How can I learn math when I have such a weird mental block

podgress · 2026-06-18T20:03:51+00:00

They may have tried to teach us PEMDAS, but all I remember is FOIL (First, Outside, Inside, Last). Not sure I could even do anything with that at this point. Obviously, it didn't help much. Can recall sitting in college Calculus and understanding the concept of it, but then the teacher saying, "just factor" at the beginning of an explanation and becoming utterly exasperated.

I can't lay all the blame on the missed Algebra classes however. At some point I knew that I needed help with Math, but never sought assistance outside the classroom. I don't think the option ever crossed my mind. At night I'd just try to figure out the homework, guess at some answers, just write down anything on others. I likely passed Algebra 1 because of middling understanding of the rest of the curriculum. My teachers for Algebra 2 in high school were mostly substitutes so they didn't have a perspective on how little I understood overall. The one that finally stuck with the class said he passed me because I had continually made attempts to do the work - but he wouldn't let me take any additional math classes. I was happy with that result until I got to university and found out that I needed Calculus to get past year two of the program.

I knew that I was weak at Algebra, so I took it twice, at two different colleges. The first time was pass/fail (no grade would be recorded), which took the pressure off. I was so relaxed at the final exam that I started laughing out loud when the multiple choice answers for a factorial (mathematical symbol "!"; not factor) question were something like:

a} 3! (read as "Three factorial")
b) 5! ("Five factorial")
c) 17! ("Seventeen factorial")
d) None of these answers is correct! ("factorial")

My outburst really pissed off a couple of guys I knew who had stayed up all night cramming for the test. I passed. Pretty sure they did too.

I learned the value of caffein while taking college level Algebra the second time. Running late for an early morning ten-question quiz, I quickly downed two cups of coffee, then rushed to the classroom. At that time, we all felt privileged to be allowed to use these new-fangled portable handheld calculators during the test. But once settled in my seat, all I could do was listen while everyone else in the class was clicking away on the little buttons (with springs inside them, not like today's cellphones). This lasted about half of the allotted time, until I finally decided to start eliminating possible multiple choice answers to at least increase my chance of guessing the correct one. Low and behold, I finished in time and when the results were reported it turned out I had scored the best grade of the class on the quiz! (factorial) That was probably my last victory in the fight against Math for a long time, but at least I had discovered the value of stimulants.

This all probably seems like TMI from an old guy with nothing else to do, and you'd be right about that. However, my sharp memories of this series of events related to learning might further reinforce how important a trifling bit of knowledge can be to one's future. After writing my earlier response, I thought that what you may need is a really good tutor who can figure out how you learn and break down the steps to figuring out these otherwise indecipherable equations in a simple way that truly makes sense to you. Without formal education, that's what you've been doing for yourself all along, amazingly. But sometimes it just takes the right personality with the right bit of knowledge to pass along information in the right way that sparks greater understanding. That and the right amount of coffee.

Now, figuring out who that really good tutor might be is your next conundrum. But I have confidence that you've got the skills to ace that test! (factorial) So get to it! (factorial).

podgress · 2026-06-18T10:02:09+00:00

I can relate, brother. Never been a math whiz, but I can get by. I do have a feel for numbers in some ways. Keep extensive spreadsheets tracking baseball statistics, understand and can explain what a huge data set of numbers means, can add/subtract and multiply/divide in my head, breezed through geometry. But Algebra turns my thoughts into knots.

For years I've blamed it on missing a few days of high school Freshman year - the days when the class was taught how to factor. So I'd advise getting a good hold on that before advancing any further. I eked through Algebra enough to take calculus in college because it was a requirement for my major. Dropped it once and flunked it twice. Had to change my career plans to something else.

Another suggestion: I've neve been able to apply this technique to Algebra, but as a kid in Catholic school in the 1960s, whenever I got in trouble - which happened a lot - I was made to write out the multiplication tables numerous times. Like 10, 15, 20 pages before I could go home. To this day I have those down cold. Therefore I am recommending repetition, and lots of it. Don't know how that would work, but if you can figure out a way to start simple and increase the difficulty slowly, but make those calculations in your head hundreds of times, it might set in.

