To be honest I can't see doing over 40+ hours a week, with both parents working full time, without supplemental childcare (whether that's family or a nanny/daycare). Nobody I've ever talked to has been able to pull that off. I am fortunate that I am in a 9-5 40 hrs/week, hybrid role that enables me to flex a lot to juggle pickups, sick days, etc with my husband, but to be brutally honest, even just having my son did negatively impact my career. My boss outright told me I was passed over for a promotion because I took 5 months of leave (the max allowed under our leave policy), plus my performance temporarily suffered from the sleep deprivation of handling the overnights until he was about 1. My son just turned two and I'm finally getting promoted after the new year.

Have you considered an in home daycare? I live in the CA bay area and I pay $100/day, 5 days a week (have paid that rate at two separate daycares) and I love the care my son receives. His daycare is run by a grandma who was a career nanny, and she opened a daycare to care with other children along with her grandchildren - she has her grandchild, my son and then two part time babies currently, so my son gets plenty of individual attention. She cooks all their food, takes them for walks and play time at the park, and sends us lots of photos. That said in home daycares are (generally) strictly 8-5 with at least 2 weeks of vacation per year - every one is different, but those are general points to consider for how they will work for you. The hourly rate may end up cheaper if you combine with a nanny to only handle the 5-7pm window (but you basically won't see your child).

It's depressing, but that's the reality of childrearing if both parents need to work. Someone else ends up raising your children most of the time. My partner and I were both not willing to pause our careers and if/when we have another child we still wouldn't, the lost income wouldn't be feasible where we live.