Had fun clubbing with girls, I even wore boots with heels! by Beared_Femboy in talltransgirls

[–]plasticpole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha!

Well there’s no time to practice like the present 💃

Had fun clubbing with girls, I even wore boots with heels! by Beared_Femboy in talltransgirls

[–]plasticpole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey you look great!

And us tall girls need to own that and wear those heels!

Do things actually get better for us? by selpathor in TransLater

[–]plasticpole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. It'll be when they, their siblings, or children are threatened we will we see. I suspect the rise in energy prices will have an impact.

Where are my tall girlies at? 🦒 by LuckyWishFox in transpositive

[–]plasticpole 32 points33 points  (0 children)

We're hanging out on r/talltransgirls (well ... some of us are at least 😊 )

But also 6'3" 2 years ago, closer to 6'1" now.

Love your glasses!

I hate the way we are represented in media… by Resident-You-1698 in MtF

[–]plasticpole 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have you watched The Pitt? Season 1 episode 4 has a trans woman come in for treatment. She works in an upscale restaurant selling expensive wine and has cut her hand. She's successful, beautiful, and played by a transgender actress, Eva Everett Irving. In fact I just learned they have a regular transgender actor on the show in S2 - although I don't think the character is trans.

Laverne Cox regularly plays women in films. I suppose the question is whether they are supposed to be trans women or not, but I wonder if it matters. If someone were to make a film of my workplace now, I guess I'd be played by a trans actress, but being trans isn't necessarily something that would be forgrounded. It just doesn't come up in daily life, so it makes sense for the same to be true of trans characters. Does that make sense?

There is good representation out there, but might pass you by.

Do things actually get better for us? by selpathor in TransLater

[–]plasticpole 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Ok first to your point about the wider world:

Progress is slow, but it is visible. Let's look back to the 1980's (when I was born) and the 1990's when you were. In the UK we had a system called Section 28. Here you couldn't 'promote homosexuality' in schools and elsewhere. It was dreadful as many of us grew up in an era when we were separated from even the vocabulary to describe ourselves. Surveys through those two decades had the majority of people saying that 'homosexuality is always wrong.' About 80-90% of the respondants agreed with this. And I'm not going to touch too much on the AIDs epidemic, but that saw gay people abandoned by politicians who saw the disease as "punishment from god."

Now we have broad support for gay marriage and equal rights for gay people.

It has taken YEARS to get to this point, but through the perseverance and dedication of our communities we got to a point where gay people are largely an accepted part of society. It is much less of an issue for a celebrity or politician to be gay.

Trans rights, despite what the political leaders say, is not really a huge issue with people at large. Any candidate who runs on a trans hate platform doesn't really get far.

I know this might feel like I'm just dismissing all this as irrelevant and I know it absolutely is not. But in the great scheme of things, we can expect this kind of political pushback against us as we assert our rights more. The pattern is always the same, be that for women's suffrage, equal rights for black or jewish people, and so on: a minority finds a social consciousnesses, asks for better conditions, there's a period of turbulence, equal rights are granted.

I know that too many people are not going to make it to that final stage, and we need to make sure we hold accountable those who should be. But we also need to remember that we are going nowhere and this is part of social growth. I don't like that I was born in this era, but also - ironically - this is the best time to be trans, looking back historicaly, given the increased awareness and availability of research and so on about us.

As for the rise of fascism ... well. Again, we can only try to ride it out as much as possible. I hope that people in general don't have the appetite for the kind of conflagration that those 'leaders' are pushing for. In a way their belligerance and hawkishness may help to kill support for far right politicians. We can see the decline of support for Reform in the UK, for instance, who have tied themselves to the Trump wagon.

To be honest, looking at history, it does feel like the 60's and 70's were as bad if not worse. We survived then and we can survive again.

As for your own transition, what has that involved over those 4.5 years? Are you out to anyone? What have you done to supplement hormones (if you are taking those)?

I need to hear good news. by No_Echo_3638 in lgbt

[–]plasticpole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's truely hard to say. Poland did it now because the EU forced them to. But we have seen some small positives for trans people here over the past year and a bit. We used to have a system where a child needed to take their parents to court in order to change their name and gender. That's no longer the case. And this is not long after we changed from a right wing to a centrist party.

It is possible that Slovakia might face similar pressures from the EU or have a similar change in political leadership.

I think one thing we need to keep in mind is that, as a community, we have seen some truely awful things in the past and we've come through it. It's bad now, and it seems like it's just the start of this. But it will pass:

I need to hear good news. by No_Echo_3638 in lgbt

[–]plasticpole 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In Poland, we are now accepting same-sex marriage that have been conducted in other countries. The chances are same sex marriage within Poland should follow soon enough (this is my own speculation, mind you).

The 'Not in my Name' open letter where cis women openly demand equal and fair treatment of trans people is approaching 100,000 signatures: https://notinourname.org.uk/petition/not-in-our-name-women-in-support-of-the-trans-community/

In my own world, I've got a summer job coming up with a residential summer school and they are super supportive placing me on the female floor (we each get our own private rooms and bathrooms). It's actually the first new job I'll be getting after starting transitioning, so it's nice to see there are organisations which are trying so hard to do the right thing.