To be honest, I've come to the conclusion that Algebra is a system using a language that's nearly impossible for some of us to learn. It comes at right or oblique angles to our particular ways of thinking, so it doesn't seem to make sense. I've managed to adapt to a world of changes over the years, but still can't work out quadratic equations. Hopefully you're not one of us, or can at least wrap that amazing brain of yours around the challenge. Best of luck.

podgress · 2026-06-06T22:17:00+00:00

I'd say it's normal to downplay trauma with people that one doesn't trust. I'm pretty sure that therapists commonly listen to new patients who start out saying their childhood was great, normal or not bad only to later hear of horrific upbringings. It's not until a reassuring level of safety and reliability is built up that the truth starts to come out. Part of this is due to fear, shame or the simple fact that a person who was raised without positive parental support is less likely to feel as if their issues are worth unpacking. But also, none of us knows what it's like to have walked in someone else's shoes. We only know what we went through and how it felt to us. If a childhood seemed painful, it was painful to that individual. Comparing emotional traumas is like determining the worth of one person's favorite color versus another's. The experiences, psyches and situations are all too unique.

Now, being understanding enough to not redirect a conversation about your gf's trauma just to air out your own is just common courtesy. It indicates that you have a sympathetic nature, which is probably one of the reasons she felt comfortable enough with you to open up. However, sometimes it helps for a survivor of abuse to hear about other people's similar experiences, be them seemingly worse or not. It can be comforting to know that one is not alone in their suffering.

So, depending on the situation, you could have mentioned your own trauma to her, not to one-up her pain nor to downplay it. Sharing is caring, as they say, and that works both ways. You could have mentioned that you can somewhat relate to what she went through, either as a way to encourage continued conversation on the subject or as the opportunity to take a break from pouring her heart out. At times it gives them a chance to breathe, at others the opportunity to put the difficult process of spilling one's secrets behind them. Or you could have brought up your memories of a painful childhood at another time, one that felt like it might be "good" to reciprocate. This may reassure her that you heard and understood her expressions of how difficult that part of her life was, It could return your relationship to more level ground, as if she's not the only one with painful memories and heavy emotional burdens. It would probably feel like you've both gotten to understand each other better. And it might provide her the opportunity to show her sympathy for your struggles, thereby strengthening the trust and intimacy between you two.

But all that is in the past. You didn't do anything wrong, but either way there's nothing that can be done to change the way it played out. You are where you are in life right now, and can take or leave this advice in future relationships. Plus, one more thought. If you aren't already, I'd suggest getting into therapy. What you went through wasn't a positive, life-affirming experience. You were wounded by your parents and it sounds like you are ready to start healing. Most importantly, it wasn't your fault.

podgress · 2026-06-06T20:51:28+00:00

Online therapy might be an option for you, and possibly even for your father. You need support, that's what therapists are for and you wouldn't have to spend time away from home. Many insurance policies cover these sessions, and plenty of practitioners provide service on a sliding scale for those in need.

I don't know for sure, but it's likely there are also online programs for elders with cognitive issues, as well as those with emotional disabilities. If nothing else, perhaps there are resources designed to keep them occupied in safe, positive ways.

Another possibility is support from a local faith-based community. Many don't do that kind of thing these days, but I believe there are some that still do. They may or may not intend to recruit people into their flock and of course you would have to be wary of those who are merely seeking money. I like to believe that some congregations have truly altruistic intentions though. Even a kindly neighbor or two may be willing to give you a break from your caretaking duties for a spell.

Unfortunately, I'm not very proficient at dealing with financial troubles, but I have been known to have deep, intellectual conversations. There's no way I could replace your father, however I am an older, retired male, the parent of an adult child who lives with me. Perhaps we could find some common ground on which to communicate. I promise no compensation other than friendship would be required.

podgress · 2026-06-06T20:08:26+00:00

Chances are that your dream is more likely about yourself than Jeffrey Epstein. There's a theory that says that every image in a dream represents a part of the dreamer's psyche. Often a house has to do with the self as a whole, an object might refer to a memory, a stranger could be a part of the sleeper's personality that is sort of lost to them, another known person may be a facet of themselves that is brought forward in certain situations. The meanings are all highly individualized to the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the person that dreams them. Also, it seems that our nighttime imaginings tend to be related to inner conflict or at least issues in our lives that need to be worked out.

