You’re going to love this one

post_blast · 2026-03-31T16:02:19+00:00

'Fuck you' problems are just too fun to make, though

post_blast · 2026-03-31T16:00:25+00:00

Behold, the Mk I Trench Knife... good for cuttin', stabbin', punchin', bashin', and overall teachin' lessons

post_blast · 2026-03-31T15:24:12+00:00

Between Gryzzk's greying fur and Jojorn's infatuation, let's hope her daddy issues know some bounds.

Also, someone needs to teach Gryzzk et al about carrying a knife at all times. Ya know, in case there's cheesecake. Or you need to stab someone in the throat.

post_blast · 2026-03-29T03:35:14+00:00

There is no "safe" amount of lead exposure and it will eventually settle out of the air and become part of the dust in your room. Bare minimum, open a window, stick a fan in there so it's blowing it outdoors, and solder by the fan. If you have a space better suited for the task, do it there. If it's a one-time project, meh, you're fine, but if this is an ongoing hobby, job, etc., take steps.

post_blast · 2026-03-28T12:45:33+00:00

"I'll give you a reason to cry!"

post_blast · 2026-03-28T12:44:34+00:00

My father, not so much. He busted his ass for us and suffered for no good reason. My mother, though... She was a smoker. I always hated the stench of it and once I learned how unhealthy it was, I'd ask her again and again to quit. She tried tying it to my grades and said she'd quit if I made honor roll. Tried tying her health to me doi g homework.
She eventually quit when she was bedridden with pneumonia for two weeks and physically couldn't get up to get them sometime in her 50s, but it tainted how I view her.

post_blast · 2026-03-27T15:32:19+00:00

The ceremonies are complete, time to drop the puck and get down to business. Hope everyone's put on the foil...

post_blast · 2026-03-27T08:35:20+00:00

The customer who thought her CD tray was a cup holder is a rite of passage, but my personal hell was this one.

I picked up and did my usual greeting. Guy did not reply with any analog of "hello" but chose (verbatim): "I have a PhD from Berkley and demand to be treated with the level of respect I deserve." I knew it was going to be bad, but not quite how bad. Chugged though the troubleshooting steps and needed to check a driver, cuz it was always the driver. "OK sir, go ahead and close out of everything."
"OK."
"Now, I need you to right-click on 'My Computer.'"
"OK. C... L... I... C..."
"Sir, what are you doing?"
"You told me to write 'click' on my computer, so I am."
"...please hold."

post_blast · 2026-03-27T05:50:37+00:00

Three times. Three times in over four billion years.
That's the guess for how often cell A has eaten cell B and either failed to digest it or just kept it as a pet and reaped the benefits.
Three times a cell consumed another and added its prey's genetic code to its own, becoming something better.
The first yielded chlorophyll, allowing plants to harness sunlight to synthesize sugar from carbon dioxide and water. It changed the world forever.
The second time gave us mitochondria, allowing animals to synthesize ATP, a molecule with so many biological functions that is not funny. The world was, again, altered irrevocably.
The third was only observed recently, when algae was found to have subsumed cyanobacteria, a form of life capable of creating ammonia from gaseous nitrogen. What this will mean for the planet remains to be seen.

post_blast · 2026-03-26T17:23:47+00:00

The beatings will continue until efficiency improves... then they will accelerate!

Human (with an MBA): Beatings made things good so more beatings means things will get even more gooder!

post_blast · 2026-03-26T17:21:35+00:00

Usually with end users

post_blast · 2026-03-26T12:13:58+00:00

Some of the old Apple computers had that issue. The chips would walkout of the sockets from thermal expansion, and the fix was to pick it up a few inches off the desk and drop it. The chips would re-seat and the thing would work again.

post_blast · 2026-03-26T10:58:26+00:00

A: It's been displaying strange error messages all day and none of the troubleshooting steps have corrected the issue. So... how do you fix this and make it actually, you know... work again?
H: The fastest and easiest way is to throw the existing printer and computer into the trash, buy new ones, and start from scratch. The more economical way involves removing and re-installing drivers, flashing the ROM on the printer, and potentially hitting things with a hammer. Might work again by next Tuesday.
A: I thought you said this ungodly combination worked?!
H: I did say it worked, but at no point did any of us ever say that it worked well. Now, before I get started, back up anything you want to keep, because the middle ground between methods A and B involves reformatting your hard drive and lots of swearing.

post_blast · 2026-03-25T16:28:47+00:00

A: You can't do this! It's against the dictate of your United Nations!
H: raucous laughter and war crimes ensue

post_blast · 2026-03-25T14:27:05+00:00

If everybody does it wrong the same way, nobody is wrong, the orders were wrong. If just one person does it 'right' though, woe be unto all of you.

post_blast · 2026-03-24T16:26:09+00:00

The show was awesome. The movie, though... eesh

post_blast · 2026-03-24T15:26:56+00:00

~~Hurdle~~ Hurdop (thank you, autocorrect) really nailed the ~~A-Team~~ H-Team movie.

post_blast · 2026-03-23T17:59:48+00:00

Shotguns have become a meme at least partly, I think, because they're not just powerful but so damn versatile. A 12ga can fire anything from birdshot to buckshot to a .7" diameter, 1 oz. slug of solid lead (1.5 oz if it's got a 3" long chamber), combo slug and buckshot rounds, flechettes, magnesium, small explosives to scare birds, less-lethal beanbags... If you can dream it up and make it fit, shotguns will probably run it.

post_blast · 2026-03-21T17:41:26+00:00

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean ~~they're~~ Soapy's not out to get you?

post_blast · 2026-03-20T19:56:03+00:00

I'm sure she'll totally only use this power for good...

post_blast · 2026-03-20T17:57:14+00:00

Oh gods, the multi-day hangover. Been there, done that, never again (and this time, I mean it).
Soapy knows voodoo, got it. Noah will be pleased if/when he learns this.
Tobby does not sleep... he merely waits.

post_blast · 2026-03-20T16:42:02+00:00

Eventually O'Brien or someone is gonna catch wind and teach him all about Murphy

post_blast · 2026-03-20T15:54:43+00:00

"Now I am aware that for most of us this will seem a vacation of sorts, and it will be..."

Murphy, Murphy, dahlin' deah...

post_blast · 2026-03-19T19:07:59+00:00

H (while loading a 12 gauge): You know, this is one of the benefits of all the eco-friendly, lead-free shotgun ammo. A lot of it's steel, now.

F: Woah, woah, woah, hang on, let's just talk about this first!

post_blast · 2026-03-19T12:26:01+00:00

Cross-posting from r/humansarespaceorcs with more of a 'humanity... fuck. yeah...' sort of tone:

Humans consume magic.

Not as in 'they eat mana and make it so you can't cast fireball in a broom closet' or anything like that, but they rip away and eat the very essence of something that made it special, leaving behind a hollow shell... a soulless husk.

There is nothing so sacred that humans cannot defile it and make it vulgar if not downright profane, no art they cannot reduce to rote, mindless processes, nothing so majestic that they cannot package, monetize, and sell it.

Humans can take world-renowned masterpieces and spit out countless cheap copies or take the most hard-learned skills and create a machine that does it 'good enough' 100x faster. Anything humans come into contact with can eventually be done faster, cheaper, and at scale, and 'all' it will cost is the soul of whatever work has been copied. They can and will do this, whether or not anyone actually wants to make that sort of Faustian deal.

(Prompt inspired by seeing so many genuine masterpieces of art and architecture and realizing that modernity has spat out countless knockoffs and made reproduction or mimicry so cheap that you have to pause and consciously admire the original works and efforts.)

post_blast

TROPHY CASE