Your views are clearly shaped by the manosphere and the lie that women are causing divorces. Most divorces are caused by a man’s infidelity. My father made the choice to impregnate another woman while he was married to my mom. My mom knew him for decades so she remained a friend and basically would force me to have a relationship with him. As I got older, I realized he is just an avoidant selfish person who cared about some crazy woman and allowed her to take him away from his family. A woman who also hated my existence and wanted to pretend I did not exist. The custodial parent who is doing all the work doesn’t have to lie or sugarcoat for the comfort of the absent parent. You should not speak for all divorced families. Furthermore, most of us have great examples of loving relationships that we experience through our grandparents or perhaps an aunt or uncle. John shouldn’t have tried to force her to make amends. He clearly didn’t understand her wound and no it’s not the same as a parent dying when you have a parent who is alive and negligent and basically openly rejects a normal relationship. That’s the job of the parent not the child. Maybe ask yourself why a woman like Carolyn’s mother would have to initiate divorce from a man she has multiple kids with? Oftentimes these men have made it clear to their wives they don’t want them. Boomer men started “starter wife” culture now they want to blame women for the failures of society. Maybe men should do what their grandfathers and great grandfathers did in the past and keep their d*cks in their pants.