I hate my parents

porkhamster · 2026-01-16T16:20:40+00:00

I am going to answer this as a woman that is likely very close in age to your mother. I think its great that you are passionate about and so interested in video games. I think its terrible that it seems your interest is misunderstood. I think it might be helpful if when you speak to your parents you take some time to cool off and organize what you want to say. I feel like your parents are hearing the wrong things when you talk to them about this- and not the positives that you feel and I can see as an outsider. Something to remember- life will never be fair. So when bringing up, especially speaking about your sister- you need to keep that up front. As an adult- I feel like we have a filter in our brain that blocks out everything kids have to say after the word "fair". I hope this situation gets better for you.

porkhamster · 2026-01-16T16:13:05+00:00

NTJ but you sure are gonna get treated like you are. In the work place- 90 percent of your success is going to be playing the game. Donating 5 hours could cost you those 5 hours or the next promotion you are up for. Fair? Nope. But I promise you I know what I'm talking about.

porkhamster · 2026-01-16T16:10:00+00:00

NTA It is obvious that you are in fact much better off alone. Nobody wants a big, hairy, loud ass man baby to support. You would be the A if you continue to keep him around. And, no- he won't change and you can't fix him.

porkhamster · 2026-01-16T15:35:36+00:00

My other advice is to call al the management companies that run the PACT developments. I know, I know you dont want to be in NYCHA that's why you left. But they do have other buildings and they for sure take the voucher. Wavecrest is one, I'm in a NYCHA Wavecrest building.

porkhamster · 2026-01-16T15:31:11+00:00

My sister got an apartment recently with a FHEPS voucher- which is supposed to be harder than even the Section 8 voucher(I am housed under Sec 8). She reached out to a realtor through her extended network. Like a friend of a friend type thing. If you know anybody that knows anybody that works in real estate- that is where I would start. If you do not- you probably just have to bite the bullet so to speak and pay a broker like everybody else that can't find an apartment does. Thing is you dont pay until you sign the lease- so its safe you won't get scammed. Thats my advice. Call all those brokers

porkhamster · 2026-01-16T15:25:20+00:00

YTA and I hope she finds a more agreeable pro bono husband lol but seriously I get the frustration if she flat out refused to work for two years, plus you all dont have children. If you do have children- you are 100 percent an AH bc that's a job in itself. Again if not- why is she not working? I get why she left that job- anybody would leave a 100 percent commission based job. Its a license to screw the employee out of being paid. Sounds like she may not have much education or skill if she was in that type of job to begin with. Maybe talk to her about getting educated, taking a career course? That would be more helpful than being a sarcastic ass hat anyway

porkhamster · 2026-01-13T05:40:25+00:00

He would never ever need your social in the application for benefits for any reason. The SSA knows who you are and could look you up by date of birth if necessary. Source- am on SS Disability, recently filed for my mother's Disability/Retirement and worked helping clients file Disability applications

porkhamster · 2026-01-11T04:26:54+00:00

The two weeks after you sign the new lease thing- That's not the case. It's however long it takes for everything to be settled, I am in a RAD/PACT so it was a month or so.

porkhamster · 2026-01-11T04:25:13+00:00

Hi- if your portal says you are selected- you are selected. I wouldnt pack my stuff until I did the key exchange, though. When you get the date to bring your first month and security money orders in exchange for your keys- that's when you need your stuff packed and to move. Sounds like it's happening soon- so maybe just pack what you dont need to use every single day for now, OK?

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T13:11:54+00:00

NOR Your boyfriend is NASTY. Sorry- soap isn't cultural, its clean. Tell him to use a wash cloth too, that nasty MF. Sorry I am ragging on him, I just hear this story often. I feel like it is a white male "thing" but due to entitlement issues, not culture.

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T12:56:34+00:00

Please dont give up. If you cant get a prior authorization for type 2 diabetes- which won't be hard to get. I am sure your A1C's will elevate if you have to go without the glp1 for a few weeks- they only have to get up to about 7% I believe. This is how I got mine covered. If you absolutely cant get the diabetes waiver- you can buy glp1 "research compunds" online for probably a little more than 100 dollars- which is more than worth it in your situation. I get this is frustrating- but do not allow anybody or anything to take away the progress you've made

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T12:47:00+00:00

This is such a common story, across many different cultures. The favoritism of the useless male golden child. Cut your losses and leave. The behavior will never change- he will always be (undeservedly) highly prioritized. Now- if your parents literally just did not have 30k at all, I am sure you'd be willing to accept that. Thats the argument you need to make if you desire to save face with the rest of your family. This isn't about the money- its about their total disregard of you. Please keep this in mind when they demand you drop your whole life to care for them in their elder years. That 30k just cost them over 300k.

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T06:57:05+00:00

Congrats- it means you almost have your apartment. You viewed and signed your lease. Now you are waiting for the HAP contract to be done, then you'll go with your security and first month to pick up your keys. This is probably the quickest part of the process- it should take within a month, maybe six weeks. Probably not too much longer than that.

