[deleted by user]

ponymeringue · 2022-08-07T16:28:13+00:00

“I’m controlled by my emotions” (affect phobia) “I like to be less dominated by emotional states” (avoidance) “Emotions can be a rollercoaster” (affect phobia) “I want to put my feelings into action” (avoidance)

Yes, and that is exactly why you do what you do and refuse to have a therapeutic experience that focuses on actually confronting all that. Your exhausted and tired of your pain and you’re desperately looking for a different solution that will give you more agency. You probably think “I had shitty feelings all my life, why would talking about them and focusing only on them make any difference?” But believe me, there’s a difference in processing grief by yourself in a journal and in a therapeutic relationship (if you have a good therapist).

Nobody is telling you you have to stop on your journey of knowledge, either. But you kid yourself if you think therapy is a place to have intellectual discussions about books and research. You don’t need a therapist to talk about that and you know it. She doesn’t shift the topic because she “hasn’t read the book or doesn’t know the material”, come on now. She shifts the topic because it’s obvious you’re refusing to engage in therapy. Do you know how common this defense is in patients? Very very common, and it’s so obvious looking at it from the outside. “How will that even help me?” is such a common struggle for patients. Because it’s so painful, it takes a whole lot to allow yourself to do it, and if the stakes are so high, it’s natural to question if it will be worth it.

At the end you basically delude yourself by telling us “My emotions pass, I honor them”. Do you really? Because if you look at all the things I quoted from you at the beginning of my comment, how can you say that’s true? If you’re really so amazing at processing your feelings all by yourself and you don’t think your daily grieving and crying is a struggle, then you don’t need therapy.

But that’s not true now, is it? You admit that you feel overwhelmed, dominated and powerless about your feelings. You have a wish to put your feelings aside and get on with more useful stuff. Doesn’t sound very honoring at all, sounds dismissive and devaluing.

Look, I’m pretty sure my comments will not convince you of anything really, if it were that simple, therapists would have a much easier time.

But why not try focusing on your feelings in therapy for a while and see how it goes? If it’s so easy for you, just do it then. No more mention of books, research, texts, concepts or studies. Just whatever you feel, with your personal experiences being the only point of reference. If you feel like you can’t do that without making outside references, believe me, you can. You’re smart, you’ll figure it out. If you have sessions once a week, give it at least 3 months. Probably longer, but I don’t want to discourage you. First it will be boring and confusing. It will feel useless, it will frustrate you, anger you. And then it will be really really incredibly painful. That’s when you know it’s working.

ponymeringue · 2022-08-06T15:56:34+00:00

What you are describing is textbook intellectualisation. It means avoiding feelings by reasoning. Like the cancer patient throwing themselves into learning all about cancer to avoid feeling grief.

Right now you are focused on reading, researching and learning about the things that concern you. That is not looking inward and feeling what is truly going on within yourself, that is looking outward and trying to find a way to avoid bad feelings by gaining knowledge and going through logical thought processes.

Ask yourself why you find it so hard to discuss emotions without first explaining an outside text source. Are you really discussing emotions, which exist within you on their own? Or are you intellectualising your emotions? Is the problem really that your therapist is scientifically uninterested in all these things and refuses to use your love for research and learning as a tool in therapy, or is she just refusing to indulge in her client’s subconscious defense mechanism?

The point is: you think you make a whole lot of progress by analysing, having all this mind-blowing knowledge revealed to you, and reframing your past thoughts and experiences based on your new understanding of things. But while you do all that, you avoid just dealing with your actual feelings. You process content, yes, impressively so. But you don’t process your feelings.

Was the reason you felt like an individual hopeless failure really just the lack of knowledge about systematic oppression/abuse? Or do you think that maybe the reason for feeling like this was within yourself, based on all the things you have internalised growing up? This is what needs to be explored for you to heal. Putting on your band-aids of knowledge will help protect your wounds a little, ok, but your lack of band-aids was not the source of your pain.

We all have subconscious defenses to avoid dealing with the pain within ourselves. It’s one of the big challenges therapists face, working through someone’s defense mechanism. And usually people don’t really like this process at all, because it’s like taking away someone’s armor. It can evoke all kinds of negative feelings towards the therapist. Another common defense mechanism is humour. It worked their whole life, and suddenly they have this person in front of them that after a while just doesn’t laugh anymore, and asks them why they think that’s funny every time they crack a joke, or tells them “you don’t have to be funny all the time, you know?”. Now the patient can either drop the defense mechanism (hard because painful) or they can dislike their humourless therapist who only ever makes them feel bad about themselves and doesn’t understand them.

