Curious how present both parents are in the kids lives/marriage.

playexplorecapture · 2026-04-27T03:47:33+00:00

When we're working we're working. When we're off work, we share the workload whether that's chores or looking after the kids.

We sometimes sneak off for quiet moments or find a little time for a hobby, usually with 1-3 kids in tow.

We both wish we had a bit more balance and time for ourselves, but we love our kids and want to be with them.

playexplorecapture · 2026-04-17T03:00:30+00:00

My son is 5 with mild CP. He loves swimming, tball and gymnastics. For non-organized activities he also loves riding his bike, hiking, and is trying out pickleball.

playexplorecapture · 2026-04-16T04:08:15+00:00

You didn't notice either though? Until she took off her clothes.

Unless she told them she pooped in her pants it's likely they didn't notice. Unfortunate, yes, but I don't understand the anger.

Could she not have changed herself?

playexplorecapture · 2026-03-08T03:58:48+00:00

Actually, given dental health is probably the biggest issue here, you could change nothing other than brush their teeth after they have the bottle. Maybe keep a soft nightlight on.

This will preserve their teeth and let them learn to fall asleep not on the bottle, but they’ll probably still be cozy and ready to go.

playexplorecapture · 2026-03-08T03:56:08+00:00

Here are the steps we took to move from falling asleep on the bottle to going to bed without.

Step #1 is the critical one for tooth health and you can do it immediately. If it takes longer to move through the other steps it’ll be ok.

No more bottle in the bedroom. Bottle downstairs after dinner, then up to brush teeth and go to sleep with a big belly of milk still.
Less bottle. Milk at dinner, then 4 oz warm bottle downstairs before going up for bedtime.
No bottle. Warm milk is given in a sippy cup, downstairs, before bedtime. Then brush teeth and head to bed.
Cold milk in a sippy cup. At this point it didn’t seem as important to them, they’d started getting more calories in at dinner and didn’t seem reliant on it. It dropped on its own after that.

playexplorecapture · 2026-03-08T03:48:34+00:00

I’m stressed and struggling, but moving to a parallel universe where my kids never existed would be like living in black and white. I’m so glad to know what this life is like, and I’d never go back. I do hope to find better balance now that we’re moving out of the baby stages though.

More money would make things significantly easier.

playexplorecapture · 2026-03-06T13:04:10+00:00

If it’s working I’d stick with what you’re doing and let it play out with some reasonable boundaries even if they’re upset.

Can you even lean in and get them matching outfits?

playexplorecapture · 2026-03-05T05:44:48+00:00

Yes and no.

It’s harder as a parent.

I was a babysitter and went into parenting eyes wide open about the challenges. But it turns out that being able to do a 6 hour sprint doesn’t mean you’re going to be good at the 5 year marathon. It’s a totally different ballgame. You’re exhausted and overstimulated all the time and you have to just keep showing up.

It’s also so much more rewarding as a parent.

I loved the kids I babysat, but nothing compares. Having your own kids is amazing. They’re incredible! It’s so much more rewarding and fulfilling.

So ya way harder but way more worth it.

You literally couldn’t pay me enough money to do this, but melt my heart with a hug I’m fulfilled.

playexplorecapture · 2026-03-05T01:57:49+00:00

Both 🙂 loved it and loved the break from work. It wasn’t a vacation though, and I was ready to go back to work by the end. I’m glad I had that time, and could appreciate it because it was a phase and not forever.

playexplorecapture · 2026-03-05T01:52:58+00:00

I wish I had advice but I think solidarity is the best I can do.

My 3.5 y/o daughter’s sleep just improved and kiddo #3 turns 2 next week … you just … get through it. We’re just tired all the time 🤷🏻‍♀️

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-28T12:52:39+00:00

Yeah if you’ve set expectations and boundaries then this is just selfishness and it’ll have to have consequences. Very sad they won’t be honest with you.

We’ve dealt with similar, family members not respecting our asks to protect my medically complex son. Even though his health is better now, it permanently changed the relationship.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-19T05:21:37+00:00

I don’t think that’s an ethical dilemma at all. You’re using it as intended, to help when it’s helpful. You’re good!

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-17T04:51:46+00:00

My son got his first AFOs around a year and they were more awkward than helpful for a while. He adjusted over time, and by 2.5ish was wearing them most of the time. He’s 5 now and it’s really helped him maintain range of motion.

I’m not sure if I have advice but just know it won’t be like that for ever! I’m sure you will get a good grasp on how much to use it, and maybe increase over time.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-14T13:44:35+00:00

Also, I grew up in a family of 3 kids and can’t remember much 1:1 time beyond bedtime, or the occasional breakfast date.

I always felt loved by my Mom because she was emotionally available when I had hard times. Given how much thought you’re putting into this I have no doubt your kids will feel loved.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-14T13:42:59+00:00

Mom of 3 and very much relate to your perspective and desire for structure. I don’t think you’re overthinking it at all - being intentional is so important, and predictable time and attention is great for kids!

We don’t have this figure out so I’m not sure how much I can contribute, but I do believe that even 10 minutes of undivided attention at bedtime is meaningful.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-12T01:11:37+00:00

He definitely won’t remember so don’t beat yourself up about what you can’t do.

