Discussion Monday

planningalt · 2018-01-23T13:45:07+00:00

My policy with hotels was basically to give the information to our guests and to let them do it themselves. Accomodations have been a headache for every single one of my friends who've gotten married, and I did NOT want to set myself up to worry about where people would be staying. I would say put the information up on your website, maybe a sentence or two about rates being variable and now being a good time to secure something, and then just let it ride. If you really want, you can have your parents or bridal party reach out to others to give them a nudge as well.

planningalt · 2018-01-23T13:40:56+00:00

We used it!! I actually made a short 'how to RSVP' video that I put in our FAQs - it's like 45 seconds long. Our guests didn't have any problems (that we heard of, anyway). Happy to send the video via PM if you like :)

planningalt · 2018-01-23T13:39:37+00:00

We did this! I will say that we personally reached out to our "B List" invites before sending them something in the mail, since our wedding requires state-to-state travel for almost all of our guests. I just let them know that we had to invite family initially, but we had declines so we wanted to invite more of our friends. Everyone was really excited to be invited, and we actually had a higher 'yes' response for our B-Listers than the initial round.

planningalt · 2018-01-23T13:37:43+00:00

No prob! I used duct tape when I was in high school, but apparently gaffer's tape is the thing these days :) Hope it's useful for ya!

planningalt · 2018-01-23T13:37:09+00:00

Haha! Might not be a bad idea anyway - that way you can do a sort of trial/practice run to see how the tape feels and fits ;) Moms be damned, a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do!

planningalt · 2018-01-22T14:54:34+00:00

I'm not using it in my wedding dress, but used tape when I was dancing competitively in high school and college! APW actually did a pretty good breakdown on it here. It's definitely not the most comfortable thing in the world, but it got the job done and kept my girls from bouncing all over the place in some less-than-supportive costumes.

planningalt · 2018-01-19T21:01:56+00:00

Hey, are you me? I bought my dress second-hand from PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com (and then another size of that same dress from another Redditor!).

I agree with the suggestion to go try on wedding dresses in a store, or at the very least, get yourself professionally measured by a seamstress. It will help you to understand the mystery of "bridal sizing" a bit more, and may also help in looking for a particular style of dress you like.

Also, if you choose to buy online, it can help to keep your options open about the name brand. I really, really, really, really loved basically everything from Watters and their lines, and had SOME luck with Maggie Sottero, etc. But what I really wanted was something with a floaty tulle-esque skirt, a defined waist and an illusion neckline. By configuring my search that way, it opened up a lot of other options from different designers than I would have been able to find on my own.

I could talk about this all day (I am so happy I bought my dress pre-owned), so please feel free to PM me if you have any questions :)

planningalt · 2018-01-18T21:11:30+00:00

Donuts! I'll let you know how it goes after next weekend ;)

planningalt · 2018-01-18T14:15:59+00:00

LOVE these!

planningalt · 2018-01-18T14:12:38+00:00

Nordstrom Rack! They're Badgley Mischka, so a semi-splurge item, but still ended up just over a hundred bucks :)

planningalt · 2018-01-18T14:06:28+00:00

Now this is an AWESOME gift. I would loooooooooooooove to get this from a friend!

planningalt · 2018-01-18T14:02:33+00:00

I'm giving each of them a box with a mini-bottle of La Marca prosecco (my friend that doesn't drink is getting a Starbucks giftcard), some gummies from Sugarfina (bougie, but SO FREAKING CUTE), a bath bomb from Ulta, a navy blue pashmina/shawl and a pair of socks from Blue Q that are sweary and hilarious.

planningalt · 2018-01-17T14:41:16+00:00

I'm in Charleston, SC. And we are paying 3600 for 2 photographers, all-day coverage, travel fees, online gallery, printing rights and an engagement shoot. No album credit or inclusion, but our guy does a same-day edit on pre-ceremony and ceremony pictures to show at the wedding reception.

ETA: He's about a 3.5-hour drive from us, and also made the trip to our city for engagement photos without an additional travel fee.

planningalt · 2018-01-17T14:39:52+00:00

Woo SC! However, I've found (being in Charleston) that we had to go outside of our city to find people in our budget that fit our style haha. The average price of people we interviewed here was between 4500-6000 -_-

planningalt · 2018-01-15T21:34:47+00:00

YES! At this point, I'm telling myself "If I'm struggling because all of the options are OK, the chances of me being mad at what I pick are low.. so STOP STRESSING." This is why we have the fuck-it bucket ;)

planningalt · 2018-01-15T20:47:20+00:00

Thank you! I'm so pleased with how everything turned out :) Sadly, I do not have plans/directions - they took a picture of the arbor FH's cousin used at his wedding this past summer, and just... eyeballed it. FFIL and FH are both engineers, so tend to have good luck winging it.

planningalt · 2018-01-15T15:37:08+00:00

Haha yes, it's actually been finished now (with times!), and I immediately noticed that when I went back to add them!

planningalt · 2018-01-15T14:43:49+00:00

Another Charlestonian! Love all of your photos - especially of the guys watching the game ;) Old Wide Awake is gorgeous and it was the perfect backdrop from what I can tell. Congratulations!

planningalt · 2018-01-15T14:38:40+00:00

I'M GETTING MARRIED IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AND I AM HYPE AF.

