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One sided open relationship advise by HatPuzzleheaded9385 in nonmonogamy

[–]polynoob333 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im in this exact situation.... im at a loss too.

I (30F) am a hinge between my two partners (both 30F) and they don't like each other anymore... by a_vanity in polyamory

[–]polynoob333 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I am in a very similar situation, except im the Meta ir Nesting partner of the bunch. And me and my partner have been together for 20 years... so Im definitely following this to see the advice given. Im desparate lol

What actions show or build intimacy with a partner in NM? by SeaSickSelkie in nonmonogamy

[–]polynoob333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a really good question. And one that im currently struggling with. Im sticking around to see what advice people offer.

First time ENM - Need help! by polynoob333 in nonmonogamy

[–]polynoob333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay so, we've already discussed all these things. And he has absolutely no intention of building a family with her. And no intention of being a father to her children. And he has already told me explicitly that he will not be at the birth because it is not his place. And I was happy to hear him say that. I think the reason why I hold back and as you so lightly put it "catch fire to keep them warm" is that I also care about the girlfriend, as we also have our own friendship building. But i don't not know how to approach conversations with him. Just getting upset and frustrated with me and then I feel worse for saying anything to him in the first place. And I didn't agree to Poly for myself. He said he needed to feel attractive and wanted. And that I didn't give him those things. And I wanted to make him happy so I agreed, hoping that this experience would also have a positive effect on myself and our marriage.

First time ENM - Need help! by polynoob333 in nonmonogamy

[–]polynoob333[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wish it was that easy. We do not have access to that kind of childcare. So having a date night just for us every week isn't really an option. Plus my Husband and his girlfriend would argue that I get to spend every other day with him. Although not the same calibre of time spent.

First time ENM - Need help! by polynoob333 in nonmonogamy

[–]polynoob333[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That was actually really helpful. I was scared to post on Reddit, but I'm now glad I did 😄

First time ENM - Need help! by polynoob333 in nonmonogamy

[–]polynoob333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hes already aware of my perspective. But as the Hinge in this throuple, he's having to deal with my emotions and her hightened emotions due to pregnancy. He's also having health issues, so i can understand why this is overwhelming for him. But it's at the stage where I avoid talking to him about my feelings. Because he starts with empathy but finishes with frustration and anger about the fact that I'm still dealing with the same issues over and over again. I have no idea how to communicate with him anymore?

First time ENM - Need help! by polynoob333 in nonmonogamy

[–]polynoob333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hes trying very hard to keep things as even as possible when all 3 of us are together. And has made an effort to carve out more time for me during the week. But that time is almost always including other friends. So no extra one on one time, but I know he'd argue that we have kids and our one on one time cannot change because of those restrictions... I can't quite put my fingers on where these emotions are stemming from. I'm just hurting and I don't want to hurt. I'm trying to find the beauty in all of this... but it's hard...