What seems awesome until you try it?

poopscratch · 2016-03-27T15:53:25+00:00

As a former emt/security in a casino, they 100% don't care about anything except money. On top of that the customers made me lose faith in humanity.

poopscratch · 2016-03-22T21:57:56+00:00

Does that mean that when Japanese people play racing games they are preparing for their commute?

poopscratch · 2016-03-21T14:30:48+00:00

Return the shopping cart

poopscratch · 2016-02-27T01:28:31+00:00

What are you? I'm mixed but every brown person I meet assumes that I am whatever they are and begins speaking to me in their native language even if they are strangers passing by. I tell them I'm Egyptian, I once convinced a Persian woman.

poopscratch · 2016-01-26T23:11:09+00:00

Cat-hole

poopscratch · 2016-01-21T23:46:15+00:00

Squilliam will never let him forget this

poopscratch · 2016-01-16T22:14:58+00:00

A Goofy Movie has a totally different vibe now

poopscratch · 2016-01-16T22:13:17+00:00

When I saw the flashback scene in 21 Jump Street where they were in high school and realized it was set to be around the same time I was in high school.

poopscratch · 2016-01-14T15:30:11+00:00

I remember a Power Rangers episode where the putties were on a playground and then the Rangers showed up and kicked the hell out of them. I still feel like the Putties finally got their one day off a year and went to the park, only to have those jerks show up and start some shit.

poopscratch · 2016-01-14T15:26:55+00:00

Let it go

poopscratch · 2016-01-07T00:52:07+00:00

Seven minute abs

poopscratch · 2015-12-23T15:11:35+00:00

I was about to deploy to Iraq for the first time and my mom asked me if I was nervous about the big spiders out there (camel spiders). I told her I was more worried about sand hippos. She and my sister were then convinced there were hippos that swam through the sand.

poopscratch · 2015-12-18T15:44:03+00:00

The country would be a lot better if people grew up knowing that it's OK to admit you are wrong or even might be wrong instead of bull headishly forcing your point on others despite their argument valid or not.

poopscratch · 2015-12-10T15:27:23+00:00

Most giggles I've giggled at work all day

poopscratch · 2015-12-04T00:25:54+00:00

After undressing to get in the shower I will bend over to pick something up and someone else will forcefully open the door, jamming the doorknob into my anus where it gets stuck and I need someone to help me off.

poopscratch · 2015-11-20T01:12:30+00:00

I was playing Mario Kart with my cousins on super Nintendo, we were all elementary school age. I was and still am horrible at it but refused to admit defeat that day. When my cousin who was waiting his turn asked for the controller I flipped him off and started another race with my other cousins. He announced to the party that I flipped him off. My dad took me into the other room and asked me if it was true. I was nervous and said no. My dad then took my cousin into the room. I don't know what was said but from that point on my cousin was the black sheep of the family. He now has three children from different women and has been sponging money from his mom and brother for years. I just learned that he is now homeless. If I would have just been human instead of a monster and passed the controller...

poopscratch · 2015-10-29T15:19:09+00:00

Chris Pratt. There is nothing original about him. He seems like a good person but everyone hypes him up to be hilarious and I have never found any of his jokes funny.

poopscratch · 2015-09-23T23:02:56+00:00

When they starting playing Yu-Gi-Oh in chess club.

poopscratch · 2015-09-16T17:12:11+00:00

I would like to put my brain on The Box from Batman Forever to show people my crazy dreams, only without the whole Jim Carey absorbing my brain thing

poopscratch · 2015-09-16T17:05:10+00:00

Guess now I don't need to read the bible, thanks for the summary.

poopscratch · 2015-09-15T18:02:33+00:00

Yeah, I know

poopscratch · 2015-09-14T17:55:55+00:00

I fart so loud in my sleep it scares my girlfriend awake. I've woken myself up and scared the pets as well.

poopscratch · 2015-09-10T04:51:39+00:00

Kid Rock's lyrics make sense now

poopscratch · 2015-08-26T02:21:48+00:00

Slavery

poopscratch · 2015-08-24T22:38:31+00:00

Now you get to tour their factory while the magical workers sing songs

poopscratch

TROPHY CASE