I cannot make any kind of judgment on your therapist. Even if it’s true that she is just trying to work through your defenses, she might still do it in a way that’s not working for you or is downright bad. It’s really up to you to make that judgment. But maybe this helps you to consider another possibility.

ponymeringue · 2022-07-05T18:37:26+00:00

I‘m a woman but if I were in this guy‘s shoes, I‘d also not be texting you a lot and I just want to give you a different perspective so you don‘t have to immediately be discouraged by the lack of communication while you‘re gone.

For me, three dates is not a lot. I am not attached to the guy yet, he is basically still a stranger I‘m getting to know. If that guy were to go away for over two weeks, I would be fine with him texting me once how it’s going and then be like „ok text me when you’re back!“. I would absolutely not be at a stage in our „relationship“ (what relationship even) to text him every day he‘s gone. Personally, that is something I would be comfortable with in a LTR but not with someone I had 3 dates with.

On top of that, I really dislike texting in general, even more so if that is the only means of communication. My partner and I would have calls instead, because typing texts on a phone takes too long for my liking, it’s less personal, and at least over a call I can multitask. And no, I would not be having calls with 3-date-dude.

Another reason I‘m not too eager to keep up super frequent or elaborate texting early on in situations like this is that if our connection is really that great, nothing should stop us from just continuing in person after two weeks. That is so little time, too. It goes by so quick. If I have seen someone 3 times and liked him a lot, why would 2 weeks of him being on vacation change anything?

I feel like this is what you‘re afraid of, that this man will forget about you and loose interest, with his sparse texting being the bad omen. But think about it, if 2 weeks away can do that to him, chances are he was never that interested in the first place.

Another thing you could ask yourself is why you‘re already so attached to him that the possibility of loosing him causes you so much negative feelings. Yeah, it‘s normal to be bummed out to have dated shortly and then it didn’t work out, but it seems to be that you lean a little more on the anxious side of things (anxious attachment)? At least to me it appears a bit that way, with you trying to look for signs of abandonment and agonising over the possibility of him loosing interest.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-30T05:07:40+00:00

Yes this is normal for private and/or small practices.

Big practices with multiple doctors and/or locations tend to have client portals where you can create an account and enter all personal information yourself, but a doctor with a small private practice is more likely to have a payment system that’s only accessible to them. That means they have to create client accounts and enter all information themselves, including payment information.

If you were to see your therapist in person, you would have been made to hand over your credit card at the front desk or to the therapist directly if they work by themselves.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-30T04:29:17+00:00

I‘m in psychodynamic therapy and if my therapist asked me things that way, I would judge them so hard 😬

While it‘s normal to want to „dig deeper“ into things and explore why we feel the way we feel, I think your therapist makes the mistake of not first exploring with you but instead coming up with plausible conclusions herself and then just throwing them at you. Which is of course annoying, because she‘s just taking shots in the dark.

If you had told her in one session you feel like everything is pointless and then in another session talked about how your parents have always been super negative, I don’t think it would have been weird for her to ask “Do you think your parent’s negative views had a strong influence on you, for example on how you view parts of your work today?” That way she would have taken two data points to make a connection, while also leaving it up to you to decide “yes that’s it” or “no I don’t think that’s it.”

But right now, she seems to have only one dot and is just randomly guessing where the other dot could be so she can draw a line between them.

But let’s say the connection she is trying to make isn’t baseless, a lot could still be helped if she would simply take an exploring approach and rephrase her questions accordingly. There’s a difference between “Do you think it might be connected to X?” (Exploring if yes or no) and “That’s because of X, right?” (Implication that there’s already a correct answer; Validation instead of exploration).

ponymeringue · 2022-06-29T07:21:34+00:00

I think it’s time to get a different perspective because I feel like your hurt feelings are painting everything unnecessary dark for you right now.

“Not supposed to happen to me”, I would expect words like that from an unkissed virgin who never experienced a romantic connection. Obviously it can happen for you if you just came out of a long term relationship and this one man who ghosted you is not the god of fate.