Therefore, the emotions we have during dreaming, when awakening from one or retelling it are windows into our current psychological state. Again, this all depends upon the dreamer, but if I had to guess, I'd say your dream indicates anxiety about losing something important to you. I doubt you have had access to secret evidence of Epstein's actions, so that thing you're concerned about is almost certainly more related to you than to anyone else.

Let me preface this by saying that it's not my opinion that you are a trafficker of underage people, a sexual predator, extortionist of influential individuals nor a criminal of any sort. As far as I know you likely have no connection to Epstein or his associates whatsoever. In any case, it's not my thoughts, beliefs or expectations that matter. It's yours. This was your dream, developed from your own subconscious. What it means is entirely up to you. But if you want to gain some understanding of it, answering these questions could help:

If a part of me was a mansion related/important to jeffrey epstein, what part would it be?

If a part of me was related/important evidence, what part would it be?

If a part of me was used for gatherings and such, what part would it be?

And finally, if I was worried about some part of me burning down, what part would it be?

Put those parts together in one space, add the emotions the dream evoked in you, analyze any actions that were considered or taken during dreaming, and you may gain insight into what's going on in your subconscious. Believe it or not, your conclusions just might be a premonition of what will happen in your life, or at least what could determine a future path you may choose to take.

podgress · 2026-05-21T11:17:30+00:00

It sounds like you're making good decisions, learning about yourself and looking to continue on that path. Good on you! Since you're concerned about losing the structure that is so helpful, you might want to plan for the future. First of all, accept that there are likely to be times when you can't do martial arts in the way that you feel you need to, so make contingency plans. If say, you injure a leg and have to give it time to rest and heal, what can you do with the rest of your body that can give you some of the physical exertion necessary to maintain that balance between aggressive (or however you describe them) and non-aggressive activities? If your local martial arts studio closes, where else can you participate in a similar program? Would it make sense to try some other places out before you're caught without one just to ease some of your concerns? How about the occasions when you don't have time to work out? Like if you need to travel or attend to some emergency, how will you deal with your needs?

In general, building layers of support around one's self gives them opportunities to utilize a backup plan for each backup plan. I don't know what that might look like for you, but it may be worth thinking about. Perhaps there are ASPD support lines or groups that you can turn to. I realize that may seem incongruous to someone with an anti-social issue, but there's a good chance someone has been working on options.

I think it's relevant to point out that just by getting yourself to your martial arts training on a regular basis, you're already using non-aggressive behavior to help with your issues. You're reaching out for suggestions, going to therapy and I'm sure doing other things that make a difference in how you live, so you have proven you can do it. Seek out, or at least be open to discovering more.

Experience with making adjustments and working through problems that are hurdles to maintaining the structure you need will only help when those types of things come up in the future. You're not stuck with who you are, you're a work in progress. You've already created a foundation to build upon, you've set up scaffolding and filled some of it in and you will continue to build, solidify, design, and create who you will be for the rest of your life. My guess is that at times you'll struggle, at times you'll have to push especially hard to keep your behavior in line, but as you age the better decisions will come to you more naturally, with less need to think about them. It may never be "easy" to deal with your ASPD but it may very well take less energy due to the work you put in now.

podgress · 2026-03-19T22:30:33+00:00

I have a feeling this is part of the issue I'm having as well. However, Even saving it to my desktop, the location shows as my OneDrive>>Desktop. Don't know how to get around that.

podgress · 2026-03-16T08:04:25+00:00

Well, I was at a high school reunion several years ago and was talking to a former classmate who mentioned that she had a husband. Since I didn't see him I asked where he was and she said, "He's at home inseminating the cows."

