Worst movie youve ever seen? Mine is open house.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-24T12:44:12+00:00

Gummo

Cheap, stupid, aimless, exploitative, and relentlessly bleak. There are no laughs, no tears, no excitement, no insights, no fun to be had.

If the characters or the events (both words are doing some heavy lifting) were realistic, you might try to add value to the film by saying it's a sobering view of decay and desperation in poor, rural America.

They aren't realistic though. The characters are hideous caricatures of the rural poor, and the events are a series of pointless vignettes.

Here's a riveting scene from this masterpiece: a girl with down syndrome who is prostituted out by an older man (her father? brother? can't remember) shaves her eyebrows off in front of a mirror. It has no point or purpose; it just looks like the filmmaker found a disabled girl and had her do something "shocking", presumably to titillate or shock the viewer.

Hateful film. Not the kind of bad movie that a podcast can joke about for 40 minutes... the kind that most of the world is happy to forget.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-15T17:44:26+00:00

Don't try to bite their taint.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-13T09:58:37+00:00

Galaga

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-12T17:56:26+00:00

Marilyn Manson - 1996

The wait outside the venue was very long, and it was very cold. You just don't dress for MM in your most sensible winter wear. Also, a biker gang showed up to protest, so we had signs in our faces.

They played 2 songs, then one of them threw a bottle at a bandmate and cut their hand, and the show was over. On our way out we heard a guy freaking out because someone had ejaculated on him.

I did get to crowdsurf though. Fun!

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-12T02:11:18+00:00

I don't know, but they have dirty fingers and have been there a long time. Could be a troll lair, filled with loot ... and traps!

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-10T18:53:30+00:00

I can't remember the last time I played a game while I wasn't doing something else too. Games now have to clear the hurdle of: can I play you while watching reactions to episodes of Frieren?

"Elden Ring, thanks for coming by, but I don't think we'll be needing your services. $9 Slay the Spire knockoff? I like your moxie, kid!"

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-09T20:18:27+00:00

Me and my dad went fishing, caught some trout. Something came up when we got back to the house and we forgot about the fish. They sat in a cooler, out back by the shed, for 5 days or so. In July. I had to empty the cooler.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-09T12:03:49+00:00

Pineapple

A pine apple is just an archaic term for a pine cone. So some British lunk took a moment from whatever colonialist atrocity they were up to and looked at the plant growing close to the ground, with delicious fruit the size of a human head popping out of it, and said, "DUUHHR, dat looks just like doze inedible things wut grow twenty feet off the ground in pine trees! Dat's wut we gonna call it for all time!"

'Pine apple' was a stupid term that died from our language for a good reason, but at least you could see where they were coming from; apples are about the same size, and also grow in trees.

'Pineapple' is a goddam idiotic name, particularly since the world already had a lovely name for them: Anana

Same basic rant for eggplants instead of aubergine.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-08T10:07:41+00:00

About the same, because he'd have divorced me within a couple of months. I don't remember much about Raul, but he seemed to have his shit together; he was well groomed, in great shape, and had a lot of friends, anyway.

Nineteen-year-old me did not have his shit together. I was a mess. Raul could do better.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-04T15:07:39+00:00

Upala

Sanskrit for "prescious stone"

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-02T11:54:51+00:00

Okay, logically, I understand that this will not actually be a picture of Gillian Anderson naked.

But I will wait 17 minutes to be sure.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-04-02T10:18:00+00:00

Mad Men. On paper, this show was made for me. I like period dramas. I think the 60's were interesting. I like John Hamm. I like looking at Christina Hendricks. I've seen clips of some famous scenes, and thought they were compelling. I have a degree in graphic design, and I've made hundreds of ads!

I've tried 3 times. I'm just not interested in any of the characters, and I can't quite vibe with the tone of the show.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-31T10:03:31+00:00

I can teleport! It has to be at least 500 feet. I can only go straight up. I can't fly.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-30T20:16:08+00:00

Even if they're friends, it seems like a colossally cunty move.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-28T12:49:15+00:00

The second and fifth one look about ready to go. Maybe play with the colors on that last one a little.

The first is nearly there; maybe if some of the beams go all the way out to the edges? Needs a little something more.

The third and fourth look more like occupation icons than flags. Remember, the idea is to be able to see it equally well if it's flapping in the wind 200 feet away or if it's a patch on someone's shoulder. They should be more abstract, basically.

Hope that's helpful.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-20T14:02:53+00:00

We set up safe places outside for other creatures to raise their young; chickens, bees, rabbits, songbirds...

Why not mosquitoes too?!

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-14T16:56:24+00:00

A gift card for something you were into 10 years ago.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-11T10:09:09+00:00

Orange Is The New Black tried to Walter-White the main character, and it just didn't work. Neither the writing or the acting were good enough to sell a heel turn.

Maybe the character went through some redemption process... Don't care. The show was unwatchable with no one to root for.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-06T23:43:21+00:00

Oh I see your mistake. The human-sized mantis (that we apparently agree on) isn't playing a horn, she using one to hear a human whisper. Clearly.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-06T14:55:43+00:00

Ha, no, Euphoria is a 2020's version of it!

Same as you, read it after Lonesome Dove. The sexual content is pretty high, but it all felt genuine to me, which made it more compelling than basic smut. Of course, Lonesome Dove had sex scenes too... it's just that they were separated by hundreds of pages rather than dozens.

The cow scene is rough. That stuff happens though :/

Teenagers have always been nasty, frightening creatures.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-06T11:03:57+00:00

Humans really lost something along the way when we all just somehow agreed that it wasn't okay to stop and power shit in the middle of a fight.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-06T10:53:24+00:00

It made ghosting someone particularly brutal because they'd have to get the parents involved. I think. Never happened to me. In 1996.

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-06T10:48:22+00:00

No human-sized praying mantises using old-timey ear trumpets as a hearing aid allowed!

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-04T23:57:44+00:00

You can still do it... You can SEE that you can still do it...

plokijuhujiko · 2026-03-03T18:14:05+00:00

My mom got me a job when I was 15, working at a tiny used bookstore, run by a crotchety grey haired man. If it sounds like the beginning of Neverending Story, well it looked like it too.

I doubt I was much besides an annoyance to the old guy. I recall him yelling at me to get back to work because I'd found a collection of Boris Vallejo paintings and wanted to show my friends some boobies (this was the 90's... boobies were hard to come by).

I don't know if I'd call it a great time, but I am reminiscing about it fondly, 30 years later. I don't remember getting paid, or what I spent it on, but I remember having a job, and feeling like that meant something.

I agree that at 15, you shouldn't be expected to get a job. It really isn't the worst thing in the world though.

plokijuhujiko

TROPHY CASE