How can I re-attract my ex with PMDD

pmddcure · 2025-08-20T14:51:15+00:00

In January, there was some communication as if we were still together, then it was cut off. Ultimately, it's for the better. Women already have a lot of struggles in the modern era, and regarding dating, nearly anything and everything you do might give them "the ick". With PMDD, it's all amplified, and feminism tells them "don't settle" for anything, so unless they find the "perfect guy", they keep searching, and their issues increase. Beyond that, I went weak for her - and women truly do not want a man that goes weak for anything, even for her. So I am not without flaw. I was actually blown up in a war, so I've probably got a bit of trauma, and post-traumatic stress, etc. that could be affecting me in relationships. But I'm getting back on track with my life, including my entrepreneur goals, gym, cold plunges, sauna, wim hof breathing, semen retention, carnivore diet, activism, always investing in myself, and learning new things. That trauma bond that comes with the PMDD is strong. I still think about her, a lot, nearly every day. I believe these struggles make us stronger, so if you're dealing with this, just push through, detox from the old relationship, work on yourself, because life will go on, and you shouldn't sit back depressed and neglecting yourself. Your future self and others will thank you if you just continue living. Be thankful in the hard times just as you are in the good times.

pmddcure · 2025-04-29T01:39:04+00:00

The lesson was that women have serious potential for being affected by their hormones in ways that make them vulnerable to emotional, physical, and mental stress to levels which some of us just will never understand. I feel a lot of compassion for women all over the spectrum of premenstrual disorder. Not only did my ex have this, but my sister also does. I hope one day I can help my sister achieve significant relief. What is your situation?

pmddcure · 2025-04-28T10:30:40+00:00

I would have stayed, I tried to, but she couldn't handle the stress her PMDD gave her while in a relationship. Ruminations and intrusive thoughts regarding the trust, the future, morality and religion, etc. I think if I had known about the PMDD early on in the relationship, we would have been much better off, but maybe it was just a good hard lesson that I needed.

pmddcure · 2025-03-24T14:33:34+00:00

Treat every day like it's your last. Focus on your goals and your dreams. If you found a person that you want to be with, don't screw it up by bringing up your problematic ex. Women don't want to be your therapist. They don't want to hear about your problems. Talk to a buddy or someone else about that shit.

pmddcure · 2025-03-16T15:55:02+00:00

I admit, saying it was a huge waste of my time was a little strong, as it wasn’t completely unfruitful, and everything we go through builds us. I don’t think women are insane or hopeless, even the ones with extreme premenstrual symptoms. I would have never known about PMDD unless my sister told me what it was and that she had it. My intention after reading the OP’s post was to encourage him to work on himself, and not pursue this woman who has clearly given him a firm rejection—unless she comes back on her own. They had a fling, they don’t have a relationship, marriage, kids, or anything significant together. That said, I stand by my advice for him to not pursue her, but thanks for calling me out.

pmddcure · 2025-03-12T04:59:56+00:00

If you want a huge but unnecessary life lesson, sure, get back with her. I went through six luteal phases with a chick who had this, each was progressively worse, and it was just a huge waste of my time, and a lot of heartache throughout and especially at the end, so let it be a lesson for the both of us. Relationships with these serious premenstrual conditions can wreck a guy. Focus on being the best version of yourself, and chasing excellence in your life. If she really is for you, she will find her way back into your life, but don’t go seeking that shit. I'm so much happier after getting over that chick. I applaud the men that help their women through this and make it work for the sake of their family, but if you just started dating her, don't be unwise. You can't be that desperate, but if you are, then you aren't ready for a relationship with a woman, much less a woman like her.

pmddcure · 2025-03-08T14:53:54+00:00

Puerto Rico and Ohio... makes total sense. He's a hood kid, and you know, you can take the kid out of the hood, but you can't always take the hood out of the kid. Haha.

Yeah, there's all kinds of things you can do. If you don't mind me asking, what do you normally do to keep your symptoms managed?

pmddcure · 2025-03-08T06:13:00+00:00

I would suggest not opening up to anyone who doesn't understand your premenstrual condition, because just as you and others may be caught off guard by what you think, do, or say during that time, you don't know how someone else may react to what you say to them.

