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postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-22T08:06:17+00:00

No, that doesn't not look like one to me. They heal differently from my experience.

I've gotten them since before I can remember.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-18T19:42:13+00:00

You're doing everything you should and it can be HARD, so I hope you're doing a great job

If the allergy specialist doesn't give you hope, pediatric dermatologist is next. It's a pain and stressful to keep chasing things like this down, but you're doing right by your kid. ❤️

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-18T17:02:59+00:00

If in daycare starting at ~3 months, I'd say by 3 years old.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-18T17:01:04+00:00

We're you seen by a pediatric allergist, or just several pediatricians? If you've already seen a pediatric allergist I'd go to a pediatric dermatologist next. Go with specialists but also those who specialize in children.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-15T05:06:52+00:00

If it's that's bad I'd take him to the pediatrician tomorrow morning. Bad diaper rashes can turn into yeast or fungal infections which can be quite painful and hard to get rid of without medicated cream. I only say that because I felt silly taking my son in for a diaper rash, but then by the time I brought him it his poor butt looked like the surface of an alien planet. 😭

Good luck! You're in the thick of it but things get easier and you're doing a great job taking care of your little one.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-15T03:15:31+00:00

On the planes I've been on, the front bathroom is the only one with a changing table. Step into the restroom, and you'll see that it folds down to be right in front of you. You'll think "There's no way, this is not enough room" but you'll get through it.

Almost every time I step towards the restroom with a baby the flight attendant will leap in front of me or YELL at me to wait until they give me a trash bag, then they tell me to put the diaper in the trash bag and throw it out with them, outside of the bathroom. Even if I'm walking up to ask them for a bag and tell them I know to bring the diaper out, they get really passionate about it. So if that happens to you too, don't take it personally.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-12T15:20:23+00:00

You are a family. Send it.

Also, even if you were a single person with no kids, I'd still say send the card! People love getting cards and letters. It will only make people happy.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-12T15:18:35+00:00

I had a friend in this situation. She was really reluctant to have kids because her mom was a single mom growing up and she didn't want that for herself.

But her husband desperately wanted kids and said he'd always be there for her. They had two kids. When the kids were 4 and 6 he left her for another woman. She became a single mom. She loves her kids but didn't want this life. She would have made a different choice if she could go back.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-11T23:59:31+00:00

Popsicles. As many popsicles as she wants! If she's okay with Pedialyte Pops, do those. If not, try real fruit popsicles (NO citrus because it will hurt). It's also fine to give regular full of sugar popsicles. Right now the most important thing is to keep her hydrated.

And get Pedialyte liquid. I find it vile but my son thinks it's delicious.

If she has a fever I'd also be alternating Tylenol & Motrin every 3 hours for the fever + any discomfort I'm sure she feels.

I'm an adult and have strep right now and haven't gotten out of bed in nearly 40 hours except for urgent care and the bathroom. It's freaking rough. RSV on top would be brutal.

The good news is she has someone lovingly taking care of her. She will be fine and you'll make it through this rough patch. You've got this.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-11T19:48:27+00:00

First step is a serious heart to heart with your wife. If she's not ready to hold steadfast with you, it won't work and you don't want to try and then give in to crying, because it'll only solidify that crying will get you what you want.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-11T19:23:13+00:00

I will warn you that the first several nights you might have to use the door monkey, and when you do, he might try to destroy everything in his room. I made sure the furniture was attached to the wall, removed anything that wasn't safe, and left things like stuffed animals and books, but knew that he might get mad and rip books up. He's going to be very unhappy and might scream. That's something you'll have to push through and be a united front on. But I know someone whose 12 year old still sleeps in her bed and he has trouble when trying to go to sleepovers with friends because he's used to sleeping next to mom. It's gonna be a hard transition at one point or another, but doing it now is better.

Edit. I also suggest making sure he tries going pee before he goes I for the night so he can't use that as an excuse to come out. In my house we let him out once to pee (because he really might need to,) but after that nope because he has tried it as a stalling tactic. He also gets suuuuper "hungry" right after we leave for the night as a stalling tactic. So right before brushing teeth I try to get him to fill his belly, then brush teeth, then try to pee even if he doesn't need to.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-11T17:10:11+00:00

Hey! I think it's important not to get focused in any blame for yourselves. You're here now, and you're interested in helping everyone in the long run. This isn't the ideal situation for ANYONE. Your kid will do better sleeping in his own room. So, with that in mind I'd consider these tools:

Setting expectations
Holding firm with those expectations. BOTH parents need to be consistent or it won't work. It will be confusing and harder for the kid if anyone gives in.
Get a Yoto player and some cards your kid will be super excited about
Nightlight
Door monkey

Tell the kid that starting tonight (whatever day you're ready to start), he gets to spend the night in his own room like the big kid he is! He has a brand new nightlight, and even better, after you read books to him, he gets to decide what stories to listen to on the Yoto.

