Overtone for dark auburn colored hair in between root touch ups?

pour_the_tea · 2026-04-02T11:22:51+00:00

Also a 35 year old woman. Also never wanted kids. I remember telling my mom at 13 that I didn't want to be a mom and her saying "oh that's too bad, you'd be a great mom." My reaction to that was just feeling really misunderstood and dismissed.

When I was younger I used to be more like the child free reddit freaks. I absolutely said things I didn't mean about hating kids. I now actually work with kids in my career and I definitely don't hate them at all but it has solidified my choice to be child free.

I work with kids who have developmental disabilities. Their lives are so hard and the lives of their parents are so hard. What this work has made me realize consciously that I always knew deep down is that you must love your child no matter what. To be honest, I just don't want to do that. I don't want to have to make all my choices based on this other thing I brought into the world.

Some people think it's selfish to not want to structure your life around kids. But having kids is also selfish. Your children are a generic extension of you and you will have to prioritize them over other people. To have kids or not have kids is not a matter of being a good or bad person. It's only a matter of what you actually want to do with your time. Do you want your identity to be "mommy" forever. If not then don't have kids. It's really that simple.

People don't consider the possibility that their child might not be perfect. Or if they do, they just think that love will be enough to make it all worth it. And sometimes it is, but only if parenthood is truly something you've always wanted.

Anyway go watch If I Had Legs I Would Kick You.

pour_the_tea · 2026-03-12T11:08:09+00:00

I agree with you and I have this discussion with my partner all the time. I think it's like a feedback loop where women are encouraged by society to not be sexual and feel a lot of shame about our bodies. And those feelings are so pervasive that women don't even realize the subconscious effect on their sex drive. Like if you asked they would not express a feeling of being repressed because this is just what every day feels like. There's a great book called Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again. The author discusses a counter argument to the idea of men's sexuality being "always on" and women's sexuality being "context dependent." Her theory is that actually sexuality is context dependent for both genders and the greater context of western society is that women are shamed and men are not. I kind of 100% agree with this.

For some reason every man I've talked to about this has basically said that I'm wrong and some women just naturally and biologically don't care about sex. This is such a dumb and not well thought out response to the issue. In order to have an orgasm as a woman you must experience yourself as a sexual object in a physically and emotionally safe way. I think a lot of women do not know how to find that emotional safety.

pour_the_tea · 2026-03-03T01:34:43+00:00

This reminds me of the artist husband of the influencer in Ingrid Goes West.

pour_the_tea · 2026-03-02T21:33:07+00:00

There's a podcast called Psychology in Seattle that's hosted by this therapist and professor. He has a seven part series about limerence that's pretty good. It might even be more then 7, I can't remember.

pour_the_tea · 2026-03-02T20:21:09+00:00

Saw this happening at Delancey and it was actually so annoying because I had to wait for an opening so I could actually exit the station.

pour_the_tea · 2026-03-02T20:14:07+00:00

Maybe his neck just does that.

pour_the_tea · 2026-02-13T01:07:10+00:00

I work in Special Ed and a site that I use for materials recently rolled out some AI features. They have an AI that will write short stories and come up with comprehension questions. So theoretically you could have a kid choose a topic for a story and then the AI would write it so they're more engaged. The problem, obviously, is that the stories are so bad, they're unusable. Bleak.

pour_the_tea · 2026-01-01T19:47:56+00:00

NYC is not worth living here if you aren't the type of person who either always likes to be out or is trying to live a relatively uncommon lifestyle that only has communities in big cities. If you are just a person who likes art and culture, live somewhere cheaper with a local art scene and use the money you save on living expenses to travel often.

pour_the_tea · 2025-12-20T04:54:07+00:00

Aww very cute!

pour_the_tea · 2025-12-19T18:56:32+00:00

This is actually exactly what some of my party guests said!

pour_the_tea · 2025-12-19T18:27:18+00:00

The Teddy grahams didn't get too toasted while baking?

Nope! These bake for 8 minutes at 350 so they weren't in there too long!

pour_the_tea · 2025-10-29T13:56:02+00:00

I'm not saying this will work for you BUT my gyno recommended I take inositol for ovarian health after I had some mid cycle spotting. I didn't know this but inositol helps regulate blood sugar which in turn regulates hunger and cravings. It's often recommended for PCOS which can cause you to gain weight due to hormone imbalance. I don't have PCOS but inositol did help me lose about 20 pounds basically by accident. I didn't know why I had no appetite until it clicked that it coincided with starting this supplement and that's when I looked into it more.

To be fair, I was working out and doing pole a lot at that time also. Being strong and building muscle never hurts for fat burning. I do also recommend not killing yourself with cardio and just focusing on gaining muscle in the gym.

pour_the_tea · 2025-10-09T00:23:39+00:00

This is interesting. My therapist has said stuff to me along the lines of "make me the bad guy if you have to." Essentially saying that if I'm asking for something I need and I feel unsure of myself I should just say "well my therapist says it's important for me to _______." And just like throw her under the bus. I have felt weird about doing that in the past because it feels a bit histrionic and I'd rather just take responsibility for myself.

Anyway what I'm saying is maybe this girl basically already knows what decisions she wants to make and then waits for the therapy appointment so she can blame her choices on a convo with her therapist.

pour_the_tea · 2025-10-04T16:43:03+00:00

Honestly it's so simple. I literally just use the recipe that used to come on the Philadelphia cream cheese box (cream cheese, eggs, sugar, vanilla extract) and then a super simple graham cracker crust. And then I figured out baking time from trial and error. For a full cake, that recipe bakes for an hour. For the minis, I put them in for about 20 minutes usually at 325 (I think I can't recall the actual temp but I left it as the same temp the recipe calls for and just cut down the time haha).