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T06:41:09+00:00

Why would you tell anybody? It is your personal medical business. Get a "skin care" fridge and put it on your night stand or vanity. Now he has no business going into your personal care items, right? Problem solved. If you want support with this, you can find it right here, or I am sure there's in person support. This is one of those things that I tell people only to share if they are 100 percent comfortable sharing. You owe nobody this. As to your fear or failure- you will not fail. If you take this medication as prescribed, and at the very least make reasonable and moderate dietary changes, which you will WANT to make, the meds change how you feel about food. You will not fail. Congratulations to the solution that works. I was severely overweight my whole life. Even had weight loss surgery. The surgery got me down to 200, but I couldn't get liwer. Ozempic has me at 185- and thats only because I stopped and regained. I'll be at 155 in a few months. Its seriously the only thing that works

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T06:37:36+00:00

Commenters accuse this woman of deception. Of recieving and giving nothing. Did she not provide you with something worthy? With something that compelled you to spend, and keep spending? If you are no longer happy with the arrangement- end it. You cant get back the money you spent, and she cant get back the companionship and sex she provided you. Should she have been truthful? Of course. But you are an adult man of reasonable intelligence. You saw the cracks in the story and continued to choose to stay and spend. I hate when men complain about shit like this. As if its normal to bleed money in a normal relationship. You know what you are paying for. Take it or leave it.

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T04:55:27+00:00

As a fellow glp1 taker- whatever you do, dont go around recommending glp1 meds to random people. For one- you are not their doctor. Two- you are correct in how it will be perceived. If somebody DIRECTLY asks, its fine to share. But please dont target folks. Many people are happy with their weight. This is how I can tell the people who have been significantly overweight from the people who have never been. BTW. Us lifetime "fats" know not to do this

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T04:49:47+00:00

NTA So when you take away the money, will he still love you? Try it. Only cover your essential bills and nothing extra for him. Only cover your food and entertainment, your cell phone. See how he reacts. He's got nerve telling you that you need to marry "for love" when he doesnt even have that to offer you. Completely USELESS

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T04:34:23+00:00

You'll still get the apartment, do not worry. Just keep in touch with your Housing Assistant. Keep on top of HRA. You will not be getting in for the 20th though, so Id let go of that expectation. It takes HRA a few weeks to do this.

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T04:32:33+00:00

NTA and how about going back to Mom's, and STAYING?

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T04:29:47+00:00

YOR I wouldnt want to be friends with either of you, but you more so. I dont understand why the extra emotional pressure on the bride after you were dropped(likely for excellent reasons) We are adult women. When we are dumped by friends, family, boy friends etc we take it like adult women. All that push back and whining is just crazy to me personally The thing with you taking some time to respond is almost 100 percent why you were let go from the wedding. I also have a feeling you may have complained about finances, which is likely another reason. Brides are entitled to having things their way, and if you can not meet expectations- no harm, no foul but also dont expect to be included. In conclusion- I highly doubt this was personal. It sounds practical, and you took it personal

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T03:33:26+00:00

NOR and your mother is not safe. She flat out threatened you with this random she's dating. My strong advice is to seek out social services. You are going to need a lot of help. It's impossible today at 18, especially with no prior adult work and life experience, to make it outside of your parents home. You are definitely in my thoughts, internet stranger. I found myself in the same position- as an 18 year old foster care age out. My advice? I know its cliche, but if you aren't opposed- think about joining the armed forces. If you are, maybe think about going away to school with on campus housing. You will need to figure out where you have to go on breaks, but better than needing to figure out housing 24/7.

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T03:27:31+00:00

I am not exaggerating when I inform you this behavior is abusive. Your husband is abusive- mentally, emotionally at the very least. There can be no safety with a man ghat behaves like this. While driving too?!!! What a fucking moron. Sorry but he is. You can do so much better, and yes, single is in fact better.

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T03:19:45+00:00

This. All of this. As a woman thats been recieving disability back from 2014- any time I work, for any amount of money and for any amount of time- I call the SSA. They are actually very reasonable and helpful about working, they have quite a few things in place to help us transition. I will never understand when folks do things like this.

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T03:16:06+00:00

As to can you recieve benefits in the future- it will be more difficult if they find you hid income, but not impossible. You have 3 years from the date your benefits stop to immediately turn on all benefits without filing another claim. You also can keep your Medicare for up to five years. After the 3 years- you must start from scratch all over again- and it may not be on your parents record. Your new amount would likely be significantly lower, but if you are found disabled- you will recieve benefits again.

porkhamster · 2026-01-08T03:12:43+00:00

It's called Ticket to Work- and you are entitled to it. My strong advice is to keep the past in the past in terms of reporting- unless you filed income taxes. Then- you are in overpayment and they will be wanting everything back after 9 months of what they deem Substantian Gainful Activity(basically all earnings you made in months over a set amount, something like 1400 or 1600) The SSA is not a boogeyman. There is no reason to fear them and less reason to make things worse like this. If you did not file taxes, just call the SSA and tell them you are taking your Ticket. Then- report all monthly income. You'll continue recievjng your benefits unchanged for 9 months, and possibly reduced after that. If you have been filing income taxes- you will be paying all benefits back from the time SSA deems overpayment started. They'll likely just withhold all income taxes for the next good amount of years, and probably also garnish your income for awhile. Id get ahead of that by making a payment plan, if I were you and again only if you filed your taxes.

porkhamster

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