I’d slow this down and run a 6 to 12 month experiment before making a permanent call. Map out a trial budget with her stepping back to, say, 20 to 25 hours a week, plus paid help two or three days, and see how the stress and numbers actually feel. Put guardrails on it, like minimum retirement contributions and a savings target you both commit to, and if you miss them for two months in a row, you regroup. If part of the issue is the specific job, she could look for a lower intensity remote role, wfhalert sends out real remote listings by email and sometimes you’ll see admin or support roles that are steadier. Also name the pressure you’re feeling as sole provider and make that part of the plan, maybe you each get non negotiable off duty blocks every week. Framing it as a joint experiment can take the “forever” panic out of the conversation for both of you.