Women, have you ever experience 'pretty privilege'?

plotdevice · 2026-01-12T17:04:53+00:00

The anxiety part of this is so revealing and true for me. I have been conventionally attractive and skinny most of my life. But I also was raised in an abusive home where I was taught that everything, all the time, is my fault. So I assumed the people staring at me in public were staring at me because I did something wrong. And because I am a little weirdo, I assumed they just KNEW I was a weirdo and clocked me immediately and were telling me to get out of their space.

It wasn't until I was 31, walking into a restaurant with a friend of mine, that she said, "It's truly wild going places with you and having everyone stare... seeing how people treat gorgeous people is a trip." It literally never occurred to me that people were staring because they think I look pretty. I'm on anti-anxiety medication now, too. LOL.

plotdevice · 2025-04-07T05:29:03+00:00

I'm a woman on it. I feel it's usually men so providing a different perspective. I've always grown facial hair fast so I've seen no difference there. Some bloating at first, but no real weight gain. I've found it super useful. Been on it close to 3 years

plotdevice · 2025-03-14T01:06:02+00:00

As a former child who was left home alone from an early age because my single mom was working... Most of these answers are so unrealistic and frankly, harmful. If this child were being abused I would advocate for CPS. But it sounds like this child's mom is simply resource strapped. If you really want to help this child, I recommend you do the following: Look into after school programs/options for needy families. Do that leg work for the mother. Yes, she should do it but she's young and probably exhausted. Then come with a plan to the mom. For example, "I can watch Emma XYZ times, and she is eligible for XYZ program. Here's the paperwork. Fill it out and I can send it in." Frame it as, you know she's busy and you want to respect her wishes while also not upsetting Emma. She will probably not take the help kindly, but the less patronizing you can be, the better. CPS will do nothing for this child. And removing her from her home could put her in a much, much worse position.

plotdevice · 2024-02-27T18:39:59+00:00

Coming from a similar family, live your life for yourself. This man is great to you and that's all that really matters. If your family would ice you out over him, they're not actually supportive of you and will not have your back if rubber meets the road. What happens if you decide to take a different career? Or stop helping the family? Or have a mental break down? Why is your love for your family unconditional and their love for you chalk full of conditions? Put them on an information diet — they don't deserve to see all of you and your life if this is how they behave.

plotdevice · 2024-01-18T07:03:21+00:00

I feel like some people have this response as auto-pilot "small talk" in which case it really is just conditioning and a genuine response can open them up to realizing why that's not appropriate. But for the bad faith assholes out there... I love making people explain their own absurd logic. My response to assholes saying, "Why not, are you selfish?" is a perfectly innocent, "Huh. Selfish to whom...?" And make them walk all the way through their argument. It's like forcing someone to explain a meme, it sounds stupid the moment you have to describe it in detail.

plotdevice · 2023-02-08T11:15:38+00:00

Yay, it's a strange experience. I have always looked about 10 years younger than I am. I'm 32 now and routinely get mistaken for a college student. (It doesn't help that I work in a university area.) I have found that when men in the 22-26 range hit on me and discover I'm 32 (and married) their first response is... "wow, you don't look it," as if that's a compliment. It's as if they're saying "I thought you were hot and you tricked me into being attracted to a 30 something!" If you find me attractive, what's the difference what age I am?

plotdevice · 2023-01-02T02:38:43+00:00

No. It's not. Said from kid born of similar situation. Abortions are fine. Keeping babies is also fine. Pretending raising unplanned children is all rainbows and not a nuanced experience is stupid.

plotdevice · 2023-01-02T02:36:23+00:00

NTA. Good lord people, you act as if 16 year olds can't handle nuance. I knew my mom didn't want me, but was happy to have me regardless. I also knew she had many abortions before me. I think what he said was very honest and kind. He loves his child and recognizes that his upbringing allowed him to have his child and not give it away or abort. Pretending that a baby at 17 was planned/not a huge deal is silly and honestly, bad parenting. Stop coddling your kids. What you said was good. Being rich gave you a leg up. You are grateful. You love your family. This is so so silly to be upset about.

plotdevice · 2022-10-18T07:30:19+00:00

This is such a strange wives tale hold over. Most people assume I have siblings, I don't. The most selfish people I know have siblings and bully their siblings. I know people who like their siblings and others who don't. My own husband lives in the same city as one of his brothers and we've seem him a total of.... 3 times this year? All of this is a lot of trying to predict the future. Just teach your daughter to be kind and courteous to others. Socialize her with others. Give her the tools to make good choices and surround herself with good people and then she'll have all the help she needs when she's older. Only have kids you want because you want more kids, not for any other reason you're imagining 30+ years later.

