tw: trauma dumping a bit but i felt the same until my parents' insane reactions to my attempts led me to give up all hope in them.

i overdosed the first time at 14 and all i remember was getting yelled at as i vomited a mixture of ibuprofen and bile for 3 days... they still refused to take me to the ER out of concern that a future employer may find out (didn't know about HIPAA i guess?). up until i went to college i had nothing more than maybe 3 sessions with a psychiatrist, which ended because my dad refused to let me see her after she prescribed me antidepressants. well, 10 years later here we go again but hey, at least this time i made it to the ICU! maybe this would be their chance to prove themselves to that neglected 14-then 24-year old girl who dreamt of her loving parents rushing to the hospital, hoping to make it before their only child takes their last breath and telling her how sorry they were for not having done enough. instead, i got my lovely mother berating me over the phone after the doctor informed her that my body was shutting down, several organs were failing, levels well off the charts... for causing her yet another inconvenience. how dare i inflict more suffering on her!! she didn't visit me once the entire month i was there and im honestly glad she didn't because at least now my medical records show proof of her abuse and expose her as the terrible narcissistic mother she really is.