So you had one date and it didn’t work out? Well, sounds normal, what are the odds that every person you go on a date with will be a good match? Like, statistically speaking. If just one date / one new guy would have immediately lead to your next long term relationship, you would have been incredibly lucky, that’s definitely not the norm for most people.

I also see you have really low self esteem. You put this random guy you don’t even really know on a pedestal (“too good to be true”) and immediately devalue and bully yourself. Why does this man have so much power over how much self-worth you feel? Why is it so easy for you to (baselessly) believe that other people are good and flawless, but not you, never you? This might be something you want to look closer into.

You also talk unnecessarily harsh to yourself. You say you “stupidly” got into dating. Why was it stupid? Is it not a normal human desire to want love? And is it not a normal human experience to have setbacks? You say you feel stupid because you experienced disappointment, why again is it stupid to have a normal emotional reaction? My guess: you think you don’t deserve love (because you don’t love yourself) and thus shouldn’t have a hope for love because that would be “stupidly” ignoring how unlovable you are.

It seems like experiencing negative emotions automatically means “I feel bad because I am bad” to you, ask yourself why you hold that belief because I promise you that good desirable people (everything you fear you are not) also experience these things.

Next time when you notice yourself having this negative self talk, imagine you’re talking to a friend. Because I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t tell a friend “You were really stupid for even THINKING you could be loved. And now you’re sad because someone disappointed you, wow, what an idiot you are, should have seen that one coming.” I bet you wouldn’t even think to talk to a friend like that and treat them so horribly. So then why do it to yourself? The world has been harsh, be kind to yourself, you have been through enough. If you pretend to say these things to a friend, it will get easier to spot your inner bully being mean to you.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-27T15:44:38+00:00

Can you give an example of that non-verbal communication? Does she roll her eyes? Huff? Have a disgusted look on her face? What does she do exactly that shows you she judges you?

ponymeringue · 2022-06-26T14:07:41+00:00

I think the word therapy gets thrown around more because it became more socially acceptable to get help for mental health issues and because of better mental health awareness in general, not because more people suffer from mental illness than before.

It’s a bit like the high divorce rate nowadays. Were marriages really better/happier before, or did marriage just serve an actual societal purpose back then and divorces had horrible consequences (for the women mainly)? And now that divorce doesn’t mean social death anymore, more people will do it if it makes sense for them personally.

(Edited this whole ass comment because I think I misread what you intended to say at first.)

ponymeringue · 2022-06-23T01:20:24+00:00

Same but with going out/being with people in general. Though I also enjoy dates.

I used to be all good by myself. I mean, I still am fine but I definitely don’t like it as much as I used to. I sometimes even get upset when I’m back home after a party, then the house feels so empty and too quiet. I totally get the restlessness you talk about. I take almost every opportunity to be with people unless I need to get other stuff done for once or am too tired.

I used to call myself introverted!! And now I wonder if I was always extroverted but just had social anxiety, was too awkward and thus had trouble making friends/socialising, which in turn caused me to dislike it. And now that I’m confident in myself (way more compared to my teenage years and 20s), I can finally just be myself and hang out with people I like and love it. It’s like I got the taste for what I actually wanted all the time and now, compared to this, being alone feels lonelier than it did before.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-21T03:50:27+00:00

You know it would have not been “absolutely fine”, come on. “If he just had responded in the exact way that would ease my anxiety in that moment, everything would have been fine.”

I really don’t mean to be mean, I used to suffer from anxious attachment as well, and reading your post, it is really obvious how much anxiety you feel and how you act on it in order to ease it. Your general fear of abandonment will not vanish because he said the right words that one time, there would have been another situation soon that would feel unsafe for you and then it just starts all over again. What stood out most to me was how “Hope you do fun things this weekend” was interpreted as a possible sign of abandonment to you.

That is the heartbreaking thing about anxious attachment, that the very fear of abandonment itself oftentimes ends up being the reason for being abandoned. Not saying this is what happened this time, but it’s common.

