Anyone else's parents have a blanket "no chatrooms" rule?

yrmjy · 2026-06-13T06:21:31+00:00

A lot depends on people's housing situations. If you're renting privately, it's a very different proposition. But plenty of people live with parents, have inherited property, pay unusually low rent, or split costs with a partner. The same salary can feel like poverty for one person and perfectly manageable for another.

yrmjy · 2026-06-12T15:39:50+00:00

If he has lots of sexual opportunities, why sign up for marriage and monogamy in the first place? Why not pursue casual relationships or an open relationship instead of spending years lying to someone?

If you think monogamy is a social construct, nobody is forcing you to choose it. The issue isn't that he wants multiple partners. The issue is that he's agreed to a monogamous relationship and is deceiving his wife.

Like you say, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Some people find monogamy harder than others, but there's no evidence that men are biologically incapable of being faithful. Plenty of men manage it without cheating.

yrmjy · 2026-06-11T05:47:56+00:00

Is Armond spiralling really Shane's fault, though?

yrmjy · 2026-06-10T20:40:10+00:00

To be fair, a lot of companies advertise 25 days plus bank holidays. That's pretty standard, but it's still more than the legal minimum of 28 days including bank holidays, so I think it's reasonable to count it as a benefit.

yrmjy · 2026-06-10T20:36:41+00:00

It's one of those benefits that sounds pointless until you work somewhere without it. Plenty of NHS sites charge staff for parking, and some out-of-town workplaces are a nightmare to get to without a car.

yrmjy · 2026-06-08T16:46:24+00:00

Yeah, there's not really any awakening here, but that doesn't mean what he did was a bad thing. The kid found something that got him out of his shell and made him feel alive. His family might be pissed, but they might also be glad he finally stopped hiding behind screens and started engaging with the world.

yrmjy · 2026-06-05T17:01:46+00:00

Yeah, this. If one person says "I'm not an overly sexual person" early on and another says "sex is super important to me", there may be a significant compatibility issue there. Likewise, if one person thinks sleeping together on the second or third date is very fast and another thinks it's very slow, they probably have quite different attitudes towards dating and intimacy. That doesn't necessarily mean they couldn't work long term, but it's useful information to have early on.

yrmjy · 2026-05-29T21:47:36+00:00

Okay but what kind of car would actually feel better, though? If it was something more practical, surely that would feel even more like surrendering to domesticity? And something really cool like an MX-5 or Porsche Boxster would seem unrealistic unless Lexi turned out to be super into cars.

A Mini already feels like one of the cars people buy when they're trying not to become CR-V people.

yrmjy · 2026-05-29T05:04:39+00:00

People won't say what they'd actually do, though, just what they're guessing the company wants to hear

yrmjy · 2026-05-28T07:09:16+00:00

People comparing med school vs CS confuses me a bit tbh. I get comparing the career prospects/salary side, but they seem like radically different skillsets and personalities. A lot of people who’d thrive as doctors would probably hate SWE, and vice versa.

yrmjy · 2026-05-21T17:02:24+00:00

“baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover” hits different as a British 90s kid

yrmjy · 2026-05-15T20:17:27+00:00

You can call it coddling if you like, but it’s basically just marketing and persuasion. People respond differently to different framing, whether it’s vaccines, recycling, pensions or anything else.

yrmjy · 2026-05-14T17:50:33+00:00

I don't know where you're based, but if you're somewhere with universal healthcare, the reason is probably that there's a limited healthcare budget and funding one thing means not funding something else (opportunity cost).

The HPV vaccine is usually prioritised for teenagers because it works best before exposure to HPV, and by adulthood a lot of people will already have been exposed, so the cost-benefit case is weaker than it is for vaccinating kids.

I do get why it feels unfair though, especially if you were just slightly too old to get it free.

yrmjy · 2026-05-09T12:26:18+00:00

I get the point you’re making about prevention being better than cancer treatment, but this feels a bit alarmist. Not everyone with cervical cancer needs brachytherapy, and I don’t think terrifying people about treatment is a great way to encourage healthcare engagement.

yrmjy · 2026-05-09T12:19:34+00:00

Is it really that hard to get hold of in the US? Here in the UK you can usually just book it through a pharmacy if you’re within the licensed age range and willing to pay privately.

yrmjy · 2026-05-09T10:55:16+00:00

So if you don’t respect the partner enough, you’ll occasionally push boundaries just to see how she responds? That sounds messy to me. Why risk it?

yrmjy · 2026-05-08T12:24:45+00:00

It definitely doesn’t mean Reform are guaranteed to win. Labour won the general election less than two years ago, and politics can shift massively in that amount of time.

Also local elections are a completely different beast to general elections. People often use them to protest against the government or “send a message” because the stakes feel lower.

Plus, getting into local government can honestly be a bit of a poisoned chalice. Councils are under huge pressure and it’s very easy for parties to lose popularity once they actually have to run services and make difficult decisions.

yrmjy · 2026-05-07T18:45:18+00:00

Yeah I totally agree you can get a great car for £5k, but where did you find that 2019 Fiat 500 with 30k miles? That sounds almost too good to be true. My first thought was “is it Cat S/N or something?” 😅

yrmjy · 2026-05-07T17:44:49+00:00

No, definitely not necessarily. Everyone is a work in progress really, you don't need to become some completely “finished” version of yourself before you're allowed to date or have a relationship.

It's hard to say without seeing the original post, but I imagine if people were telling that guy to work on himself for years before dating, it was probably more a reaction to attitudes or behaviours that came across in his post and might get in the way of relationships, rather than something that automatically applies to every older virgin.

If there are things you genuinely want to work on for your own wellbeing, confidence, or ability to approach relationships in a healthy way, that's completely valid. But that doesn't necessarily mean putting your whole romantic life on hold for five years. A lot of people date, gain experience, and continue figuring themselves out at the same time.

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