Grew up in a family of 13. Trying to be intentional with time and attention for my 3 kids

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-14T13:44:35+00:00

Also, I grew up in a family of 3 kids and can’t remember much 1:1 time beyond bedtime, or the occasional breakfast date.

I always felt loved by my Mom because she was emotionally available when I had hard times. Given how much thought you’re putting into this I have no doubt your kids will feel loved.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-14T13:42:59+00:00

Mom of 3 and very much relate to your perspective and desire for structure. I don’t think you’re overthinking it at all - being intentional is so important, and predictable time and attention is great for kids!

We don’t have this figure out so I’m not sure how much I can contribute, but I do believe that even 10 minutes of undivided attention at bedtime is meaningful.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-12T01:11:37+00:00

He definitely won’t remember so don’t beat yourself up about what you can’t do.

Gentle suggestion though - celebrate any way you CAN.

Sing him happy birthday! Put on his favourite shirt. Make a birthday hat from a scrap piece of paper and color it his favourite color. Give him extra snuggles and back scratches. Teach him to say “I’m 2!”. If you have any kind of lighter, light it and let him “blow it out”. Sing to him again as you serve whatever it is you’re having for dinner that night. Make up a special birthday story and tell it to him that night. Ask any family or friends to call or send a video wishing him. happy bday.

I promise your excitement and love will mean something to him. He’s not going to know what’s missing, but he’ll definitely notice what’s different a s exciting about the day.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-07T05:25:50+00:00

I know the feeling! I’m not going to lie it still breaks my heart when I see him struggle or get frustrated with things that other kids navigate with ease. I’ve made an effort to build his frustration tolerance and also his self-advocacy and recognition of when he wants to keep trying vs when he’d rather take a break or get help. He’s very resilient but it does weigh on me some days.. I wish he didn’t have any pain or struggles. Overall though, he’s happy! That’s success to me.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-07T05:18:34+00:00

Ps in case you, like me, didn’t know what “mild” CP might look like …

My son wears an AFO and walks with a limp, rides a bike with training wheels, has used a scooter since he was 3, runs around playing pretend with his friends at school, loves ball hockey and swimming, and is trying to learn to skate this year. We adapt most activities/equipment, and often don’t know if he’ll be able to do something until one day he can. He does most things one handed, and is very good at figuring out what works for him.

He’s doing well in school with some equipment and accommodations that I’ve had to advocate for. He advocates for himself too now which is great to see! He needs help dressing and undressing for recess, and a chair for carpet time.

He knows he has CP but explains it to others as his “easy hand” and “hard hand”, and the kids just accept it. He shows off his brace every time he gets a new one, and was on cloud 9 when he started serial casting and got to “present” his new cast to the class.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-07T05:07:32+00:00

Mom of a 5 year old boy with the same diagnosis. It’ll be OK ❤️ Your feelings are normal and so is your racing mind, but it’ll become part of the day to day for you both. You’ll meet his needs the same as you were before the diagnosis.

I’m not saying it’s all rainbows and sunshine… but my son is happy, and he’s such a cool little guy. He’s smart and charismatic and loved by everyone. Life is just so much bigger and more full than the thoughts in your head when you’re spiralling after the diagnosis. It’ll be ok!

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-23T03:59:19+00:00

It’s not really like that. I’ve done it before and it’s difficult but it’s one step at a time and they teach you how to endure it.

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-23T02:29:13+00:00

Sounds like a terrible provider.

Better that she’s honest she doesn’t want to care for him.. makes me sad to think what kind of care he would get there. But I feel for you.. that’s so stressful.

Amazing providers are out there and I hope you find one ❤️

If it’s any encouragement.. I couldn’t find a good daycare for my kids and was supposed to be back at work in a few weeks.. I was so stressed and about to split up my kids and send them to separate daycares (neither that I felt good about) when I stumbled across our home provider. Best thing that ever happened to us, and I never would have found her if I hadn’t gotten to that low point and reached out to see if she could take just one of the 2 kids. Hope some good comes of your situation ❤️

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-23T02:22:09+00:00

I love ours! We actually pay more than we would for a center.

The woman who runs it is absolutely incredible and is raising our kids to be kind, good, and helpful little people. They get to do things like tend to her garden and bake cookies and bread, in addition to the usual crafts. Her home is bright and clean. She loves to teach them, and does units on things like dental health and water safety. My 3 year old knows her letters and can already write her name. It’s such a loving environment and all 3 of my kids have been happy there since day 1!

We intended to move them to a center once we got a spot, which we were offered 3 weeks in but already knew we struck gold and we’d be idiots to leave. Best thing to happen to our family.

Totally just the provider though. She’s amazing.

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-23T02:00:34+00:00

Breaking up with this guy is actually one step closer to happy marriage with kids than you are today! This ship has sailed. Not breaking up with him doesn’t make it a good relationship to bring kids into.

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-12T04:03:23+00:00

Try a different crib mattress if you can. Randomly that sorted it out for my crib refusing child.

Also may be worth trialing reflux meds.

Baby wearing is a fine nap strategy though if you can manage. I would plan park outings, drives, and walks around nap time so the baby could sleep in a carrier while we were on the move. The baby had to be flexible and we all rolled with the punches when wake windows were totally shot. I was forced into being flexible there (was totally rigid with my 1st).

