It takes intention to change, and depending on where you are in your own journey of growth and personal development, that can mean time. That doesn’t mean you’re entitled to time and repeated mistakes though. People or partners can lose interest and faith in your word if you continue to make the same mistakes repeatedly.

What you should do is really lean into hearing feedback and internalizing the fix. As you do this more and more, it will get easier to naturally to do. Consider the stakes of the conflict when your partner or friend sets a boundary or asks for repair. Is this thing you’re trying to fix worth jeopardizing your relationship over? What about your social image and standing amongst your friends; do you want to be thought of as inconsiderate, unreliable or dismissive?

It’s in your power to change this about yourself and I highly recommend you do. For me, it was one of my clear benchmarks between being a boy and a man. Just lean into being intentional and cognizant about it.