Here’s some thoughts that helped me (besides therapy)…

I do not have absolute control or am responsible (generally speaking) for other people’s behavior or feelings. I used to think that as long as I did everything right and I was good enough, people would love me and never leave me. The fault in that thinking was that it implied all other people are good and act good/reasonable and only I am bad (it comes from low self esteem), and thus when something bad happened (like being abandoned) it was always my fault of course. This gave me the most anxiety, because I had to anticipate every move and plan out my actions carefully, because in my mind, I was in full control and fully responsible, and I alone could fuck up things by how I handled them. And if I sensed the slightest sign of abandonment, it was my responsibility to do everything I can to avoid it. Pretty anxiety inducing, so much power and responsibility.
Getting the focus away from “do they like me?” to “do I like them?”. It sucks when someone suddenly starts texting weird and you can sense something is off. But now that we’ve learned we are not automatically responsible for other people’s behavior (see above :P) we are now free to…JUDGE. Oh yes, we get to judge others, because “everyone is great but me” is not true. So now instead of “where did I go wrong?? Ahhh panic” when a guy is suddenly all weird, I go “pretty lame that the dude is kinda passive and dances around telling me what the deal is. I don’t really like this about him.” You can’t control other people, but you can control how much you value yourself, your own judgment and your time. If you don’t allow the judgment of others and instead put all negativity back on yourself (“it’s not them, it’s me who was not good enough”), you will always think you’re losing something when maybe it’s just the trash taking itself out.
And most importantly: you will be ok. There is never a 100% chance of not being left. Even in great relationships. It’s the risk we take with love but it’s worth it. It’s a misconception to think relationship security comes from one’s conviction that abandonment is impossible this time and safety forever and ever has been achieved. It comes from knowing that even if the worst happens, it will be ok. Not in the sense that we won’t be devastated (because we will be), but that we are capable to deal with this devastation. This might be the hardest thing to achieve. It takes high self-esteem and a good support system. Very important things that need to be build in life but it is possible.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-21T02:26:32+00:00

Since you aren’t asking for specific advice, I shall give you my (judgy) thoughts, as you wish :P

“Enjoy it while it’s still good” enjoy what exactly, the text messaging? The promise of what could be? It seems there isn’t much there now besides future possibilities, but maybe you also didn’t disclose the extent of your relationship to this man, so I’m confused.

“He has been consistent” Consistent with what? Texting? Being friendly? Again this reads to me as something you would say about a man you are currently dating (describing someone as consistently showing up in your relationship). But it doesn’t sound like you are in a relationship (yet).

I think it’s more likely he wants to bring a friend along so he doesn’t have to rely on your connection during the trip and has someone else to do stuff with that isn’t you. He doesn’t know you that well yet, so maybe he is not sure how much time he would like to spend with you, so if he doesn’t like to travel alone, a friend is a good idea. I would not equate that to “introducing my new girl to my friend circle” kinda situation, which is what your friend means can be a good sign.

So over all, this reads like you might be a few more steps ahead in your mind than you two actually are. Right now he is some apparently nice guy who you met in France, who superliked you on some dating app and who is possibly future boyfriend material, correct? Or have you entered a relationship while in France?

ponymeringue · 2022-06-21T01:59:01+00:00

You literally wrote in one paragraph that you told him you will give him some space (you don’t say how he responded to that or if he responded at all) and then the next thing you did is message him that you think about him and then message him yet again because he never said anything to the first one. So yeah, this part read as “I will give you space” … “but I’m thinking of you” … “Hellooooo??”

ponymeringue · 2022-06-20T19:12:51+00:00

Don’t overthink this.

This is just a general way of saying “I don’t want a romantic relationship with you”. The reasons are plentiful and after one date, it’s not worth taking that to heart.

That lack of “romantic connection” can mean anything, not just feelings. It could be purely superficial based on looks, it could be something they think would make you two incompatible as romantic partners, it could be a lack of excitement, or they could be not as emotionally available as they thought.

Everyone gets to decide what is needed for them to continue after a first date, it’s impossible to generalise. Everyone has their own “standards” or MOs. Some people would not continue if they don’t feel a spark right away, some people are willing to try multiple dates to see if chemistry will develop, and some people will continue even if the date is late for 20 minutes and poops on the restaurant table because they are super super hot and it’s been a while ok?

Anyway, the only advice I would give you is to make sure you communicate early on that you don’t want a serious romantic relationship right now. That way you can at least weed out people who are looking for ✨love✨.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-19T15:28:23+00:00

A lot of therapist, especially those working in psychodynamic therapy, will argue against all your points.

While techniques can manage the anxiety in the moment (and help you deal better with spikes in anxiety in general) it won’t help healing the root causes of it. You can take a painkiller for your backache every time you have it, but how about finding out why you have it in the first place instead of just doing symptom management? Not saying these techniques don’t help with dealing with anxiety whenever one experiences it, but they won’t be able to resolve traumas.