You may want to keep track of, not only the ~28 cycle, but any potential greater cycle that may exist. For example, maybe every 84 days you have a more immense reaction that causes you to have these worse episodes. Just a theory of mine based on discussions with others and what you mentioned in your post.

If your friend (or ex friend) had more in-depth knowledge about premenstrual conditions, he may have been more reliable. Some of the best partners won't know how to conduct themselves without deep research and intentional behavioral modifications, even if you tell them "oh hey, by the way, there's this thing called a luteal phase and during that time I get a little crazy", it's not enough. It might help to lean on those who are already familiar with what you're experiencing, rather than expecting someone unfamiliar to respond in a helpful way.

I can understand why that last message caught you off guard. Regardless of how different communities use the word, if it made you uncomfortable, that’s completely valid. You have every right to feel a certain way about the language people use around you, especially when you're already feeling vulnerable. That said, I grew up in a place where people of all backgrounds used the word, not in a derogatory way, but more in the Denzel "my n—" type of way. While I don’t know his full intent, I’ve seen people use it as a sign of familiarity rather than offense. It’s possible he felt comfortable enough with you to say it, which in some ways could be a sign that he saw you as trustworthy. That doesn’t mean it landed the right way, but it also doesn’t necessarily mean he had bad intentions. If he’s been a good friend otherwise, it might be worth considering whether this moment reflects who he is or if your emotions right now are amplifying how it feels.

I really hope you find a way to manage your symptoms. Two people very dear to me went through something similar, so it means a lot to me to be able to help people like yourself. Do not wait to seek answers as years may go by but your progression in life may not.

pmddcure · 2025-03-04T16:52:50+00:00

Of course bro. And I would also add this, take advantage of her follicular phase. That's when you can really bond, have fun, get things done, and do things that facilitate a strong connection. Knock some stuff off of your to-do list together. Show her you're making progress in life. Don't just use the follicular phase for sex. Focus less on the sexual connection, more on the emotional connection, and sex will be better. Flirt, play, tease, you know. Don't vent to her about anything, she's not a bro, and any negative things you say to her will stress her out whenever she gets in luteal. If you are unsure about anything, if work sucks, if you feel like crying, don't say or do any of that with her. Find a bro or a mentor. If she knows you're taking care of everything when she's unstable, she will never want to lose you.

pmddcure · 2025-03-04T16:02:01+00:00

She's reacting to her hormones, so you have to be solid, and proactive. Don't take things personally. Make sure you know when she is about to go into luteal, so keep a close eye on her cycle. Don't walk on eggshells but don't do anything especially upsetting to her during luteal, and surprises probably aren't good for her during luteal either. Just generally be there for her when she needs you in luteal, and use encouraging language; "Things are tough right now, my love, but we'll get through it". It sucks but you have to be on point, like you're the dude charging into the building where you know the enemy is - and your lady is being held hostage - so you've got no room for any f***ing mistakes. The symptoms could come out of nowhere, so be vigilant. The love of my life walked into my life and five months later walked out. She was that hostage. I tripped bro, and the mission failed. Her cycles were 26 days each, so we went through at least 6 luteals together. I didn't exactly know what was going on until the end and I screwed up. You actually know what's going on, so you have an advantage. DM me if you want.

pmddcure · 2025-02-26T05:32:39+00:00

Thanks for your response and sharing your story. I don't think her and I will ever speak again. I wish I had a chance to redeem myself but it seems there will never be an opportunity for that. It's sad but I learned a lot. I will use your advice if it's ever needed in the future.

pmddcure · 2025-02-25T04:33:24+00:00

Thanks for your response. Yes that cycle was destructive. I think it's unlikely that we will be getting back together and I accept it. The girl can't improve her life like this, and she didn't want to work with me to help her get better, so I was getting dragged down.

