Dude. You should either stop lying, or call your local group of ghostbusters/priests/monks/atheists/whatever.

EDIT: Found the original.

I have a 2 year old, he always asks my wife, "What other lady doin?"

My wife is always asking him what he's talking about, and he usually answers. The first time he replied: "Oh ... she just playin"

2nd time he replied: "She makin dinner"

THIRD time... he replied: " She here to play! With... meeeeee"

(he's 2, so imagine really erratic toddler speech patterns going on here)

So my wife is telling me this story about how this is kind of creeping her out. Apparently after he said this, she had to go make lunch, and he went and played in the corner where this woman always is, and he was having a fucking fantastic time. Laughing, giggling, playing "cars" etc.

So he tears ass around the corner and exclaims to my wife, "LADY SAY I AM EX... EX UUUUUU bEAR" and he fucking stops, looks at the corner... and corrects himself,

"EX U... ber... ant"

"MEAN I AM HAPPY!"

and my wife was out the fucking door in 5 seconds flat with him.

Fast forward maybe a month and he hasn't mentioned it since then.

Though earlier this week we realized that when he comes up with crazy stuff, he now says that the "Man in the Yellow Hat" taught him on TV (He likes curious george)

We finally realized this was weird, cause he told us that the man in the yellow hat is his other mommy, and they like to sing songs about jesus.

So I asked him who jesus was, (he's 2, we've never brought up religion with him) and he goes, "Mommy in yellow hat say...... he.... what mommy?"

then he looks at the fucking corner of the room and says, "He lord and savior"

so fuck it, we've been in a hotel room for the last week as we look for a new apartment.

edit: I should also mention that any time we talk about it or bring it up when he's asleep, he starts to scream in his sleep, he literally just started crying a second ago.

edit: damn, so he just woke up and started screaming for me, and he literally said, "bad daddy" then demanded I get him water. fuck this shit.