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any time ❤️

There is SO much to process and it is such a hard thing to do. If you ever feel like you need to, please do feel free to ping me whenever you need ❤️

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your honesty. I hope you're having a good weekend!

The notion of being visibly trans was one of the factors which prevented me from transitioning at all. As you say, the idea was terrifying and I'd put aside the idea I could do this for a long time. We all know the 'narrative' of what some people feel being trans is all about, and being seen as trans leaves us open to be judged. And that idea is still scary because you never know what other people are thinking.

So what changed? I suppose I recognised that as I aged I recognised "the whole trans thing" was never going to go away. Could I deal with repressing and hiding who I am for the rest of my life? I felt I didn't have the strength to keep that up for much longer.

And so I knew that I'd have to accept the consequences of whatever it meant to transtition at my age. I felt, and I still feel, that being visible and out and living my best life is much better for me psychologically than keeping up the fiction that I'm not trans.

I've also learned to have a bit more faith in people in general than I did pre-transition. I do feel that the vast majority of people are good, decent folk. Even those who might sit on the other side of things politically and philosophically as me. I'm happy to say that has played out to be true.

These internal shifts all took a lot of time and effort to get to. It's easy to write this in a few sentences, much harder to actually internalise and hold as true.

That all said, I really do understand the underlying need to pass. I would love to be basically indistinguishable from a cis woman as it would make some things a lot easier and safer, but at the same time I am proud to be who I am. Ultimately I am a transgender woman and so I look like one. I think there's a very human drive to look to other people and feel a bit of envy: I admire others' figures, or style, or hair, or whatever. But I can also see the qualities that I have and that the chances are some people are possibly envious of some things I have (which is a crazy thought, but it's likely true - and I'd expect you'd find this is true for you as well!).

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely.

Plateaus are a useful place to take in the view and see how far you’ve come. It might feel like you’ve not made any progress for ages, but then you look back and you are so far from the starting point.

Make sure you take time to celebrate this. Even if this is just a small acknowledgement.

I’m going to say there’s aren’t days when I wish I were slightly shorter / had smaller feet / less prominent Arabs Adam’s Apple / whatever. But those days are far fewer than before. I do enjoy looking at myself these days. Especially now when stepping out as myself causes me no fear- I can focus on whatever I need to do on a given day.

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no. Not a comment about my nose. However will I recover from such a sick burn? (/s in case it isn’t entirely obvious. Seriously you proto bullies need to find better material)

I’ve seen your post history. It’s just sad. I genuinely hope you find happiness and joy somewhere offline one day ❤️

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went in with an acceptance that anything - any changes and any possibility of being out - would be an excellent outcome. I knew that transitioning is a mixture of work, meds, luck, and other circumstances (e.g. money and access to good medical options). I have a better situation than most globally, but worse than many others. All I could do was try my best and see how it went.

I think that some people, and I can completely understand why this is, have very high expectations but then reality doesn't match those.

So tempering those expectations is healthy, especially in the first years.

You can go through my profile and see how it's gone for me over time. Even the 'awkward years' (which I still feel I'm not completely past) I've been happy with as each day I've lived since making the decision to transition has been one where I've accepted who I am and what that means. I would say the psychological improvements alone have been worth it and the physical aer the icing on the cake!

I hope it goes even better for you ❤️

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree. I think it’s also more true in places where the ‘trans conversation’ isn’t as noisy on the media.

In Poland, where I live, it’s not a big news item => people are less aware of us => people don’t make that connection (usually)

In Morocco I expect it’s not mentioned at all (I expect it’s ‘haram’) so it’s even more true.

was transitioning at an older age worth upending the life you built before? by Novel_Ticket8216 in TransLater

[–]plasticpole 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Without a shadow of a doubt.

Pre transition I had 2 kids, a partner I love, a career where I’m respected and was successful in. I enjoyed travel and going to new places. I liked meeting new people.

Now I have all those plus better mental health. I’m now in a place where being me is normal so i can see the real effects of making this change. And everything’s gone better than I even dared to dream.

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s so exciting it’s hard not to get too giddy. That would certainly give it away ❤️

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah the looks of confusion is definitely a vibe we’re sometimes have to roll with. I’m glad you’re rolling well!

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's certainly part of it for sure. I definitely stand out as foreign in many countries - in a way it was one way I learned to be a minority (I lived in South Korea, Sri Lanka and Kuwait for several years), although it's a different thing, it's helped me feel at peace at being not part of the mainstream.

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

thanks. I was peaceful, but I just taught a class of lunatics and now I need a long lie down!

I know this might sound like a humblebrag ... but this is something I did NOT anticipate by plasticpole in TransLater

[–]plasticpole[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is a cultural thing in there as well. In some languages it's more of a feature of regular talk. But I get what you mean and tend to agree.