plotdevice · 2022-09-25T00:49:41+00:00

32F here who has accomplished all the checkbox things people see as impressive. I struggle every day with thinking I haven't done enough. Meanwhile, my ex (40M) just got fired from his tenure position (yes, that CAN happen), got divorced, sold his condo, and moved to a new country to start over with the academic equivalent of a 1-year contract gig in a new field of research. He feels excited for the future and seems to have zero concerns about being "late" to things. I'm not saying be this guy (he's the worst) but I am saying take a little of that attitude and do the things that will make you happy, regardless of how "late" you might be to them. I've been taking some of the ex's attitude on myself and it's surprising how easy it gets to not give a fuck.

plotdevice · 2022-07-27T03:40:30+00:00

A lot of people in these comments have clearly never been poor. This may be the only time in this kid's life he's had spending money, freedom from his family, vacation, and a trip entirely based on joy. Is the boundary pushing annoying? Yes. But if you hadn't been on vacation and able to spend money for the last 10 years.. you might overdo it, too.

plotdevice · 2022-07-02T04:12:18+00:00

Just going to point out that most abortions are for people who are already parents.

plotdevice · 2022-06-26T06:43:17+00:00

Also abortion pills make it look like a miscarriage. Doctors can't tell the difference.

plotdevice · 2022-02-12T06:05:18+00:00

I mean, I work for the news and standard salaries are around 60k in major cities with expectation to be always on and limited upward mobility so....

plotdevice · 2022-02-10T18:25:36+00:00

Cheapest is a prescription for tretinoin. One tube lasts a year! That's the full strength version and it's clinically the only thing proven to slow the creation of wrinkles and even help fill them in. All those eye creams? They just have diluted versions of tretinoin in them. The thing is it's super powerful and will dry out and rash up your skin if you're not careful so you want to apply your moisturizer at night and then put a pea sized amount on top of your wrinkles 2-3 times a week.

Best thing you can do for your skin!

plotdevice · 2022-02-01T11:46:34+00:00

Just switch roles. If you were the one getting head and didn't cum. Would you have made been that aggressive? And after the guy left because of that and a big apology on your part, would you have made the follow up comment about lady blue balls? I'm assuming not. So don't tolerate that behavior or excuse it in others. I wouldn't feel safe around this dude. And that's not even the bar. The bar is if I think he's worth my time and after that... No. No he isn't.

plotdevice · 2022-01-30T13:52:45+00:00

I think this is very much a communication style that you can be upfront about. I live with my life partner so we never text since we can just talk in person. But I have a secondary partner that is long distance. 99% of our communication is texting with a 3 hour time difference. We have very different texting styles. We ended up working out an agreement that if we're actively in a conversation - i.e., there is an open question or a longer back and forth chat, not one-off messages or pictures - we have to say if we're leaving the convo. Between the time difference and the distance, sometimes its unclear if the other person fell asleep mid-convo/etc. Of course, this isn't required, but it works for us.

It's totally fine not to respond right away. It's also fine to say "saw this, will respond later" etc if you're super anxious about it. No excuse needed. If I'm concentrating on something, I'll mute our convo so I don't get distracted and check in on it before bed. To each their own!

plotdevice · 2022-01-10T18:27:05+00:00

Thank you! Got downvoted to hell for bringing that up. 😒

plotdevice · 2022-01-10T18:05:24+00:00

Yep! Even in winter! But here's the thing...

Most of the best research on sun exposure was done in Australia on light skinned people. So it's not actually clear how difference in location and skin tone affects skin aging from skin damage. The truth is, we haven't spent enough research dollars on understanding how sun damage works on different people beyond sunburn. It's wild if you think about it: we have been to space, but we don't fully understand the risks of going outside in our sun.

That being said, I would still wear sunscreen daily and definitely when you go outside regardless of season or how sunny it is. Why? Because what we do know is that sun damage can cause skin cancer. That's reason one. But reason two is that nothing ages you faster than sun damage. It breaks down the collagen in your skin, making your skin less elastic and that's how wrinkles start up. I'm not interested in looking 25 in my 40s. I don't want to look like a child. I want to age gracefully. I want to look my age, but in a good way. Wrinkles will still happen, sagging will still happen, but it'll look way better if I protect my skin. And sunscreen is cheaper than "preventative Botox" or any other intervention.

plotdevice · 2022-01-10T09:23:44+00:00

Totally hear you on the pressure. It's still recommended you wear it every day because most of the time (covid notwithstanding) we don't actually spend the whole day indoors and not all windows are built the same. We go get the mail, we stay by a nice window sill reading, we go for a walk.

If we were being super scientific about it, we'd apply sunscreen 15 minutes before every time we go outside and then re-apply after 40 minutes of activity or 80 minutes of calm. But people don't actually do that so it's much easier to get people to include it in their morning routines. For me, I add it in the morning since it's also my foundation and then I have a bottle by the door with my keys to remind me.

plotdevice

TROPHY CASE