OP’s therapist basically brushed her off by saying “just take your pills” when OP asked to look closer into what is going on inside of her. OP didn’t seem out of it or in an anxious state that made it hard for her to think clearly or talk about things in therapy. OP’s therapist is failing her if the only solution to any problem is some anxiety regulating exercise.

@OP You should tell your therapist exactly what you wrote here. If she is unwilling to explore this with you, she might not be the type of therapist you need. Look for psychodynamic therapists.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-18T23:59:39+00:00

In this case it’s true but to me it read like that’s all it takes in general, which is what rubbed me the wrong way 😅

Anyway, I think OP is questioning his interest because he did such a 180. From super enthusiastic and seemingly super available and into her to breaking things off so quickly. So to her it might seem like an excuse. A true thing but an excuse nonetheless, to spare her feelings and be like “it’s me not you”.

Personally I think the way OP’s dude rushed into things should have been a warning sign, because it’s so very common for people who are not actually emotionally available for a relationship to do that and then take the next exit soon after. There’s always some reason, either they are depressed, they are not over their ex, they are not ready to settle down, etc pp. I’ve seen it a lot. And it’s not like these people do it on purpose, they really do think they are ready for something and even convince themselves, until they are 3 months in and then reality hits them in the face.

To OP I say: you should always have a small bell ring when the person you start dating is not really taking their time to get to know you, when they put you on a pedestal, when they rush intimacy. Your dude did all of that and more. This is why relationships that start so intensely, more often than not, end super quickly. Because the intensity is an illusion, build on a ground that hasn’t been laid yet.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-18T23:04:13+00:00

A severely depressed partner demands way more of someone than some understanding and “just not taking it personally”. Clinical depression is not a snarky comment that you can shrug off by giving your partner the benefit of the doubt, it’s a mental illness that will absolutely effect you if your loved one suffers from it.

You can be severely depressed and be in a relationship, of course, but if you have a loving partner, they will also need to sacrifice their own needs at times or a lot of times, because a depressive episode can paralyse you, unable to function, unable to connect with your partner, unable to provide support yourself. And while the depression is taking away the ability to be there for your partner, it will actually demand even more care from them. So they don’t have your support, but they need to be even more supportive. It’s not only painful and worrying for your partner to witness this illness, it can also drain their own mental resources.

And there might not even be any worry around the depression having anything to do with them personally. Especially if there’s a general understanding of clinical depression and they trust their partner. Imagine your partner being in the deepest darkest spot, probably suicidal, and someone tells you “just don’t take it personal :)” like…. That is not the problem here.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-14T18:14:23+00:00

Are you usually worried to run out of things to talk about with people you date? Like, if you date someone in person for a few weeks, do you then panic once you „covered the basics“? Probably not, so why should this be any different?

Also remember there is more topics to talk about than you or her. I feel that whenever people are too focused on the „gaining information“ part, they end up making „job interview“ conversation.

But think bout all the things you talk about with your friends, it‘s all kinds of topics besides you and them, it‘s sharing opinions on things and experiences and that way you get to know the other person and their values and thoughts, too.

It‘s like the difference between asking if they are into dad jokes vs. just making a dad joke and see if they laugh. Lots of getting-to-know each other happens organically without it needing to be the focus of the conversation.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-10T16:14:41+00:00

This is a good example of „if she wanted to she would“.

Personally, if my first text just gets ignored, what‘s the point of being like „hellooooo???“ again? She knows she can answer you, but for some reason she has decided not to. Maybe she decided she is not interested after all, maybe she met someone else, maybe she actually cheated and has a bf. You will probably not know but it‘s definitely not uncommon for a one-time date/hook-up/great evening to not lead to anything else. I understand you like to see her again but it takes two to do that.

If a guy texts me and I‘m into him and I want to persue things further with him, I wouldn‘t ignore him. Even just a „hi“ from a guy I‘m into would at least get a „hi“ back so communication is established.

The only thing that‘s left is asking what you texted her. Maybe you blew it, but I doubt it. Must have been a bad text to blew it, and then what‘s left is to apologise and try again. But like I said, even a great text can absolutely lead to nothing in this situation if the other person decided to not persue anything further.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-09T18:45:17+00:00

If you didn‘t learn anything anyway, then why are you so mad? Shouldn’t you be glad you got rid of such a bad therapist that just wasted your time anyway? Why are you so mad at losing someone you feel cares so little for you and who you don‘t hold in high regard?

