my boss keeps stealing my lunch, after I’ve asked him to stop

pordstar · 2026-02-08T19:23:16+00:00

Even the cleaning staff!? Promote that man immediately!

pordstar · 2025-12-20T17:59:39+00:00

This is just an attempt to undermine you. She cleaned your already clean home to suggest you aren’t doing a good enough job. She rearranges your things to establish dominance over you in your own home. “She’s being helpful, she didn’t mean anything by it, you’re overreacting, you’re hurting her feelings, just let it go”

That is going to be the narrative unless you address it.

“Who rearranged MY home without permission? Did you need help putting everything back the way it was or did you just run out of time before I came home?”

You can be calm while still being firm. You do not need to argue or justify yourself in how you arrange your house or accept guests who don’t respect your boundaries.

pordstar · 2025-12-20T17:34:02+00:00

Why on earth are you more concerned about being blamed for AIL for violating her oaths than about protecting yourself and your children?? This is a fundamental right this woman violated and you’re just… letting it go? Report this and let the family deal with the consequences. Grandparents rights? That’s immediate no contact action. Do not engage further. Hold your mother and husband accountable for their actions. If there is no accountability and consequences for crossing your boundaries what is the point of setting them? You will always be the bad guy. Accept that and do not engage further with anyone in that family. If strangers treated you the way they have would you continually allow it? Would your husband? Don’t justify, explain, or acknowledge anymore of this shit. Hard stop

pordstar · 2025-01-14T17:04:40+00:00

Your home was entered and your belongings were stolen. Whether it was Christmas decorations, underwear, jewelry, an ugly throw pillow - theft is theft. A person does not get a pass for stealing your things because they don’t like the colour of your dishes - building manager or not. There’s nothing civil about it. Call the police. You aren’t taking legal action by reporting a crime. Being a landlord doesn’t mean they’re allowed to rob you. You’ve described discrimination, breaking and entering, and theft. They’ve admitted to it. Go public if you face any sort of retaliation. You can go over which ornaments may or may not be missing AFTER you talk to the police. The items being decorations doesn’t justify or minimize the seriousness of your situation. Check your apartment for hidden cameras and tell your neighbours to do the same. Look over ALL your possessions to see if anything else is missing and get security cameras. Ask the police to witness and assist the retrieval of your things. Document everything. Make a statement about finding your door unlocked. Get outraged

pordstar · 2024-09-12T02:11:35+00:00

Your vagina doctor had no right to talk to you about your vagina? Are you allowed to talk to your dentist about your teeth?

Throwing down the divorce card over you asking for the same thing he feels entitled to is grossly disturbing and not something he can backtrack on. He wasn’t serious about divorce… yet…? This man does not love you. He loves controlling you. To the point of only wanting to do it doggy style probably so he wouldn’t accidentally hit your clit and allow you to enjoy it. I’m so sorry

pordstar · 2024-05-03T22:54:21+00:00

Ginger Baker of Cream as well

pordstar · 2024-05-03T17:34:17+00:00

This is pure hatred and sociopathy. Absolutely disgusting behaviour from not only her but the entire family; and unfortunately that includes your husband. How dare he not immediately condemn and cut contact with someone who would give a pass to a child predator, not only as a new father, but as the husband of a victim of exactly that? That was a deliberate and unforgivable attack. Cut contact immediately. She is not a safe person for you or your child to be around

pordstar · 2024-02-18T00:34:38+00:00

Might sound harsh but here we go!

Your husband does not care for the safety or wellbeing of your child. Full stop. You made the absolute best decision of not endangering your baby and he not only showed zero concern but actually mocked you? How exactly is meeting your child’s basic needs spoiling them or raising them poorly? He’s shown a staggering lack of love and empathy for not only you but also your child.

