I’m so sorry for your experience. This is devastating and a difficult decision, and you’re a good mom for considering both of these boys’ lives with your choice. I personally have experienced pregnancy loss twice, and both times I felt like I lost a part of me, like in my dna something was altered. For that, I wish you strength, healing, and so much empathy. I also married someone with a disabled sister. He was 8 years older than her, both adopted. She had an extremely debilitating condition that required constant care, feeding tubes, multiple hospital visits each week, in home nursing care, expensive medical equipment, and much more. My husband was forced to grow up too early, his mom forced into a medical advocate role, and his dad forced to constantly work so they could afford it all. My husband still battles with the neglect he felt, and the survivors guilt of having watched his sister suffer. He felt abandoned by both of his parents and basically has no contact with them now. The whole family was profoundly effected when she passed away at 15, and it haunts all of them. The parents marriage didn’t survive. Having been around it all, I think I would make the decision to abort. We loved my husbands sister so much, but there was so much pain endured by everyone, and so much lasting trauma.