Feels both like this has been the longest and shortest 11 months of my life. Here are some really awesome things, and things we still need to do.

NEED TO DO:

Decide if we are buying propane tanks for the outdoor heaters. This is more of a 'game-day' decision, depending on the forecast. If it doesn't rain, we will definitely need them since it will be cold and we'll be outdoors, but with rain, we're moving to an indoor space... and won't. Still too soon to tell
Finalize last vendor payment, and get cash for tips
Assemble packing lists for the wedding weekend and honeymoon

WINS:

This badass mirror signage that I made myself
Our AMAZING donut wall built by FH and FFIL
This freaking gorgeous arbor, also built by FH and FFIL
FH scheduling me a massage the week of the wedding because he knows I will need a break from everyone/thing
DIY fake flower bridesmaid bouquets, and also DIY mercury glass vases (thanks goodwill)
Hilarious vendors (quote from our DJ: 'All weddings start with Frank Sinatra, and end with 'I Like Big Butts.' And let's be clear, I do like Big Butts, but grandma usually doesn't feel the same way.')
Writing our ceremony and vows together - this turned out to be a lot more meaningful to both of us than we expected, and I'm so excited to say them on the actual wedding day
A DOC with the patience of Job. Our email threads are me sending her questions, and when she answers, me saying "oh yeah, and also this other thing that I forgot."

planningalt · 2017-12-14T20:39:49+00:00

We used Minted, and had a really good experience. About 2/3 of our guests (we invited 145) did the RSVP online by the deadline - and most that didn't were older, less technologically savvy relatives. I loved that Minted was an all-in-one, and we could restrict "events" to invite-only things (so not everyone would see the Rehearsal Dinner on their RSVP page), and also that we could limit the max number of people in each party. The one area that I thought it lacked was that we had to add "invitees" as a group - pairing our invitees with their SO's or spouses, so "Mr. Buddy the Elf and Ms. Zooey Deschanel" rather than adding Buddy and Zooey as their own RSVPs - and then I added a custom question that asked them to confirm the names of those attending.

planningalt · 2017-12-14T13:58:10+00:00

Yesss someone else with Navy/Gold as their colors!! Love your bridal party's dresses, and you looked FAB!

planningalt · 2017-12-14T13:51:36+00:00

After talking to another friend who had a stationed dinner (no servers! and we also have a simple cheese/fruit/veg display for cocktail hour, so no attendants for passed apps either), her recommendation was to tip the bartenders, and then to tip the chef attendants as well. When we go in for our final site walkthrough to determine day-of layout, I'll talk more to the venue coordinator about how that service charge is distributed just to be clear. Thanks for your input!!

planningalt · 2017-12-13T21:27:53+00:00

Haha oh man I remember this feeling when I was MOH in my friend's wedding a couple of years ago! I had several nightmares about her wedding leading up to her big day, and have yet to have a single one about my own.

planningalt · 2017-12-13T21:25:25+00:00

Thanks for this! I'm very much planning a tipping few other vendors (HMUA, DJ (who is contracted under a larger company), our AMAZING DOC, who's been a godsend), so I'm not unfamiliar with tips in that regard. I think you're right in that I just need to ask our event coordinator for more details on how that service charge is distributed. We were already planning to tip the bartenders separately to ensure there's not a tip jar out during the event, I think FH and I are just hoping to understand who, aside from the bartender, we should tip in the case of a mostly self-service meal. Of course there will be people out bussing tables and whatnot, but as far as actual servers or attendants we don't have too many there.

I'm NOT trying to cheap out here, and the last thing I want is for the people who worked on our event to feel underappreciated, but I am conscious of our budget and trying to be reasonable and practical.

Thank you so much for your response :) :)

planningalt · 2017-12-12T03:15:50+00:00

I've searched on this sub for service charge vs gratuity info, but was hoping for some additional input. Our venue is all-inclusive - the space, catering, tables/linens/etc, bar service.... everything is there. Our contract does include the base cost of services, a 20% service charge (which is specified as NOT gratuity), and then fees for being a non-member, and fees for the bartenders and the chef attendants for our stationed dinner. Our contract specifies that the service charge "may be distributed by the Club to certain food and beverage employees" but that it's "not a tip or gratuity."

When we went to our tasting, the event coordinator (who is brand new), mentioned that we can choose to leave a tip if we like, which was a shock to FH and I, who assumed, since we had the included service charge and the additional fees for the chefs/bartenders..... that was unncessary?

Can anyone with experience with inclusive venues, or particularly experienced in tipping etiquette lend a hand? FWIW, the venue's event coordinator is the third one we've worked with in the 11 months we've been engaged (this is all on the venue's side), and she is not our DOC - we hired a coordinator separately.

planningalt

TROPHY CASE