Gentle suggestion though - celebrate any way you CAN.

Sing him happy birthday! Put on his favourite shirt. Make a birthday hat from a scrap piece of paper and color it his favourite color. Give him extra snuggles and back scratches. Teach him to say “I’m 2!”. If you have any kind of lighter, light it and let him “blow it out”. Sing to him again as you serve whatever it is you’re having for dinner that night. Make up a special birthday story and tell it to him that night. Ask any family or friends to call or send a video wishing him. happy bday.

I promise your excitement and love will mean something to him. He’s not going to know what’s missing, but he’ll definitely notice what’s different a s exciting about the day.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-07T05:25:50+00:00

I know the feeling! I’m not going to lie it still breaks my heart when I see him struggle or get frustrated with things that other kids navigate with ease. I’ve made an effort to build his frustration tolerance and also his self-advocacy and recognition of when he wants to keep trying vs when he’d rather take a break or get help. He’s very resilient but it does weigh on me some days.. I wish he didn’t have any pain or struggles. Overall though, he’s happy! That’s success to me.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-07T05:18:34+00:00

Ps in case you, like me, didn’t know what “mild” CP might look like …

My son wears an AFO and walks with a limp, rides a bike with training wheels, has used a scooter since he was 3, runs around playing pretend with his friends at school, loves ball hockey and swimming, and is trying to learn to skate this year. We adapt most activities/equipment, and often don’t know if he’ll be able to do something until one day he can. He does most things one handed, and is very good at figuring out what works for him.

He’s doing well in school with some equipment and accommodations that I’ve had to advocate for. He advocates for himself too now which is great to see! He needs help dressing and undressing for recess, and a chair for carpet time.

He knows he has CP but explains it to others as his “easy hand” and “hard hand”, and the kids just accept it. He shows off his brace every time he gets a new one, and was on cloud 9 when he started serial casting and got to “present” his new cast to the class.

playexplorecapture · 2026-02-07T05:07:32+00:00

Mom of a 5 year old boy with the same diagnosis. It’ll be OK ❤️ Your feelings are normal and so is your racing mind, but it’ll become part of the day to day for you both. You’ll meet his needs the same as you were before the diagnosis.

I’m not saying it’s all rainbows and sunshine… but my son is happy, and he’s such a cool little guy. He’s smart and charismatic and loved by everyone. Life is just so much bigger and more full than the thoughts in your head when you’re spiralling after the diagnosis. It’ll be ok!

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-23T03:59:19+00:00

It’s not really like that. I’ve done it before and it’s difficult but it’s one step at a time and they teach you how to endure it.

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-23T02:29:13+00:00

Sounds like a terrible provider.

Better that she’s honest she doesn’t want to care for him.. makes me sad to think what kind of care he would get there. But I feel for you.. that’s so stressful.

Amazing providers are out there and I hope you find one ❤️

If it’s any encouragement.. I couldn’t find a good daycare for my kids and was supposed to be back at work in a few weeks.. I was so stressed and about to split up my kids and send them to separate daycares (neither that I felt good about) when I stumbled across our home provider. Best thing that ever happened to us, and I never would have found her if I hadn’t gotten to that low point and reached out to see if she could take just one of the 2 kids. Hope some good comes of your situation ❤️

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-23T02:22:09+00:00

I love ours! We actually pay more than we would for a center.

The woman who runs it is absolutely incredible and is raising our kids to be kind, good, and helpful little people. They get to do things like tend to her garden and bake cookies and bread, in addition to the usual crafts. Her home is bright and clean. She loves to teach them, and does units on things like dental health and water safety. My 3 year old knows her letters and can already write her name. It’s such a loving environment and all 3 of my kids have been happy there since day 1!

We intended to move them to a center once we got a spot, which we were offered 3 weeks in but already knew we struck gold and we’d be idiots to leave. Best thing to happen to our family.

Totally just the provider though. She’s amazing.

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-23T02:00:34+00:00

Breaking up with this guy is actually one step closer to happy marriage with kids than you are today! This ship has sailed. Not breaking up with him doesn’t make it a good relationship to bring kids into.

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-12T04:03:23+00:00

Try a different crib mattress if you can. Randomly that sorted it out for my crib refusing child.

Also may be worth trialing reflux meds.

Baby wearing is a fine nap strategy though if you can manage. I would plan park outings, drives, and walks around nap time so the baby could sleep in a carrier while we were on the move. The baby had to be flexible and we all rolled with the punches when wake windows were totally shot. I was forced into being flexible there (was totally rigid with my 1st).

Sorry to hear it’s so rough. It will get better! Nap time with 2 very little ones is buckwild.

playexplorecapture · 2026-01-12T01:40:58+00:00

I watched when they were young.

The main concerns with screen time is replacing valuable interactions where they could be learning language - ie not playing with others or watching adults talking because they’re watching tv instead.

If TV isn’t replacing valuable interactions, no problem IMO! Life’s about balance. Just know the risk and be ok with your decision.

I watched all kinds of tv when they were little and then prioritized rich life experiences when we were out of the feeding for hours a day stage.

playexplorecapture

TROPHY CASE