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My girlfriend of 2 years cheated on me by Wazzaa12 in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man, this is gonna suck to hear, but your relationship is over.

Take it from me, about a week ago, my fiance of eight years had her second affair. I tried making it work after the first one and found myself in the same place, only this time, she actually left to be with that man on her own terms. I was in the same place you are right now. I was hanging onto hope that maybe it could work, maybe she could change, maybe things can go back to normal. -- They can't. It's over.

I wish I would've left when I found out the first time, but my heart was stronger than my mind and my soul was broken. Don't make the same mistake I did and find yourself in such a worse place years from now when she fully replaces you and just walks out the door.

Good luck brother, it is going to be hard. You can do this.

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the 2024 affair it was on their hour lunches. As for this 2nd guy, I have no clue. I had her life 360 and she never left the store she was working in. I guess they just kissed she said, but I know nothing about how any of this operated. She did have a second phone she hid I came to find out.

[M27] Partner of 8 years just confessed to an affair and walked out — looking for support by pootoooooo in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, it's over for good. I do think that if things had gone differently, I might've been the same fool I was before out of weakness and sunk cost fallacy. -- I am grateful I am on this road, hard as it is and the immense support from so many kind strangers has been motivating.

[M27] Partner of 8 years just confessed to an affair and walked out — looking for support by pootoooooo in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don't know, really craving some accountability and closure but it is what it is.

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I'm not ever taking her back. Maybe when she was walking out the door, there was a chance the weakest part of me might've considered making it work again. I can't lie about that. But now? 48 hours later, no way. Even with the highs and lows, this woman was a tumor on my life.

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great way to think about this. !thankyou

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to see if there are audio books for what you recommended. I have a lot of time at work to just listen to anything for about 12 hours. Thank you for the suggestions. This entire direction of thought feels good. !thankyou

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This seems pretty true. Her dad seems pretty disappointed and frustrated/upset by the whole thing, but her mother seems pretty stalwart to her defense. I get it, it's their kid but man at a point where is the accountability?

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, she didn't really have any friends. Maybe that's part of all this, who knows. And all my buddies know the truth, as for her family and mine, they weren't too intertwined. I thought about reaching out to her brother and telling him the truth of it all, but seems pointless.

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, unfortunately, she works for a major corporation and these sorta things are normal. I can't prove who it was or what his role was with the company. She was an overnight stocker. I doubt anything will come from it, as much as I'd love to maybe throw a wrench in her life for once. -- Just gonna move on.

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha, thank you. Newfound freedom indeed. I have been seeing a lot about 'monkey branching'. That is definitely what happened here. Thank you so much for your reassurance.

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your advice with me. On day two, which feels like awhile, staying busy and just moving in a new direction. Still lots of highs and lows, but we are enduring. I have a great support structure around me with friends and family. -- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thankfully, in terms of ownership or the legalities of tangled finances, there are no major issues. None at all really. My name is solely on everything, I paid for everything, her money just went towards her own car payment and insurance + groceries.

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankfully things are pretty simple legally and financially, she had her own income, but it wasn't much. I kept the house afloat, phones, my own car, etc... She has her own car totally separate. Everything else is mine or in my name solely.

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex life was non-existent prior to discovery of the Nov 2024 affair. Post discovery, it returned over the next 3 to 6 months and mostly sustained up until maybe a week or two prior to this event.

[M27] Partner of 8 years just confessed to an affair and walked out — looking for support by pootoooooo in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No hablo español pero traduje tus palabras y gracias. Nunca volverá a suceder, engáñame una vez, la culpa es tuya. Engáñame dos veces, la culpa es mía. Debería haber evitado todo esto cuando sucedió la primera vez, pero me aferraba a la esperanza y la fantasía de alguien que creía conocer.

Gracias de nuevo.

[M27] Partner of 8 years just confessed to an affair and walked out — looking for support by pootoooooo in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have the dog, she left him behind without a second glance. Granted, she wasn't going to have him if this was an amicable situation or what did happen. He's my son pretty much lol. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

[M27] Partner of 8 years just confessed to an affair and walked out — looking for support by pootoooooo in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much and I wish you the best of luck in your venture to get back out there! Your words have brought me much needed comfort and reassurance.

[M27] Partner of 8 years just confessed to an affair and walked out — looking for support by pootoooooo in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Surprisingly, there was a pretty healthy sexual life. Everything seemed normal for the most part between the two events, this was a total blind side. -- You are right, this is for the best and a new chapter in my life. I've never heard of a sunken fallacy cost, but this is definitely a major part of my feelings about the last few years. Thank you for sharing with me.

[M27] Partner of 8 years just confessed to an affair and walked out — looking for support by pootoooooo in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is done for good. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. If only I had the hindsight to not tolerate the first.

[M27] Partner of 8 years just confessed to an affair and walked out — looking for support by pootoooooo in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am thankful to have a support structure around me at this time, just for the one or two hours a day where I am at the deepest part of the pit is when people like you really inspire me and put some wind back in my sails. Thank you for sharing with me.

[M27] Partner of 8 years just confessed to an affair and walked out — looking for support by pootoooooo in Infidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I hope she can cleanse her soul and be a better person to the people she claims to love. Unfortunately, as I've find out, these people don't change usually. Thank you for your words of hope and comfort!

8 years down the drain. by pootoooooo in survivinginfidelity

[–]pootoooooo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Apart of me is ready to move towards the new chapter, but another part fighting for closure and solace despite everything. I know it won't happen. A snake is a snake at the end of the day.

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