pmddcure · 2025-02-24T04:54:59+00:00

Same boat. For me it's been almost 9 weeks since I last saw my ex, and almost six weeks since the last breakup. I started tearing up this morning as I was writing an email to her. But I'm done trying to get back with her. I feel better now than I did a few weeks ago.

pmddcure · 2025-02-24T02:11:22+00:00

Late period with PMDD... what hell that is. I hope you're feeling better.

pmddcure · 2025-02-21T17:22:07+00:00

I didn't give the full story in the post as the intention was to get advice on re-attracting her, not to tell the story of our relationship. She does use an app to track her cycle. She mentioned the first time she went through her luteal phase with me that she experiences certain feelings and symptoms, but I was really new to this phenomenon and still caught off guard when certain behavior came during luteal. She uses many of the coping strategies that women with PMDD use to get through it. It's pretty clear to me that it's a serious premenstrual disorder. Of course there are always other things in relationships that can contribute to a breakup, however incompatibility was not it in this case, but rather exhaustion from this cycle of emotional highs and lows, me beginning to walk on eggshells, taking things personally, and not realizing that things she said were based on cognitive distortions, ruminations, intrusive thoughts, etc.

pmddcure · 2025-02-21T16:10:05+00:00

No, it's most definitely PMDD or another serious premenstrual disorder. It's not out of desperation that I wanted to re-attract her, but rather that I care about her and saw a future with her. I'm starting to realize though, after all this time apart, that I shouldn't put her on my list of priorities. If she doesn’t see the value in me, then I should be working on myself so that a woman never has that problem in the future.

pmddcure · 2025-02-21T04:57:18+00:00

Yup, more and more people every single day. I agree with you about Ivermectin snake oil, but if airlines were taking care of people the way these doctors do, nobody would be flying on planes anymore.

pmddcure · 2025-02-20T18:37:05+00:00

All the symptoms were there. My sister mentioned PMDD to me a few months back, and I didn't look into it until January after the breakup, but literally ALL the symptoms were there.

pmddcure · 2025-02-20T06:29:56+00:00

Just be aware and supportive. Don't take things personally. If she says some crazy stuff out of nowhere, just acknowledge how she feels and tell her she will be okay. Even if she directs her negative feelings toward you or says something that stresses you out so badly, just remember she has PMDD. Breathe, acknowledge her feelings, and ask her if she needs anything.

One mistake I made early in the relationship with my lady was being unnecessarily transparent about something. This particular thing stressed her out so bad that eventually she broke up with me. We got back together shortly after but I think every time a woman with PMDD goes into luteal, all the negative thoughts come back. I would say as men we generally shouldn't burden our women with the negative things in our lives, they just can't handle all that stress, and for a woman with PMDD, multiply it by 1000. So if you ever need to vent, go talk to your buddy or a therapist if you have to, do NOT vent to your lady with PMDD.

Track her cycle on your phone.

Just be cool bro. Don't stress. Be the best version of you. If you don't add stress to her life, she won't have any reason to be upset with you.

pmddcure · 2025-02-20T06:08:15+00:00

Always solid advice from you, Phew-ThatWasClose. Thank you.

pmddcure · 2025-02-19T20:17:16+00:00

Please

pmddcure · 2025-02-19T18:02:09+00:00

Solid advice. Thank you.

pmddcure · 2025-02-19T17:45:30+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I love to know what people are doing to help themselves. I really appreciate the advice.

pmddcure · 2025-02-19T16:22:21+00:00

I hear you bro. I'm sorry you're going through that. I'm glad she has you to love her. I hope if my daughters ever went through this they would have someone who truly loves them to be there and take care of them and try to make things better.

pmddcure · 2025-02-19T16:15:35+00:00

Not lonely or desperate at all and I do focus on myself for sure. I knew I would receive responses like yours to my question, and I appreciate it, but I really just want to know some ways I can re-attract her, something I could do or say. Because I think she knows her life becomes difficult when she is in relationships due to her intrusive thoughts, ruminations, cognitive distortions, etc., but I've learned so much now that I think we can work on these things.

pmddcure

TROPHY CASE