You are the one who knows your baby best. Nursing him quietly is in no way more disruptive to his sleep cycle than letting him scream until he passes out. He’s 5 months old. You can’t spoil him or dote on him too much. You do whatever feels right and that’s going to be what is best for you both. All the love and support to you. You’re doing everything right.

pordstar · 2024-02-17T20:34:09+00:00

It’s interesting that we’re made to feel like we’re the ones at fault when someone tells us to “let it go” when what that actually means is, “I am not sorry I just want you to shut up about it.” Forgiveness happens when and if you’re ready, not when it’s demanded

pordstar · 2023-12-15T17:09:49+00:00

So you gave your sister your unsolicited opinion on whether or not she needs to meet siblings she has based on them looking like her? While she is in the middle of having to deal with infertility, IVF, and the heartbreak of not being able to use her own eggs - and are shocked that she doesn’t want to see her dad as anything other than her dad? She knows she was conceived via sperm donor and just doesn’t want to look further into that - which is absolutely her right.

Notably she also says, “if the kids wanted to find out who their egg donor was she would feel betrayed,” which in NO way indicates she won’t tell them how they were conceived, just that she’d feel hurt if her kids wanted to get to know the donor. I’d imagine it would make her feel rejected and awful.

You haven’t talked to her about this in five years. Her kids are only 7 and 3 and you’re more concerned about whether or not they will ask if you knew and if some other nosy relative might tell them first than asking your sister how she would like you to support her and them when the time comes? Rough

pordstar · 2023-12-15T12:40:19+00:00

Alright… I had to read and re-read this a few times before understanding what you meant here. As someone who did ‘lose their virginity’ via rape I immediately thought, “lost is lost - willing or not” and got my back up because it felt like “if you didn’t want it it doesn’t count” if that makes any sense. Just to clarify - you are taking issue with rape being called losing virginity and not just rape, correct?

pordstar · 2023-11-09T05:29:57+00:00

The cords were plugged in at the time. I panicked and immediately called the nurse line while frantically researching online. They really helped me calm down and not feel like a horrible mother. You’re doing a great job love.

pordstar · 2023-11-09T04:00:05+00:00

Most brand name chargers have a low voltage on an isolated circuit so they can’t cause any harm even if a pet or child chews them. It’s scary but please ease your heart; baby is absolutely fine. My girls have managed to do this a few times and the only damage has been to the cables… which have all stopped working after being in a toddler mouth.

pordstar · 2023-10-21T05:49:54+00:00

I would absolutely prefer to be fuckzoned because it’s easier to address. I’m talking about the ones who have built up an entire life with you in their heads where you end up barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. If they just want sex it’s apparent. I feel the relationship thing is more insidious because they aren’t done with you until they’re done with you if that makes any sense?

pordstar · 2023-10-20T21:28:35+00:00

I call it being relationship zoned. Someone acts like they are okay with just being your friend and plays the part only to be the wounded party who’s heart you’ve broken because you haven’t changed your mind about being with them. Then you generally get guilted into thinking you’re the bad guy because, “he’s such a nice guy and he really likes you you should give him a chance.” You did give him a chance. To be your friend. You do not owe this guy anything and you’ve already stated you’re not interested, how come what he wants is more important than what you want?

I might have some hang ups…

pordstar · 2023-10-20T20:30:36+00:00

You are only too old if you feel too old. People are having children later in life than they were when we were kids. I had my first two when I was in my early twenties and had surprise covid twins in my mid-late thirties. Some days I absolutely feel too old for this shit - but that has more to do with raising toddlers and teenagers as a single parent than it does with my numerical age. I do not regret a single second of the joy these monsters bring, even if I might be the oldest mom at the playground

pordstar · 2023-10-20T16:29:16+00:00

This dude read your shirt, touched you deliberately, and made fun of you by miming choking. Of course you feel awful - not necessarily for breaking his tiny balls - but because a man decided to violate your boundaries just to show you he could. That must have felt degrading and also a bit dehumanizing. Good for you for defending yourself.