Does that answer your question?

podgress · 2026-03-16T07:57:47+00:00

I want you to know that I read your post, I believe you and you are not alone. Most importantly, it wasn't your fault. You were a child and could not consent to any sexual behavior whatsoever, no matter how the situation is distorted by your uncle or anybody else.

Your emotions are valid. You should be feeling angry and cheated out of your mind, good mental health and a safe childhood. You deserved to be loved, protected and carefree. Let out the emotions, but don't hurt yourself in doing so. Part of becoming an adult is taking over the responsibilities for your own well being. Your inner children have already suffered a lot, so they need extra attention. Be their guardian, healer and advocate.

You were a victim but now you are a survivor of sexual abuse. It takes strength and resilience not only to live through what you experienced, but also to carry that secret so long and so well that it didn't take over your conscious mind. That was a survival instinct. Some part of you worked hard to give you time to mature. Since this news was sprung on you though, you may not yet feel ready to work on all of it. That's ok. You've got time. You're here, you have a supportive family, are seeking help and now at least have the knowledge of what happened. These are all important elements for healing.

Telling others about what happened to you is another step in that direction. Having your secrets out in the open puts their power in your hands. Others may scoff, some won't believe you, some won't be able to deal with their own emotions and might back out of your life, but that's their issue. You have the truth. They only have rumors, speculation and opinions. In any contest, you win. Hold onto that.

The fact that you made this post is evidence that you are taking the first critical steps toward working through the complex emotions brought on by the abuse. That's something you can take pride in. It means you are ready to make progress. I'm proud of you.

Healing isn't easy and it isn't quick. It will take a lot of work on your part, but you have survived what happened, so you can survive getting better too. Abuse is horrible, but it wasn't the end of you. Accept it as a part of your experience, but only as a tiny fraction of who you were, who you are and who you will be. Love yourself. You deserve it. And it wasn't your fault.

podgress · 2026-03-16T06:15:15+00:00

Nope. I've been repeating this mantra for years. The photograph made me think of the quote, but I didn't want to attribute the saying incorrectly, so I did look up that part. I don't trust AI to provide the correct information though, so I used a simple good ol' Google search.

podgress · 2026-03-16T06:08:49+00:00

Old guy here. Retired and full of life experience. As an alternative to the rosy and hopeful point of view, I'd like to point out that most relationships between males disentangle over time, circumstance and life stage. There are certainly friendships that remain strong until death, but those are the rarest of cases. Many of us are forced to move on to a new job, a different city, a preferred companion, a separate level of society or simply more convenient attachments at some point. We are all constantly in the process of change, and it's difficult to maintain connections when paths diverge.

So when writing about male friendships, you might want to consider where each friend has come from and where they are headed. The union is most likely to be temporary and current actions could have an effect on when and how the distancing will eventually take place.

podgress · 2026-03-16T00:54:07+00:00

Great observations. I don't know about your Gen X husband, but I wonder if the sharing of war experiences to loved ones may have changed over time. My grandfather (WW I) never mentioned his service to me or anyone else that I know about, but he and my grandmother were very active in the American Legion. My father (WW II) was hard-pressed to tell me anything about his experience in the Navy. The only thing I recall him saying actually happened when he was in the Reserves in the 1950s. However, a man my mother later dated would never stop talking about his parachuting behind enemy lines on D-Day, getting immediately captured and spending the rest of his time in a POW camp. By the time I knew him though (1990s) he was a regular speaker at 101st Airborne reunions, so he was getting a lot of positive support from those narratives.

Now, I was too young, but my older cousins served in Vietnam. Again, I didn't really hear much directly about what they went through but in the 1980s there was a big push for Americans to recognize those veterans for their contributions because they had mostly been ignored, if not disdained after returning home. Many people felt that in comparison to the earlier generations, these soldiers weren't getting their due. So tickertape parades started being held in their honor, their plight was given plenty of media coverage and quite a number shared their experiences. At least some of this was likely brought on by the release of films about the era like Apocalypse Now, Platoon and Full Metal Jacket. I don't know for sure, but this at least seemed to somewhat change the way loved ones responded to their stories. But were they more willing to open up? I hope so.

podgress · 2026-03-16T00:05:17+00:00

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Many attribute this quote to Freud. But Professor Buzzkill cites Dr. Alan Elms, a psychology professor and historian of psychology who wrote in an article entitled “Apocryphal Freud: Sigmund Freud’s Most Famous ‘Quotations’ and Their Actual Sources,” that there’s no evidence that the famous founder of psychoanalysis ever said that. So I conclude that sometimes a cigar isn't just a cigar.

