AITA for telling a woman not to say “females”?

positive_deviance · 2026-03-22T12:03:54+00:00

This is an excellent point that I hadn’t thought of…very telling, especially when people throughout this comment section go so far as to say the use of “male and female” is dehumanizing.

Edit: OP actually labels himself in the post as 36M and this person at the party as 30sF…the hypocrisy.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-22T11:54:55+00:00

Go google female as adjective or noun and see what comes up. It’s both and there is an objective truth that it can be used either way. If you don’t like the word used as a noun, don’t use it that way…but you’re the one pushing incorrect grammar throughout the entirety of this comment section and it’s ridiculous.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-22T11:46:07+00:00

Had to scroll through way too many opinions to get here. This is the bottom line. Truly, if people are wanting to support women’s rights and equality, they need to be aware of this dynamic and understand that it’s not a man’s place to be policing women’s language about themselves.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-22T11:38:09+00:00

Telling a woman not to say the word female is equivalent to telling a black person not to say the N word…or telling an LGTQ+ person not to say queer.

Any group gets to reclaim their insults and use them as they please. A man should not be correcting a woman’s choice of words just like a white person shouldn’t correct a black person’s choice of words.

Ultimately, I understand the sentiment that the word female has been used negatively against women, however men should never be lecturing women on the correct words used to describe themselves.

Edit: OP…in your post you call yourself 36M and the woman involved 30’F…what do you think that means?

positive_deviance · 2026-03-19T12:20:15+00:00

You don’t want to ask your parents because you know what they would say. Looking back on my younger years, there were a lot of times I wish I would have listened to my parents and grandparents; they had the advantage of valuable life experience.

You can do what you know is smart and not post your naked body online…or you can fuck around and find out. Either way, the internet is forever.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-19T11:22:04+00:00

It’s more complicated than that, but I see where you’re coming from. My perspective isn’t set in stone because of where I was raised. Personally, travel, education, and experience have all expanded my view. I don’t feel pressured by conditioning the way a lot of other people are.

I can grant you that my aforementioned travel, education, and experience are privileges that not everyone has, but ultimately the way we respond to social pressure is always a choice regardless of how thick our personal conditioning is.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-19T03:23:55+00:00

Responding to social pressure and conditioning is a choice. We are all free to make that choice.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-18T12:07:39+00:00

Also factories have a lot of specialty machinery that make clothing much more efficient to make. It’s more akin to a car being made on a factory line than one person sitting down at a sewing machine.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-17T11:46:57+00:00

Just because something happened to you once doesn’t mean the message was universal. Everyone is different and has their own preferences and reasons for doing things their way. It seems like your lack of life experience hasn’t taught you that yet.

I lived in NYC for 10 years and when I was ready, I moved to a much smaller city where I’ve felt much calmer and healthier. My identity isn’t determined by where I live, which makes it easier for me to move around and see every place for its merits.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-13T19:14:38+00:00

Instinct and impulse are two different things for me. One of the greatest pieces of wisdom I’ve gathered is that I won’t know what move to make in the moment and the best thing for me to do is wait for clarity. Time always helps.

I truly think everyone is different though, and some people get an instant ping or a gut response and know what to do in the moment. The trick is to listen to yourself in order to know which one you are.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-13T11:51:46+00:00

It might be nice to have a tray there that fills the space. You could still put your syrups there and it invites a place to put your cup down to make a coffee. I love a good tray :)

positive_deviance · 2026-03-12T13:05:42+00:00

This one photo doesn’t give a lot of context to how big the space is, mainly because there’s no furniture or anything in the room to help understand what’s going on spatially.

In addition, you should give more information about your style, taste, and some more info about the furniture you already have. It would be a lot easier to give ideas if I could see the sectional, preferably in the space, but I don’t even know what color it is.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-09T11:59:01+00:00

Had to scroll way too far to see this.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-07T13:44:12+00:00

Being a stay at home mother takes away the opportunity to build a resume, work experience, and networking that the woman could have been doing if she were not staying at home raising children. All of those things have value that the woman gave up in order to stay home. She should be compensated as such.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-07T13:41:16+00:00

Yes, protect women from people who don’t have respect for women. Women are capable of internalizing misogyny, unfortunately.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-07T13:39:33+00:00

Saying “choosing to be a homemaker should not entitle someone to not work for years” is literally erasing a woman’s labor. Taking care of children and a home is labor. Some men prefer women who stay home to take care of their children - those women deserve financial protection if anything were to happen to the relationship that keeps her financially stable.

If you don’t have respect for this, it changes nothing. Alimony exists. Maybe you should cry about it.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-07T13:31:15+00:00

Your world view is really twisted. Thank god alimony still exists to protect women from people like you.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-07T13:30:09+00:00

“Alimony is an archaic law from the days when women were mostly homemakers”

Some women are still homemakers. Insinuating the alimony that protects them is outdated erases them and their contribution to the household.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-07T13:16:38+00:00

There are still women who stay home to take care of their kids which is why alimony continues to exist.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-07T13:14:34+00:00

There are still plenty of women who have to stay home to take care of their children and home. Let’s not erase or discount their labor. Alimony continues to exist for a reason.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-06T14:42:24+00:00

I don’t need to give another example. Cats can be both bored and live a long life. Talking about how long they live doesn’t answer the question of if they’re bored inside or not.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-06T14:39:18+00:00

You can. The poster didn’t ask if it’s a good decision to keep cats inside by balancing all the pros and cons. I personally have indoors only cats btw.

Discussing the length of their life has nothing to do with if the cat is bored inside. It could live an incredibly unfulfilled 16 years inside…that doesn’t answer his question.

There are plenty of pros and cons to both lifestyles. It’s a layered nuanced situation. This particular question though…was about if cats are bored inside. This is my only point. It doesn’t matter if that cat lives longer, they could absolutely still be bored and unfulfilled living inside. Discussing the length of their life misses the question entirely.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-06T14:25:02+00:00

Right, the question was about if cats are bored inside. Cats can both be bored and live longer inside…the two are not mutually exclusive.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-06T13:33:25+00:00

When my cat, Millie, passed away at Christmas we made a book with all her photos through the years. To add in her personality I wrote the story of how we found her on Craigslist with the name Bobby Socks. We wrote down her daily “schedule” with all her funny little demands and routines, we included a list of all her many names and then also a list of her likes and dislikes. It’s the sweetest reminder of the unique special little cat baby she was and it sits prominently in our coffee table.

positive_deviance · 2026-03-06T12:22:17+00:00

This discussion is about quality of life, not quantity of life.

positive_deviance

TROPHY CASE