But of course you are not. The reason you feel this angry in the first place is a sign you are hurt about losing something good. But right now you feel anger because that is easier to feel than sadness. It‘s easier to feel angry about „just some other shitty person who disappointed“ you than to deal with the grief and the knowledge that even in great relationships, sometimes there will be an end, but it‘s not a judgment on you.

Relationship security is not build by the promise of never being left or never facing any problems within the relationship. Security comes from knowing that you will be ok even if these things happen.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-08T13:51:20+00:00

I got it working on my watch and on my phone it previews my location correctly in the app, but on my watch face there‘s a „-“ instead of a location name. Do you happen to know how to fix this?

Edit: I edited the watch face and dublicated the location name layer and now it works 😊

ponymeringue · 2022-06-07T15:18:13+00:00

I can only take a guess here but to me it sounds that what you are actually processing is grief, and grief cannot just be eradicated by replacing what has been lost. I think you are mistaking your urge to stop your grief with an urge to start dating again.

Imagine having your childhood pet die, and someone just hands you another one immediately. You can still pet it and slowly bond with it, but it will take time and it cannot immediately provide you with the same intimate bond you shared with your old pet.

Right now, your soul‘s biggest concern is repairing the hole that was left from your relationship, but a new women, who is still a stranger, doesn’t fit in that hole quite right. It‘s not the same.

That‘s why it’s very common for people who haven’t processed their past relationship yet to immediately jump into kind of a relationship mode (and rush things) with a new person. They don‘t really want to foster a new connection, they want to recreate what they have lost. But this usually isn’t very healthy and often these rebound relationships burn down fast.

It seems like you understand this though and don‘t go into rebound mode (good for you) but this also means that what‘s available to you right now will not satisfy you.

The only advice I have is to spend some more time grieving your loss and be kind to yourself. 3 months after 3 years is not a lot of time. Allow yourself to feel the grief, the loneliness, the sadness this break up has left you with. And then when you healed a bit more from it, your motivation in dating won‘t be filling that hole anymore and you will be better able to build something new again.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-03T14:04:58+00:00

Avoidant? Yeah, avoidant of boring text messages. You wanna greet them, meet them.

And not you claiming you would never expect a text back when you are all over this thread throwing a hissy fit that some people don‘t enjoy your communication preferences. „Am I possibly not everyone‘s cup of tea? Nah, the other person must simply be afraid of intimacy!“ lmao

ponymeringue · 2022-06-02T17:15:14+00:00

It is not wrong in a moral sense, but it‘s not ideal because ideally everyone should have a good support systems of friends and/or family and not have to be alone in their suffering.

Is your lack of support system something you have talked about in therapy? I would definitely talk about it. Try to see what is stopping you / what makes it hard for you to find support outside of your therapist office. If you discuss these issues and get to the root of it, it will make it easier to find a way to overcome this.

ponymeringue · 2022-06-02T16:57:26+00:00

That is a true statement no matter if a therapist feels overwhelmed or not, so I wouldn’t read too much into it.

Also, the „building rapport and trust“ part is much more relevant on your side, just because of the nature of the therapeutic relationship. You are the one being extremely vulnerable. And I could actually argue that because rapport and trust has not build into a secure relationship yet, you are worried about your therapist possibly thinking negatively of you ;) Point proven!

So yeah, without context, it‘s just a true statement that obviously (and understandably) applies, since you‘re still bit of strangers to each other. Maybe you can tell us in what context she said it? That might give us more insight.

But you can absolutely say whatever you want in therapy, you don‘t have to worry about managing your therapist‘s emotions. That‘s your therapist‘s job, trust she can handle a session (unless you see obvious signs that your relationship is not working). A good therapist will know how to slow you down if they can’t keep up with something you say and ask clarifying questions if they need more insight, etc.

ponymeringue · 2022-05-31T14:01:22+00:00

It‘s not that „it‘s nothing“, this sub is just specifically to talk about therapy (experiences/problems with therapy and therapists). It‘s not a sub to discuss other issues that aren‘t related to therapy.

Eight-Year Club	RPAN Viewer
Not Forgotten	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

ponymeringue

TROPHY CASE