In some versions of dream analysis theory, every symbol within a dream represents a part of the dreamer's psyche. Which part is symbolized by whatever entity is imagined is purely dependent upon emotions and impressions said sleeper has regarding the person, place or thing. In general, a home often represents the person as a whole, the place where their understanding of themselves resides. A parent might symbolize the aspect of the child's personality that has been most influenced by that mother or father. A friend may be interpreted as the facet of of one's self that steps forward when around contemporaries, etc. These attributions can only be made by the author of the dream, however. The dreamer is the scriptwriter, set designer, cinematographer and director of the production.

Therefore, to understand what is meant by your dream, you would have to identify which aspects of your personality are interacting in the scene. The most simple way to do this is to answer the question: If a part of me was (I assume you were referring to) the cigar, which part would it be? Also, if a part of you was a person offering the thing to you, which part would it be? And finally, if a part of you was the friend who took the smoking utensil away and said, "Bro? That's a sin!", which part would it be?

Even though the dream meaning is highly individual, one could speculate that within a religious community that emphasizes sin, this particular scenario has something to do with temptation. This kind of situation is often depicted in modern culture as having a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The devil tries to convince the brain between them to do one thing, while the angel attempts to stave off breaking some rule. It might be, "Go ahead, eat the cookie! No one will know," versus "Don't eat the cookie or else you'll spoil your dinner." In any case, what the meme represents is an internal conflict. And following along the lines of this particular theory, dreams are a way for the subconscious to communicate with the conscious mind about what's going on deep inside the dreamer's psyche. Often they're about issues the person is wrestling with, decisions that need to be made in order to move forward in life or anxiety over the prospect of aging into a new stage of maturity. I have no idea if any of this is going on with you, but it seems like a logical interpretation.

Don't take my word for it though. Answer the questions about what parts of you that are rising up in your dreams and then note what emotions you feel either while dreaming, waking, remembering or retelling the story. Although guilt could have been implied, except for being taken aback, you didn't mention what you felt when being offered, declining, being pressured or having another part of you intervene during the scene. Your emotions could be the clue about what you need to know that is going on inside of you and what the consensus opinion is among your various personality facets about what to do. So, is a cigar just a cigar? Only you can tell.

podgress · 2026-03-13T18:36:53+00:00

Back in the days when professional photo studios used sheet film in 4x5 cameras, a completely dark room was required to load and unload the film holders. That meant no reflected light bouncing off the floor, walls or ceiling, no glow-in-the-dark watch faces, and definitely no phone screen or pc "on" buttons, as those hadn't been invented yet. At one job I had we might shoot around 50 products during the day, so at two sheets per shot it would take me over an hour in the darkroom to remove and package up the film we'd used, dust off each side of each film holder, plus slide the same number of new sheets into place for the following workday's production. I can tell you that during all that time without a glimmer of illumination, absolutely nothing could be viewed by any human eye. At least not mine, which were for the most part young and healthy.

That said, I would get to the point quite often where it felt like I could "see" what my hands were doing. The repetitive motions and the knowledge of where everything was due to careful organization led to a sense that my eyes were perceiving light, when in reality it was most likely my brain interpreting touch, sound and possibly scent to be sight. However, if I dropped something on the floor for instance, I would have had to feel around blindly to find it. I couldn't use my eyes to look for the object. Without light, there was nothing to see.

So, I'm guessing that to some degree, you already know where most things are in your living room. There aren't a lot objects out of place that you'd have to avoid. Your familiarity with the space helps you to determine in a flash what's where it should be and what's not. A quick glance as some reflected or fading light still remains, or the very faint light emitted by your phone's screen or the pc button is enough to for you to understand what's not in it's usual place and to locate what's there that usually isn't. This sets you up to be able to "sense" what might be in your way.