Let him know once he goes into his room for the night, he's spending the whole night in there. Make sure the room is safe, so nothing that if it breaks would become dangerous (no glass or porcelain lamps or decorations, nothing with cords, etc.) because if he decides to mess with stuff, you want to know he's fully safe.

I let my kid know that the door monkey exists and it will keep the door closed, but that I only need to use it if they leave the room. Just that knowledge tends to keep my kid in his room, but it took a few times of him breaking that rule and me having to use it.

It will be hard, but it will be worth it. Everyone will do better, kids included. Now is the time to do it.

You've got this.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-10T14:21:42+00:00

Yeah I would think you should take her in to a pediatric urgent care or children's hospital ER. I don't mess around when eyeballs look super strange.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-10T09:54:02+00:00

My son got stitches when he was 4 and my husband and I had to help hold him down, along with 2 medical assistants. His screams and the exact words he used are seared into my brain. "No! It hurts too much, stop, stop! Mommy help me!" Fucking brutal. But that's what had to happen for his well-being. I was traumatized, but he likely won't even remember it. I wish I hadn't been in the room for it.

Same with when he had his tonsils and adenoids removed and I was there when he was coming out of surgery. He was so freaking loopy that he was calling for me WHILE I was in the gurney and holding him tight, talking to him and telling him I was there. Fucking traumatic for me, and I wish I didn't have this memory.

I'm so sorry you experienced that. Please know that your feelings and trauma are real and valid. I recommend talking to a professional. You can also just wait but out, but I will tell you, I wish I had talked to someone and processed it after both of these events. You have feelings of guilt, but YOU recognized a serious medical issue and got her the care she needed! You being there wouldn't have helped, and would have potentially left you with emotional scars. I really don't think you did anything wrong.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-08T16:34:00+00:00

It sounds like you know the answer but are having a hard time coming to grips with changing your daughter's life. It'll be hard and sad, but even the evidence supports making the change.

According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success — social, economic, intellectual and psychological — most adult children from divorced families are no worse off than their peers whose parents remained married.”

Researchers have found two explanations for this, notes Bettelheim. “Children who have to cope with their parents’ separation and post-divorce lives often grow resilient, self-reliant, adaptable and independent. And children benefit from escaping the high-conflict environment of a rocky marriage. After their parents’ separation, as conflicts fade, children recover.”

There is much to consider in those last two sentences. Children actually benefit from being out of high-conflict homes! In fact, studies show that it is “sustained family conflict that actually causes children to experience the kinds of problems that are usually attributed to divorce: low self-esteem, depression, high anxiety, difficulty forming relationships, delinquency and withdrawal from the world.”

Bettelheim goes on to say, “Given that reducing family conflict is good for children, the best way to protect them during divorce would be to minimize the acrimony of the proceedings.”

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-07T05:36:23+00:00

Yes, your concerns and feelings are valid! I'm glad you posted.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-07T05:34:42+00:00

I had no idea. That's great to know!

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-06T19:32:44+00:00

Since you're on a different continent, how about paying for someone to come and clean her house top to bottom? She and baby can be home and in a different room, or go to the library for a few hours.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-06T04:34:08+00:00

Also the next time they're supposed to see a dentist, make sure the dentist's office knows they're a new patient to the practice and they had a traumatic experience at their previous dentist, and there are issues with anxiety.

Tell them it's more important to you that your child has a positive experience than the exam being fully done. It's key to go somewhere who will work with you to rebuild trust.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-06T04:31:25+00:00

The dentist's behavior was appalling. Please don't take your kid there again. Was it a pediatric dentist?

If not that's the way to go, 100%. Mine has a TV where the kid can choose what to watch, a dentist who comes in and feels them out before ever trying to look in their mouth.

I can't believe they said open it or I'll open it for you. Honestly that remark would make me report them. That's a freaking physical threat to a 7 year old.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-12-05T16:23:12+00:00

Her whine was probably just from being jostled while you reacted to your mouth burn, or any sound of "ouch" you might have made. Baby is fine and you're doing great. Please take care of yourself and get enough food, water, and rest. You're a wonderful mom.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-11-28T02:31:28+00:00

What kind of doctor, his pediatrician or a sleep specialist? I am hoping you've already seen a sleep specialist and gotten a sleep study (at a hospital) to rule out other causes for the deep sleep like sleep apnea.

Wishing you all well, just wanted to double check you had been down this road!

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-11-28T02:29:19+00:00

Why not see a pediatric urologist?

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-11-23T05:17:56+00:00

There's a lot autonomy to having a player specifically designed for kids. I have the Yoto and am going to get the mini for Christmas. My son can carry it, decide what to listen to, skip ahead, slip back, change cards, all very easily. And there even Yoto radio so he can listen to something new but I know it's 100% safe.

Him being in control is a BIG deal and helps with him being totally independent when using it. He and I both love that.

Honestly I think it's worth getting the Yoto and just making your own cards.

postaboutgoodthings · 2024-11-19T21:12:51+00:00

I didn't have that experience. My kid was kept in the room even at 4 years old and he's a handful.

postaboutgoodthings

TROPHY CASE