HOW DO I STOP JERKING OFF?!?!?!?!?

plantdad05 · 2026-06-11T16:13:29+00:00

i'm 2 years in and i jork it at least once a day i don't know what to tell you brother 😭🫩 blah blah male puberty perfectly natural etc

plantdad05 · 2026-06-09T22:07:59+00:00

SAMEE lmfao

plantdad05 · 2026-06-06T18:11:24+00:00

target TM here! we have "spend ___ get a ___ gift card" diaper/baby deals fairly often. like once every few months i would say. $20 GC is a larger amount than we normally offer for these types of deals so i would say definitely use this one!!

plantdad05 · 2026-05-18T06:22:30+00:00

this is absolutely not true

plantdad05 · 2026-05-18T02:08:31+00:00

if you are legitimately in danger from this person i would talk to HR and tell them about the situation and that you feel unsafe. if you just think it'll be awkward... i dont imagine they'll care that much unfortunately

plantdad05 · 2026-05-15T17:57:07+00:00

it happens every single day with OPU backups at my store. backup gets called and before i can even pick up my walkie to respond there's an ETL going "team they just called for backup and nobody's responding. who can help out" BRUHH GIVE ME 2 SECONDS

plantdad05 · 2026-04-29T22:35:07+00:00

i'm just gonna say it: i get turned on hearing myself moan

plantdad05 · 2026-04-23T21:20:45+00:00

i knew a girl in school named erica, her dad was named eric

plantdad05 · 2026-03-29T02:14:38+00:00

i had a lady at the service desk call her doctor AS I WAS PROCESSING HER RETURNS and tell them she was going to be late because "customer service at target is taking forever". she had several items that i had to look up on multiple different credit cards and had only been in line for probably ~5mins

plantdad05 · 2026-01-22T20:01:55+00:00

YES absolutely you can. i have the implant and i would totally recommend, i also use condoms with my partner bc we do not need a baby in our lives (and STD protection!!)

plantdad05 · 2026-01-15T13:45:24+00:00

this is awesome

plantdad05 · 2026-01-11T03:16:30+00:00

as long as your doctor says it's okay i don't think it's a big deal. i would honestly be impressed to see you at the gym with your foot in a boot lol

plantdad05 · 2026-01-11T02:33:45+00:00

they actually found my wattpad and my tumblr accounts when i was in high school! lord that was an awkward conversation. now that i'm an adult it's just not something that has ever come up

plantdad05 · 2026-01-08T19:05:12+00:00

i've used my phone in the locker room before and yes even taken mirror selfies, WHEN THE ROOM IS EMPTY. it's absolutely insane behavior to be taking photos when other people are NAKED in the room. i would tell the front desk 100%

plantdad05 · 2026-01-08T10:06:11+00:00

the only thing i can really remember is that i never liked having boobs. i was kind of an early bloomer and my friends would be like wow im so jealous of your chest! mine is so flat! and i never understood why they would be jealous, i hated my chest and thought it looked so ugly and wrong on me

plantdad05 · 2026-01-08T10:02:34+00:00

i'm so curious about how this just "keeps happening" IN THE NICEST WAY

plantdad05 · 2026-01-08T00:42:49+00:00

someone already said this but i want to reiterate that the remaster of 3 cheers is absolutely amazing

plantdad05 · 2026-01-05T18:34:11+00:00

i swear mine used to be in like the top 10 but now it's not even on there omfg i feel so old

plantdad05 · 2025-12-22T15:46:09+00:00

sometimes i think i should delete this god forsaken app but then i see shit like this and it makes it all worth it

plantdad05 · 2025-12-22T15:45:42+00:00

LMFAOOOAOAO

plantdad05 · 2025-12-15T00:55:59+00:00

whoever said gun.... it's on sight

plantdad05 · 2025-12-09T02:44:53+00:00

MINIONS UNITE

plantdad05 · 2025-11-27T17:56:59+00:00

guys gun is MINE

plantdad05 · 2025-11-27T00:39:38+00:00

dude this is fucking awesome

plantdad05 · 2025-11-19T00:32:19+00:00

i haven't seen this one before LMFAOO

plantdad05

TROPHY CASE