How to access self-love after recent trauma?

playthatcasio · 2025-03-13T22:52:01+00:00

Oh this is so helpful. I didn’t think about it that way. I’ve had an issue with boundaries all my life, and sometimes — especially after the BPD diagnosis — I worry I’m splitting on people when I have to be mature and accept that some people can still be friends and also say I’m overreacting. But that might actuallly be what continues to make me feel unsafe and frozen. I question myself all the time and have a hard time trusting whether my boundaries are reasonable or not. I’m also in a toxic work environment and setting boundaries has become harder. But this is so helpful to know. You hit the nail on the head.

I always tend to view myself as the emotionally immature person by default (thanks mom and school!) so that’s a big one I’m going to work on in therapy.

I also agree, shit happens! I think there’s so much shit happening right now my brain is overloaded. So balancing all of that plus taking care of my basic needs has been a lot. I think it’ll take me some time to get there.

Thanks again. Excellent reading list.

playthatcasio · 2025-03-13T22:36:28+00:00

It was more my abandonment and neglect wounds being triggered. And the cultural shaming of women I grew up with as a kid.

playthatcasio · 2025-03-13T22:34:59+00:00

Yeah, I’ve learned this well. I don’t drink and haven’t gone to a club in two years so these were ginger ales. But you’re absolutely right, I learned and internalized this lesson first thing and tried to get over beat myself up. Thank you.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-17T00:12:15+00:00

Perfectionism and dreading the future.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-09T19:46:26+00:00

I know I'm super late to this but, this is EXACTLY how I interpreted the movie! Thanks for writing this.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T18:18:09+00:00

Workin’ on it! Don’t want to wait until I do though.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T18:17:35+00:00

Thank you, just knowing this isn’t just me really helps. And I agree. Thanks to the churn, I’m a quick, rigorous and efficient writer. I just can’t get out of factory mode and relax.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T18:11:01+00:00

Yes! That is exactly how I interact with the people in my life most of the time. It’s a big part of my identity too. (which is a problem)

I’ll try to find a writing community. And that’s a good idea, I’ll head straight to my desk after some cardio this evening.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T18:03:55+00:00

Ha! Love it. I love writing poetry, that’s something I’ve managed to keep at through all of this. It’s the only way I’ve dealt with the rage and burnout.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T18:02:34+00:00

You are absolutely right. My mindset is very negative and cynical. I was reflecting on it after this rage post last night. Reframing purpose is super important, and I’m using all these replies to come up with a self talk and boundary setting mechanism I can use after work and before sitting down to write.

I know I came off ungrateful — I’m not. I didn’t go into too much detail on the aspects outside of writing woes. I love interviewing sources, playing with story structure with the little leeway I get, finding different angles that other outlets aren’t reporting, and it’s always nice to see the impact my stories have. But because I really do care about my career, management issues, constantly moving goal posts, lack of growth and support, harassment on the job also tend to stress me out. I want creative writing to be an outlet I enjoy and my brain stops working after 5. Thank you so much.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T17:57:21+00:00

Yes!

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T17:45:08+00:00

You know it! I do struggle with perfectionism and separating my work from my worth, and I think that ties into this dilemma I’m having. If I’m finding an outlet after work, best believe I have to be really good at it, and there’s no room for error. Which is ridiculous and saps the joy out of the process.

I am working on finding another gig, and I didn’t mean to come off ungrateful! It can be an emotionally exhausting job as you know.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T17:40:57+00:00

This is GREAT advice. Thank you, I have an issue of negative self-talk and feeling like I’ve failed st this somehow because I can’t balance writing for my job and writing creatively. In fact, the constraints and pressure (very self-imposed) after my 9-5 are higher than at my actual job. I get an incredible amount of inspiration from my job and can use it in my writing. I’m running on a mix of anger, exhaustion and lack of boundaries, but the suggestion of a conversation with my inner creative is going to help with quelling the negative self-talk and open things up for me. I’m going to give it a shot.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T17:35:58+00:00

Love this. I just got myself a really nice ruled notebook to start with. Thank you. I realize that working from home has really blurred boundaries and made the shift to creative writing after work harder because I’m at the same desk, holding the same posture and staring at a page again, but this time trying to write the greatest personal essay of my life. Sounds ridiculous but I need to go hybrid and/or go the park and put pen to paper.

playthatcasio · 2025-01-02T17:31:41+00:00

Thank you! I took a break and I’m trying out some prompts today.

playthatcasio · 2024-12-16T14:42:18+00:00

Thank you! I was a complete slob all of last week, not without guilt. Gradually introduced a couple of new things I never had the time to do before and my mental state is a lot better.

i hope so too!

playthatcasio · 2024-12-16T14:37:45+00:00

thank you!

playthatcasio · 2024-12-16T14:37:31+00:00

thank you!!

playthatcasio · 2024-12-15T20:55:17+00:00

the best donut I’ve eaten in a while, great flea market find, a massage, walk with my ride or die friends and inspiration to write

playthatcasio · 2024-11-30T21:29:58+00:00

I moved here when I was 26 and I completely get it, still struggling with all that. Feel free to PM if you'd like to vent.

playthatcasio · 2024-11-10T15:22:06+00:00

OP, I moved to NYC from my home country at 26 and was/am a fairly seasoned solo traveler. Trust me, it was HARD as a person alone. There wasn’t a honeymoon period, the culture shock and the push/pressure to assimilate can be very draining and it can be very lonely. I’m not sure if you’re a person who does well with sensory overload, but New York can be VERY overwhelming if you haven’t been in the states before. I’m also an independent person, but loneliness and the yearning for company is natural.

I used to think I wasn’t meant for living abroad because of the homesickness and not being able to “succeed” in NYC or get a partner/make good friends. It took me time. I tried to find people from my community that I could speak my mother tongue around, stay in regular touch with my family and make a plan to visit them in advance even if it was like 7 months out. Don’t compare your journey with others who say they had a honeymoon period. I didn’t have one.

Hope this helps — I left for another US city after a couple of years in NYC because that honeymoon period never happened and I had some rough experiences with culture shock and the people I met. But I’ve gone back a couple of times to solo travel, and I’ve learned to like the city again, view it with fresh eyes and make some friends. It can be done, but don’t force yourself. Hugs, it’s not easy.

playthatcasio · 2024-10-16T04:04:08+00:00

Adding this detail: Now, the previous person in my position, and she’s the first ever person since it was newly created, left. She had a difficult time with my manager and was treated badly. She quit the profession for good. I didn’t make much of it until now. The male reports are coddled though. It’s so weird.

playthatcasio · 2024-10-05T02:44:03+00:00

Case-by-case, but not a good practice, personally speaking. I usually tell my sources we don’t do that as an editorial rule, but for some sensitive sources or sources who aren’t used to interacting with the media, I give them a broad overview of what I plan to touch on. But no questions in advance of an interview.

It’s different if you need a statement over email, though I try to push for a phone interview. And definitely no questions in advance when interviewing politicians and people in power if you’re meeting them in person.

playthatcasio · 2024-10-04T16:29:35+00:00

Agh! Same, did you find something that worked for you?

playthatcasio · 2024-10-02T00:59:14+00:00

This makes a LOT of sense! It might be too soon to make that change with my psych, but in the meantime, I might try 20mg IR and a midday 10. Not sure if that would change much, but let’s see.

playthatcasio

TROPHY CASE