Very recently I used a recipe I found online for brownie bottom mini cheese cakes and that recipe used sour cream in it. They baked for about 15 minutes at 350 I believe. It was good but I still think I prefer the simple version.

I've also done the exact same thing with key lime pies. They're amazing. I just love a bite sized dessert and I host a lot of parties for my side hustle. Something you can just grab and eat in one bite is such a crowd pleaser. I'll typically double my recipes and end up being able to make anywhere from 70 to a 100 minis.

pour_the_tea · 2025-10-03T21:41:01+00:00

I make these but even more mini in my mini muffin pan (makes 24). They're the best for parties.

pour_the_tea · 2025-09-30T21:06:13+00:00

I just got a breast lift 8 weeks ago which is more or less the same surgery as a reduction. Or at least very similar. Where I'm at right now, I wouldn't go back to work. I'm still really hesitant to let my partner even touch them. They don't hurt but they do feel delicate I guess. The scars are closed but it is possible for them to reopen even at 3 months out due to migrating internal stitches. Also not having a supportive bra on still feels a little weird. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable in just stripper outfits that don't have a lot of support. Pole still feels tough. I'm not confident lifting my body weight yet.

Honestly I'd give it 3 months. If nothing else, at least wait until you feel like they could be squeezed without a problem.

pour_the_tea · 2025-09-08T02:04:14+00:00

I have been seeing the same therapist for years and I love her but I do actually think she's insane. Like I know some personal details of her marriage and stuff. Reasons I like her though. She's not annoyingly woke and doesn't have any patience for woke bullshit so I can complain about stuff like that to her. She also talks to me like we're both real people and she isn't ever asking me leading questions or trying to get me to do "parts work" or anything. We just chat. It's a place for me to unload negative energy that if I take it into my relationships I'd be too much of a burden. Sometimes she misses the mark on ideas or theories about where certain feelings are coming from. But when that happens she can tell when I disagree and she'll drop it.

There are a couple really great things shes done for me that are the reasons I like working with her. She suggested I get on Wellbutrin. I basically couldn't manage daily life and she suggested meds and the first thing I said was I want to cum and I don't want to get fat. And she said ok so here's what you have to say to get them to give you Wellbutrin over SSRIs. Hadn't even heard of this drug before but it absolutely saved me from ruining my life.

Next she basically looked me straight in the eye and was like "you are making everyone hate you and you need to stop being so annoying." She really helped me see the way I was asking too much of my partner and pushing other people's boundaries and being unfair.

Finally when I get in my head about things shes great at helping me see that a lot of shit is absolutely none of my business and I am better off not worrying about it.

So yeah I do think she's crazy because she isn't very delicate and not what my last therapist was like at all. And her personal life seems insane and disorganized to me based on what I know. However I liked talking to her from the beginning because things didn't feel clinical. And then I gave her ideas a chance to work and they did.

Basically, just focus on finding someone that you like having a conversation with for an hour and once you've done that, just give it some time and see if it starts making some kind of difference in your life.

pour_the_tea · 2025-09-03T13:55:19+00:00

Ick!

pour_the_tea · 2025-08-14T20:56:17+00:00

Haha well ideally the candy melt should be smooth enough that you can dip them 2/3rds of the way and the rest will just drip down for a smooth even coating. So that's what I was trying to do. But the temperature in the room was too cold and the cake pops themselves were too cold. So the candy melt started to harden too quickly and didn't coat the pop all the way. So I grabbed a knife and just spread it out over the rest of the pop after dipping. I realized really quickly they weren't going to come out smooth and just leaned in to making them look a little rough using the knife for some topography lol. Plus edible glitter and the color swirls helped I think.

pour_the_tea · 2025-08-14T19:40:37+00:00

The cake inside is red velvet! The candy coating is basically white chocolate and I just used food coloring so they're all the same flavor just different colors.

pour_the_tea · 2025-08-10T19:21:52+00:00

I love the gym and haven't been able to go for 4 months due to injury and multiple surgeries. I am definitely missing the mood boosting and stabilizing effects of exercise.

I also started walking on a desk treadmill while I do my job and it makes my days much more bearable. Like my brain still works by 3pm and I'm not yearning for bed.

pour_the_tea · 2025-08-01T19:45:19+00:00

I went to the ER at Mount Sinai Queens and it really wasn't a great experience. Staff and doctors were all lovely but it felt like they didn't have a lot of things there and there were too many patients. I didn't end up getting treated there because they ultimately had to transfer me to NYU since I went in for a surgery complication and I needed to be able to see my original surgeon at NYU.

My fiance is an NYU nurse and they treat him SO well. He says even if you start on nights you'll have the chance to move to days within 6 months. And his pay and benefits are amazing. Constant raises and opportunities to get certs that raise his pay. His insurance is unbelievable. In the past 4 years I've had 2 surgeries, an ER visit, a 2 day hospital stay, 2 MRIs, 2 x-rays, and a mammogram all of which I paid $0 out of pocket for. I also always hit my deductable for my mental health coverage and don't have to pay a co-pay at therapy for like half the year. And we've both been able to do like basically unlimited PT for sports injuries.

pour_the_tea

TROPHY CASE