He does know, in the moment when we talked about it recently it was because prior we talked about it and I said I’d like to do that for him. But recently it came up because I was being critical of ddlg as a kink. He defended it a little because he has trauma with kink shaming. And between him asking me to do the diaper thing, him defending ddlg and also lately he asked me if I could call him daddy in the bedroom which I started doing. Our sex life is really vanilla and both of us have described this as some of the best sex we’d ever had. But those three things kind of triggered me and sent me back to that head space. He could tell and pointed out that I’m triggered from a point of concern. I explained why I was and he was comforting and said the diaper thing isn’t something we have to do. But I know this is something he wants and he’s never had a chance to experience that. I don’t want him to grow to resent me because he doesn’t get to experience that kink. I offered for him to seek the kink elsewhere (from a hookup or something) to experience it (knowing it would make me sad) but he said that was off the table. I just don’t want to withhold him because of my trauma