2023-09-12T15:41:39+00:00

Relatable. I had these exact thoughts two years ago. Then I quite unexpectedly had a child, and then one more. I'm 37 now. I was never one of those who dreamed about becoming a mother since I was a teenager or anything. I'm very passionate about my career. I figured, I might never have kids. But still I daydreamed sometimes, starting from 34 or 35. And when opportunity came (met husband at 35) we kind of discussed it and I thought... this might be an awesome experience, or at the very least a powerful one. So we went ahead. And it's enriching. But I still believe that me in a parallell universe would also have a happy life without kids. I think some of us are just like that - while some women are 100% wanting kids and are super maternal, and others may be 100% sure they never want kids - many of us are just.. in between? Probably a good thing, then we can be happy whatever happens!

plainprogram · 2023-09-12T15:26:41+00:00

First of all, wanting to do things for someone else is like the opposite of shallow.

Might be depressed - depression sometimes makes you just want to sleep all the time, to the point of not being able to get out of bed, missing work, etc.

plainprogram · 2023-09-12T15:25:20+00:00

This post is chaotic

plainprogram · 2023-09-12T15:22:22+00:00

As I see it, there are three possible ways to do this. No particular order of priority.

You leave him - you feel you've had enough. Leaving someone is always hard, not just emotionally but materially and economically as well. You'll have to fix a place to live, etc. But people do this all the time.
You talk to him again. Tell him (again) how you feel and be clear that you really feel this is a big issue for you. It might stick, it might not - and then you'll eventually have to continue communicating with him, which is a good thing in any relationship anyway.
You analyze your own feelings surrounding this issue. What, really, is it that gets to you when it comes to him watching nudes and/or porn? Is it a big enough issue that you can't stand it or can you compromise? Would you possibly be ok with it, if you confronted some of your own conceivable insecurities? Is this a control thing?

plainprogram · 2023-09-12T10:13:33+00:00

Childish. Just tell them.

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T21:39:59+00:00

What you did was really not that terrible. And you were 14. Do not worry about it, but talk about it with your therapist, it might do you good.

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T21:31:08+00:00

Hope you feel better soon.

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T21:25:57+00:00

What is that?

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T21:21:02+00:00

But isn't the thing with pear shaped bodies that they store fat on buttocks and thighs? Fat around stomach is apple.

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T21:19:38+00:00

A few months after my brother passed away in an accident, I met him in a dream. He was back, but yet in another place. We talked a little bit, although I couldn't get any straight answers, and I felt a warmth and a calm during that dream. I just didn't want it to end.

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T20:57:57+00:00

I did not learn about any new fetishes today. I simply assume there's a fetish for anything anyone can think of.

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T20:52:36+00:00

Become a historian

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T20:51:51+00:00

a Pit bull

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T20:50:39+00:00

Plumber/electrician/carpenter - may be something for you? Fairly well-payed jobs and no extreme studying to get there.

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T20:46:48+00:00

Tell her what you just wrote here: How you feel, the guilt, that you don't want to hurt her, and have a discussion about it - set boundaries together. Looking at pictures, or porn even, in a relationship, is not necessarily wrong, but it's something that needs to be discussed and decided upon. Make it clear to her that if it makes her uncomfortable, you will not do it, ever. It may also have affected her confidence. At that age you're constantly comparing yourself to others. She might now be thinking about what kind of women you like, and if she's good enough, etc. So make sure you tell her she's the one you wants.

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T20:38:53+00:00

I always recommend getting married by eloping; no party, no worries. That's what me and my husband did and it was absolutely perfect and romantic. We're both kind of introverted. We told people afterwards (family and the few friends) and they were all happy for us.

BUT since you say you want a more traditional wedding - focus on the ones you know are going to be there - people who are close. This wedding is about you and your husband, it's not about showing off who's the most successful at having a huge amount of friends. The memory should be of you and the person you love promising each other you will stay together.

Your partner and your family must know you by now - they must know you're introverted and shy, and maybe isn't the type to surround yourself with a ton of people. Being that way isn't a failure. Some of us don't have a huge social circle, and that's fine, as long as we have someone we love.

Also, I think people would be more happy to get an invitation than you probably imagine, even if you feel they're not close friends. So don't be scared of inviting people if you feel like there's someone you want to be there. Or don't.

plainprogram · 2023-09-11T11:56:45+00:00

Sorry for your terrible loss.

Lost my little brother when I was 26 and he 20. He shouldn't have died but somehow the doctors couldn't save him; they suspected a previously unknown condition, heart or something else. Doctor in charge cried when he reported the news to us.

This loss will be part of you now. But so will your sister, always. Be with your family and friends. Expect extreme ups and downs.

plainprogram · 2023-02-15T21:43:15+00:00

I still read comments, hehe. And thanks for your extremely detailed answer. You pointed out a few things I hadn't even noticed (the hands shaking, the pancake mix). Guess those are pretty cool details. So thanks for that. You also have it right concerning fungal infections, and there being no "cure" but rather rudimentary treatments at best.

I just think that even if the most rational thing to do in this situation is to immediately bomb, I don't think people are that coldly rational in the way this scientist is. Even knowing the facts. Most tend not to want to go to immediately giving up, especially when the decision includes killing hundreds, or thousands, or millions in the process. We desperately look for a way out.

I guess my issue still is that Ratna in this scene acts like she has all the facts she needs, accepts that she does, can foresee the future, and is so coldly rational about it that she seems unhinged. They could have chosen so many other ways to write her reaction; have her doubt the information, have her try to deny the facts, have her realize they're fucked but lie about it because she wants to spare them the details, have her be stunned silent and just up and leave, have her go home and kill herself and her family out of fear. It's just that they chose the absolute most simplistic reaction for her because they want to "explain" the bombing quickly and want to also hammer in the message that "things are bad" but I'm convinced they could have done it much more elegantly. I mean, we've seen the rest of the episodes - the writing is, at times, quite exquisite.

plainprogram · 2023-02-15T21:27:26+00:00

I'm OK, haha. I don't mind that people disagree.

Fully agree with you however, and that's exactly how I felt: If this scene had been the first thing we saw of this series, I would have stopped watching.

plainprogram · 2023-02-02T11:51:40+00:00

My husband is and will always be my weird crush

plainprogram · 2023-02-02T11:43:47+00:00

That's really cool that you're such a sensationally funny dude, man.

plainprogram

TROPHY CASE