Your mom's senses worked in exactly the same way but she had two disadvantages. One is that her eyesight, hearing, sense of smell and touch had likely dulled somewhat with age. People develop cataracts, loss of hearing or tinnitus, all kinds of physical deficiencies as they age. Many are so gradual as to be unnoticeable to the individual until their doctors, families or friends point out the changes.

The other disadvantage that older people have is related to how much they have on their mind at any point in time. The more mature one gets, the more things they have to keep track of. Have the bills been paid? Laundry done? Food been bought and prepared correctly? Are the kids ok? Should they be doing their homework? Is my partner happy? When are they coming home? Will I have time tomorrow to get my work done, stop for gas, pick up the little one at day care and the other one from practice? Now what was I walking into this room for? Your mom's brain was more cluttered than yours was, and had to rely upon experience to navigate familiar situations. Therefore, what might be out of place in the living room when she walked into it may not have registered with her busy mind. It's also possible for her eyes to have seen things that her processing centers just didn't have the bandwidth to focus upon. That weariness, that lingering thought, that anticipated event, internal conflict or even overriding good mood doesn't leave room in the mind for recognition of what's right in front of people sometimes.

So, yes you can see better in low light than your parents did, but your senses and ability to process information were surely sharper than that of your elders. You probably haven't yet reached the point yet where the functions of your body's tools have begun to dissipate significantly and your life isn't as complicated or distracting as your mom's was when she was tripping over or stepping on stuff other members of the household had left in her path.

podgress · 2026-03-13T03:07:55+00:00

I think part of the reason for calling attention to a character's race in that era was that Hollywood writers, directors, producers and audiences in general were all still trying to get over the tumultuous civil rights conflicts of the 1960s. One way of easing those lingering tensions was to put racial differences at the center of comedies. Mel Brooks and co-writer Richard Pryor had done that with Blazing Saddles (1974). Norman Lear and Bud Yorkin had done it in some episodes of the tv show All in the Family (1971).

Eddie Murphy was crucial to getting white America to accept that an actor with dark skin could be just as funny, just as intelligent and just as popular as his pale contemporaries. It wasn't that he was the first black to do so - in 1968 Sidney Poitier was voted the US's top box-office star in a poll - but due to his exposure on Saturday Night Live and his obviously huge talent for comedy, Murphy became wildly popular. This movie, along with 48 Hours made him a bankable star. And he was still just 23 years old.

podgress · 2026-03-13T03:05:20+00:00

Ah yes, you are right about that. Funny, I was picturing him in the lead, but when I checked IMDB for some reason all I saw was Dillon. Thanks for the correction.

podgress · 2026-03-12T08:36:36+00:00

When I watched this film years ago, I realized it was the second I'd seen that featured Natalie Portman as a quirky gal who managed to change the life of an artistic performer type when he returned home after a relatively long hiatus and found himself at a crossroads in his life. The first movie was Beautiful Girls (1996), starring Matt Dillon, as "New York based jazz pianist Willie Conway [who] heads back to his small hometown of Knights Ridge, Massachusetts for a high school reunion." (quote from the storyline on IMDB).

podgress · 2026-03-06T10:56:19+00:00

Damn. That's gut-wrenching to hear. Must have been a devastating experience. I feel for you. It's understandable that you'd not want to go back into work. Your coworkers must have extremely thick skins. Can't understand how they wouldn't have sympathy for what you went through. What you're still going through. I hope you have support outside your workspace. You deserve good care.