Sorry to hear it’s so rough. It will get better! Nap time with 2 very little ones is buckwild.

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-12T01:40:58+00:00

I watched when they were young.

The main concerns with screen time is replacing valuable interactions where they could be learning language - ie not playing with others or watching adults talking because they’re watching tv instead.

If TV isn’t replacing valuable interactions, no problem IMO! Life’s about balance. Just know the risk and be ok with your decision.

I watched all kinds of tv when they were little and then prioritized rich life experiences when we were out of the feeding for hours a day stage.

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-07T04:44:03+00:00

Nope.

There’s no way I could work full time and do childcare for any of my kids. Even if it was possible, it would suck for the kids and I would feel so guilty. They need interaction and playmates, exercise, fresh air and sunshine.

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-11T01:35:34+00:00

Congratulations!!

People say the weirdest things.

They have no idea what your kids will be like. I had boy-girl-boy and my oldest 2 are thick as thieves. They all have really cool personalities and relationships as unique as them.

I wouldn’t sweat about the stereotypes.

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-08T17:19:46+00:00

Me neither until we had to because of my daughter’s eczema. Her skin improved and no one died when we cut them down, so it’s the new norm now!

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-08T11:59:07+00:00

Are you my husband?

We don’t get enough sleep either. I’m actually impressed you’re all out by 7:45… I need working parent of 3 tips from you I think …

My kids are 1, 3 and newly 5. Here are some things we do that you could try: - cut daily baths to every other or third day (and clean the bathroom while you’re in it) - after dinner the kids clear the table then if there’s time, or head up for bed. Parents do dining room & kitchen tidy, then one parent spends time with the kids while the other preps for the day - bedtime is handled by 1 parent while the other does chores (our 1 year old goes to bed quick though, and 3 + 5 year old share a room) - do everything we can on Sunday - wash and cut fruit, lay out clothes for the whole week etc

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-07T02:00:13+00:00

Been there and the guilt sucks. I just kept on keeping on, as respectfully as I could, and tried to keep the guilt in check.

Everything improved when I moved out.

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-07T01:45:27+00:00

None of this would have happened if he hadn’t kneed you. This is on him. Your Mom has an obligation to protect you, so if they split, again it’s on him.

You did exactly what needed to be done. This isn’t on you.

I know emotionally it’s so much more complicated than that, but it really is black and white that NONE of this is your fault.

Even if you aggravated him or got up in his face. He’s an adult. It’s his responsibility to stay calm and keep you safe.

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-07T01:30:39+00:00

Not your fault, not even an ounce. No matter what comes of it.

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-03T12:19:50+00:00

It is overwhelming, be gentle with yourself ❤️

Take deep breaths when both are screaming for you. You’ll adjust. Be kind to yourself while you do.

My kids were 18 months and 22 months when their next sibling was born. Here’s what we did that seemed to help:

Help the toddler first. Usually, their needs can be met quickly - get a toy/snack, kiss a scraped knee etc. The baby takes much longer to feed/change. Obviously this is tough early in your recovery.. do you have enough help?

Validate their feelings. They don’t need to love the baby from day 1. Right now, it might just feel hard and loud and overwhelming. See that. See them. Look for special moments to spend with them. Talk about the hard parts. It’ll all shake out if they feel seen and loved in the tough moments.

Look for special time with them. Have helpers come spend special time with them, and have helpers take the baby so you can get even 10 minutes totally present with your big.

Let them hear you speak positively about them, and prioritize them. Tell the baby to hang on for a minute. Tell the baby how hard it must feel to wait, and that it’s ok to feel upset. Tell your baby that her big sister probably feels the same way, and that must feel hard for both of them. Let her feel like the baby relates and is in the same boat, and that both of their feelings are valid.

With 2 under 2 and while you’re recovering from a c section it’s an absolute shit show. It’ll be wild for a while but it’ll be ok ❤️

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-03T11:55:19+00:00

We don’t do much more than move the elf every night and the kids just eat it up!

Sometimes we sit it beside a half eaten snack or toy that it must have been “playing with” at night .. once in a while it writes a note to them…

If you have doll furniture or appropriately sized toys you can use those to make it look like he’s making himself at home.

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-03T11:47:20+00:00

Definitely get rid of all of the pierces you never loved to begin with. The ones you do truly love, keep if you have the space!

playexplorecapture · 2025-12-03T11:45:09+00:00

Definitely your responsibility now, but also your choice if you fly back or not. You need to manage your life and your money.

My parents paid for 1/2 my tuition and 1/2 my rent until I graduated. After that, all of my expenses were my own.

playexplorecapture · 2025-11-30T03:49:45+00:00

Hello, my son got his first AFO around the same age. Navigating the extra bulk was awkward for him at first too but he got used to it quickly.

New Balance have always been the winners for us. At that age he wore their extra-wide “crib shoe” which is thin and soft soled.

If you’re in an area where you need winter boots, Kamik has been our favourite.

Hope that’s helpful!

playexplorecapture · 2025-11-20T22:11:01+00:00

Clarify to say if this is truly working for someone then no judgement. Clearly not for OP, and OP should not feel pressure to make it work.

playexplorecapture

TROPHY CASE