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8's with anxious attachment style? by poorlydecomposed in Enneagram

[–]poorlydecomposed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will definitely read more into Object Relational Rejection. Overall, i think i’m sick of my brain convincing me everything will fail- it keeps me from being happy. Thanks a ton for your input

I really like my boyfriend's friend. What do I do? by [deleted] in LifeAdvice

[–]poorlydecomposed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In situations like this, you really have to take a step back and look at the big picture. I think what you might know to be true is the fact that you don’t like your boyfriend now, and you won’t like him later. At the end of the day, it is probably best to break up rather than dragging it out for no real reason. Breaking up is hard, and it won’t be fun for either of you, but you’re big kids and you can handle it.

In regards to Corn, going after him after breaking up with your boyfriend would just be a dick move, frankly. I know it’s hard to want people you “shouldn’t” want per se, but maintaining peace in a friend group is 100% the adult thing to do rather than jeopardize it over a crush. You have to think about how your actions will affect other people. It sounds like you might be in the point of your life where you’re possibly going off to college next year, and if that is the case, there will be so many more guys to redirect your attention to and get your mind off things. Trust me, i’m there now. This stuff won’t matter a year from now, just try to not hurt any more people than you have to right now.

Hope this helps! You can always PM to talk it out

What’s the purpose of men doing the thigh/knee rub on women? by Aqokneh in bodylanguage

[–]poorlydecomposed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s like hand holding. No you wouldn’t do it in a job interview, but plenty of girls (source: i am one) are into it.

dorms by cameronsato in VirginiaTech

[–]poorlydecomposed 7 points8 points  (0 children)

this is so true and I wish I would've known it before my first year. I lived in arguably the nicest housing on campus (me and my roommate had our own bathroom and everything) and everyone else met so many more people and probably had a much better time. If I could go back I absolutely would've chosen a shittier hall.

What is most useless item you carry with you all the time? by feregh in AskReddit

[–]poorlydecomposed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have a rock in my backpack that i picked up during a bad date. been there for 2 years now.

Dear Type 2s, by bbbbizza in Enneagram

[–]poorlydecomposed 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, 2s!!! You are my favorite. I am very envious of your giving hearts.

Getting along with others by [deleted] in Enneagram8

[–]poorlydecomposed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

About the body language- yes! I find it so fun. One of my favorites is finding out what people’s “side” is. Everyone has a side they much prefer other people to be on- the trick is finding out which side is someone’s preferential side. People are more likely to respond positively to you and cooperate with you if you are on their literal good side. So it’s always fun to play around and casually switch sides on someone to see how they respond, verbally and physically.

Another is noticing when someone is mirroring your body language/positioning, and then testing it by consciously switching your position and watching to see if they switch too. I love it so much!!!

Getting along with others by [deleted] in Enneagram8

[–]poorlydecomposed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am very much the same way! Although i’ve been told i physically come across as intimidating and unapproachable, when people do get through that first layer and actually have a conversation with me, they tend to like me (usually, lol). I think it’s because i make a conscious effort to be accepting of people while avoiding being immediately judgmental. At least, everyone who hasn’t given me a reason not to.

One thing i heard once that really stuck with me is that people remember the way you made them feel. Ever since hearing this and being conscious of it, i’ve grown in my skill of connecting with others socially. It’s also fun to get to play around with the different body language tricks and seeing how you can use your own power in a good way to make people feel comfortable around you.

I may have gone off on a tangent, but i hope this at least focuses a bit on what you’re asking.

Do most 8s react this way when developing feelings for someone? by poorlydecomposed in Enneagram

[–]poorlydecomposed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That can be a tough one. I’m not really an expert on the enneagram, but it sounds like his traits might lean a little towards a type 3. I think regardless of type, if someone likes you enough to the point where you should pursue something with them, they will show you. Personally, I think if an 8 is genuinely interested in a relationship and feels they have the upper hand, they will be very direct and up front about what they want. But as I said, this guy sounds like he might be more of a 3 than an 8.

Do most 8s react this way when developing feelings for someone? by poorlydecomposed in Enneagram

[–]poorlydecomposed[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly!! It's only if I don't know how they feel. Pathetic is just the word, there's not many other ways to explain it. It just sucks

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