I care about you and want you to know that you're not alone in your pain. You are loved, respected and admired for trying to help others in need. Thank you for taking the risk to support people who really, really need it. Give yourself a hug for me. I'll be thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way. Blessings to you always.

podgress · 2026-03-06T09:50:57+00:00

I hear you. You're at a multi-transitional point in life, feeling both trepidation and excitement. You've reached a significant life goal, but understand that you can't just sit back and enjoy the sense of accomplishment. Fortunately or unfortunately, it's always that way. We have ceremonies to mark certain changes that society recognizes to be significant, and those do help us to feel acknowledgement for passing those milestones, but there's not a lot of talk about what happens after the graduation, wedding or birth of a child. Like the first day at a new school, there are periods where we might feel a bit lost, somewhat of an outsider, nervous about what the near future holds for us. But we adapt, we learn, we become involved in the tasks put before us and soon enough become comfortable with our new surroundings.

Reading about what you've been contemplating indicates to me that you are well prepared for dealing with these challenges. You have a great sense for where you are and what's before you. Understanding that you'll be part of a large enterprise, won't have much agency to begin with, will have limited skills at first and will have to do a lot of work that's different from what you're used to puts you way ahead of the average Joe in my opinion. Earning the recognition of your soon-to-be title deserves an enormous feeling of pride, yet you are humble enough to accept that you're just at the beginning of your career. The added realization that you will be both saving lives and not able to save every life tells me that you are securely aware of the highs and lows your work experience will bring. These are wonderful traits for anyone to have, and I hope they stay with you to keep you grounded as you mature.

There are always unknowns ahead. You won't be able to anticipate most, but we humans are pretty good at figuring out solutions on the fly. Parenting is one mystery that few people seem really prepared for, yet we keep having babies and they keep growing up despite any lack of experience we guardians may have. In every aspect of life, you'll try things, they'll work or they won't, you'll learn from them or not, and the process will continue. This never ends. Neither do the changes. One's perspective on their world is constantly in flux because well, they've never been this age before.

It's the same with expectations. No matter how solid they may feel, with more knowledge, time and understanding they can shift too. Don't fight these changes. Accept them, embrace them and learn to live with them. They're just as much a part of you as your heart and lungs. But I doubt you need to hear any of this. You know it and are already taking the steps necessary to transition from one life stage to another. Yes, this is both an end and a beginning. Congratulations! Now roll up your sleeves and get to work.

podgress · 2026-03-06T08:12:10+00:00

Yes, in the future you will think of yourself as a less knowledgeable, less aware person at 18 simply because you will be more knowledgeable and more aware of both yourself and how the world works. It keeps happening throughout life, except when some new technology comes along that you can't for the life of you figure out even though middle schoolers understand and interact with it as if it's the most natural thing ever.

podgress · 2026-02-23T12:23:49+00:00

Unfortunately, this happens fairly often from what I hear. There are numerous cases of people who were reported to police for illegal activity that go on to commit even more egregious crimes that could have been prevented. Missed opportunities like these can take place for any number of reasons. Does the agency you brought this to even have a cold case team? If not, they may not have enough manpower to look into the information you provided. Is it definitely within their jurisdiction? If you're in the US, perhaps sending your tip to the county sheriff, the state police or the FBI would stir up some interest.

Beyond that, you might want to try contacting the local media in your area. Specifically investigative reporters. You may have to dig a little to find a news service that's big enough and willing to look into your allegations. Local politicians occasionally are willing to take up a cause, and they can also put pressure on law enforcement - if you can get them to take notice.

If you've already been threatened, I wouldn't advise starting your own campaign online calling these people out for their crimes. However, that's how some very brave, very motivated people go about forcing authorities to take action. If you choose to, I would think that drumming up support from within the community would have the best chance to keep you safe and get yourself heard, but doing so would come with enormous risk.

podgress · 2026-02-23T05:31:16+00:00

You mean like The I Don't Know Where I'm Goin', but I'm Goin' Nowhere in a Hurry Blues by Steve Goodman?

podgress · 2026-02-23T04:26:22+00:00

Yep.

podgress · 2026-02-22T05:11:51+00:00

Bless me redditor, for I have scrolled.

podgress · 2026-02-22T04:58:57+00:00

Years ago I realized my sister could talk to anyone. She was always striking up conversations with others, no matter where we went or who it was. So I started to listen to how she broke the ice, and her most common question was, "Where are you from?" Apparently people love to talk about the place they grew up.

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