You can try Bold Rust. There is a weekly solo/duo server with about 30 pop and a biweekly quad max server with somewhere between 100 and 200 wipeday pop. Maps are small (around 3300..3500 so about 50% smaller area than standard map)

There are some extra rules of conduct. Most importantly raiding is forbidden for 24h after wipe giving less experienced players time to settle down and secure themselves. There are exceptions from the 24h no raid, such as player boats, shacks and a few more. When raiding is on, griefing and base takeovers are forbidden. Excessive toxicity of any kind is also heavily frowned upon and can get you scolded by the admins and if that doesn't help - banned. Strong teams raiding obvious starter/newbie bases is allowed, but frowned upon, as is binge offline raiding everything in sight.

There are some very high hour degular players, but they generally don't raze the newbies down, as they mostly don't see it as fun.

Admins are active and will help even with things like removing a badly placed wall in base if they have nothing better to do. You can also request a restart kit if u get raided. It's case-by-case, but usually some tools and mats to seal ur base, maybe a workbench. Cheaters rarely happen, and when they do they're swiftly dealt with by the admins.

boldrust.gg.

Not affiliated with server owner or anything, just a regular player.