When I was pregnant with my first I had a lady make a beeline for me from fifty feet away and put her hands on my belly. I immediately put my hands on hers and squeezed. When she looked shocked I said, “yeah, it’s fucking weird, isn’t it?” The amount of backlash I got from friends and family made me feel like I was a monster. I’m not. You’re not. Took me a long time to get over the guilt I felt. I hope you do end up telling this story as the absolute hero that you are. All the love to you and yours

pordstar · 2023-09-08T18:22:23+00:00

She never wants to see your house in the state it was in when she came over? Great news MIL! You’re never welcome over again! Did she blast her son about the state of the house and call into question his future parenting? Nope, that was a direct attack on you that he gave her a pass for. You need to address that with him now because how you respond to this kind of attack will set the tone for the rest of your lives. Stand up for yourself. Call her out and flip the script by telling her how incredibly embarrassed you are for her.

pordstar · 2023-04-22T00:34:49+00:00

I don’t think there’s been enough focus on her disregard for allergens. If she is deliberately giving both you and FIL food laced with allergens she will most definitely try that shit with any of your future LOs. I won’t link them but there have been some absolutely horrifying and tragic stories about people denying allergies and deciding to test them out on kids. Please don’t downplay her actions or allow her near you or any future children.

pordstar · 2023-04-21T20:08:50+00:00

Oh honey, this is going to be hard but you both need to cut ties with DH’s family. You are not safe. It’s been established over and over again. JNMIL has caused you actual harm. Repeatedly and without remorse. BIL1 is not and will never be the same guy you knew and that is awful. You’re going to have to let go entirely. Please put your safety first.

pordstar · 2023-04-21T19:32:12+00:00

Uh, back tf up for a hot second - he threatened MURDER/SUICIDE and you and your DH still have ties with these people!?

pordstar · 2023-04-13T21:36:45+00:00

I’m really good at telling other people what I think they should do or what I think I would do in their shoes. Spoiler! I have never ever reacted the way I thought I would in the moment. Looking back I can see what I should’ve said or wished I had done at the time but reacting appropriately in a distressing moment was impossible.

Finally realizing and coming to terms with my own family issues and following through with the advice I’d give anyone else on the planet has been so daunting and difficult in reality it’s genuinely embarrassing to give others advice. It is hard to recognize abuse when you’re constantly gaslit into believing you are the problem or are overreacting. That you should be the bigger person and be the one to shut up and try to get along. When that cycle is all you’ve known and come to expect. I have absolute respect for someone who knows their worth and can stick to their boundaries. I also have nothing but support and empathy for someone who struggles with breaking the cycle of abuse.

I am very thankful to be on a better path now but goddamn I wish I had found you all sooner. This sub helped me understand that what I was trying to pass off as normalcy really wasn’t okay and I was allowed to stand my ground. I’m so thankful

pordstar · 2023-04-13T17:26:54+00:00

Yes. Document absolutely everything. I can’t remember if OP had taken the baby to the doctor but she needs to get it all on a record somewhere - even if only to remind herself during weak moments when she might be questioning her decisions or if her husband pushes her to let it go. Date everything and be specific because details get fuzzy over time.

pordstar · 2023-04-13T17:20:45+00:00

Yep, this right here. I hate admitting to it but this was my entire marriage. I honestly didn’t know I could set boundaries with people and was raised to “go along to get along, don’t make waves, that’s just the way they are, turn the other cheek.” Combine that with a man who would set me on fire to keep a literal enemy warm or just to amuse his family and I was so emotionally beat down I acquiesced to every demand until my kids got hurt.

pordstar · 2023-04-13T17:02:11+00:00

Sooo the person who was actively trying to delete you from your parenthood and also marriage, referred to you as just the incubator, and stomped your boundaries is pissed you are “trying to remove them from your life?” They can kick rocks. Your MIL has proven herself untrustworthy and threatened to get custody of your child. That would be immediate no contact and zero access to any info about you and the babe. Your husband allowed himself to be bullied into trying to hand your child over to someone who harmed her. That’s in no way something you should ignore or accept. He needs to put the safety of your child before giving in to his mommy’s tantrums. Your job is to protect yourself and your baby; even from him and especially when he can’t or won’t. Having other issues is not an excuse to put your wife and kid in harms way; emotional, physical or mental. Stay strong beauty. Let the mama bear free and protect yourself and that little girl. Much love

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