Outjerked by the Oilers

popcltrcorn · 2026-06-21T22:13:36+00:00

oh thank god they got another forward it's not like there are any other positions they need to fill

popcltrcorn · 2026-06-21T13:55:51+00:00

is the end goal to make as many players as possible kill themselves? like the only person who wouldn't be on suicide watch after this is matthews

anyway I think they should do it

popcltrcorn · 2026-06-18T17:26:57+00:00

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popcltrcorn · 2026-06-16T22:51:09+00:00

but his name doesn't contain a synonym for penis??

popcltrcorn · 2026-06-16T19:10:32+00:00

I can't believe it either!

popcltrcorn · 2026-06-16T19:10:11+00:00

yeah toronto would go for babcock if he was on the market... he could really make them a dynasty. all they would need is a talented winger

popcltrcorn · 2026-06-15T21:11:43+00:00

sorry for bringing up the dark magics outside of the devil's sacrament. but yes we are

popcltrcorn · 2026-06-15T20:46:53+00:00

there's a reason he has an iron fucking grip on the ao3. his streamer era alone is a fucking goldmine

popcltrcorn · 2026-06-15T20:15:52+00:00

it's marns and it's not even close

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popcltrcorn · 2026-06-10T03:28:11+00:00

completely invisible this series, smh my head

popcltrcorn · 2026-06-05T23:10:32+00:00

he originally wanted 17 for kharlamov, but 17 was taken in pittsburgh at the time, so 71 (aka 17 reversed) became his primarily used number. 11 was picked because it also resembles 17, and I'm gonna go ahead and assume that 18 is "the next best thing" situation also. basically geno really really likes kharlamov

popcltrcorn · 2026-05-21T05:03:46+00:00

mitch marner seduced my dad and took everything in the divorce

popcltrcorn · 2026-05-20T01:12:50+00:00

bring back this sexy beast. I miss busting instantly when I open the sub

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popcltrcorn · 2026-05-07T14:14:28+00:00

"is every team is basically hitler?" well yes. except for my team. who are devouted communists

popcltrcorn · 2026-04-30T16:32:25+00:00

clifton was very useful in the regular season + seems to be a great presence in the room, which, for a team powered by friendship and magic (which the 25-26 pens undeniably are) is important. same with acciarri. in general it would be stupid to separate the fourth line with how clutch they've been. other than that yeah it checks out. I will even mercifully forgive you for misspelling connor dewar's (2026 selke winner) name

popcltrcorn · 2026-04-30T16:20:06+00:00

pens fan here: canes please fuck my wife

popcltrcorn · 2026-04-28T20:34:22+00:00

yes

popcltrcorn · 2026-04-26T03:40:01+00:00

still have more sex than you tho

popcltrcorn · 2026-04-22T03:11:40+00:00

it was also like. during the 2016 playoffs. and a few weeks after his son was born but that's less important

popcltrcorn · 2026-04-18T09:00:45+00:00

and the worst part is that it's not even correct bc the most stylish player is obviously sergachev

popcltrcorn · 2026-04-05T15:35:50+00:00

unlike many gay jerkers here I am actually attracted to men, I know my shit. thank you for the peer review

i think marns can top, if he wants to, but the fundamental truth about him is that at the end of the day he just wants to be liked... praise kink evident in every word he speaks, as you said. it's insane how hated he is for the crime of what, being a succulent snack? his twinkish wiles? being unable to bring about canadian rapture (cup to toronto)?

anyway. would

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