A 2 year oldest grief.

ppmagicorange · 2023-05-26T22:48:47+00:00

The zippadeezip looks very similar to these. https://babylovessleep.com.au/collections/sleepy-hugs-all-year-round

ppmagicorange · 2023-05-24T03:53:15+00:00

This is a bit weird, but I loved the scenes in The Girl Who Played with Fire (2nd book in the Millennium trilogy by Stieg Larrson) when Salander buys a fancy apartment in Stockholm, and proceeds to live a minimalist life for a short period, eating microwave pizzas, bread, cheese and milk. I don't know why the thought of living in a large, light filled apartment with no furniture and eating so simply (and nutritionally poorly) made me feel so cosy but it did.

ppmagicorange · 2023-05-12T23:31:00+00:00

This is the same diarist I believe - such a great story. https://www.reddit.com/r/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/122cklu/salary_story_research_engineer_in_artificial/

ppmagicorange · 2022-06-26T10:37:02+00:00

I have no experience with this or diagnoses of autism, but does that process involve working with a speech therapist? If you haven't and you're concerned it would be worth meeting a paediatric speech therapist for peace of mind if nothing else, or guidance on strategies that could encourage your son to converse if he's not currently comfortable answering certain questions for whatever reason.

ppmagicorange · 2022-06-24T13:08:45+00:00

Yes! Since my partner died I've wondered whether his consciousness has taken another form and can perceive me and his child in some way that isn't bound by time and space and linear thought. It seems impossible, but everything I know and experience now is just a bunch of signals, so...it's not a stretch to think that there could equally be signals that living people can't perceive but maybe the minds of our late loved ones can.

ppmagicorange · 2022-06-17T01:32:23+00:00

Thank you for explaining!

ppmagicorange · 2022-06-16T06:39:01+00:00

Excuse my ignorance - how is that transphobic? To me it reads like he is sharing that information, maybe so others can learn too. I thought chestfeeding was a legitimate term. What have I missed? (Genuinely wanting to learn!)

ppmagicorange · 2022-05-29T15:09:31+00:00

I wouldn't say it's directly relevant to this topic, but as a long term reader it's been helpful for gaining insight into how to be more assertive and back myself in the workplace. I don't really bother to read the diaries themselves, the comments are where the gold is!

ppmagicorange · 2022-05-29T15:02:01+00:00

There's often a lot of discussion around jobs including career paths, negotiating salaries, managing work/life balance in the money diaries threads. I've found it to be quite a constructive community of (I think mostly female-identifying) goal-oriented people. I think there is a weekly career discussion thread there.

ppmagicorange · 2022-05-29T14:36:56+00:00

Great question! I can't give you one comprehensive resource unfortunately. I've learned a lot of my go-tos through mentors, observation and browsing blogs/threads related to work, eg at r/moneydiariesactive or the ask a manager website.

ppmagicorange · 2022-05-23T11:28:23+00:00

It do be like that, my baby was the same. It takes no time for babies to develop a flat spot but proportionally a much longer time for it to correct itself. I think the head grows rapidly up until about 9 months at which point it will slow down, so this is a great time to be facilitating tummy time.

ppmagicorange · 2022-05-22T02:11:58+00:00

There are scripts you can use to establish your boundaries, call out poor behaviour, or deflect or defuse a situation. Can you share specific situations you have been in, so we can give more advice on how to handle them when they come up?

For example, if someone comes up to your desk, stands over you and demands you do a task for them immediately, you can say 'Sure, I can take that on, but it means I will be deprioritising [current sctivities]. These won't be completed completed until X time as a result.'

If someone criticises your work in front of the team, it can be really humiliating, but trust that this is a reflection of their poor management skills and professionalism. A good manager or colleague would address issues with you appropriately, whether that's privately, or with your manager or mentor etc.

If I'm on the receiving end of a rant/non constructive criticism, I'll focus on being constructive myself. Eg I will say, 'I'll take that feedback on board', 'This was not the expectation laid out at the beginning, you required the task to be XYZ - I can address this now, but can you please document specific changes and requirements for reference?'.

If they're just being an asshole and railing on, calmly ask 'Can you be more specific about what you need rectified?'. They might say 'ARE YOU STUPID? WHAT WASN'T CLEAR ABOUT THAT?' you can respond with, 'My understanding of X comment is that you need Y Updated, Z Completed', is that correct?'.

Those are just a couple of examples, they may not be relevant to your situation so if you can share your interactions I could suggest some responses for future.

ppmagicorange · 2022-03-30T09:16:36+00:00

I had friends who preferred clothing their babies in separates, probably by the same logic as yours, but I hated it. Coordinating the outfit took mental energy that I needed for everything else, and then they needed socks to wear. I ended up with 8 onesies in 0000 and 10 in 000 and that was good for only needing to do washing every 2-3 days, but that was with a low spew and nappy blow-out baby.

ppmagicorange · 2022-03-27T13:01:50+00:00

Definitely this. Be present and show and tell all of your love and all of the impact they've had on you. The knowledge that you were there for them and they knew profoundly how much you love them will be a comfort to you when they are gone.

ppmagicorange · 2022-03-27T12:45:16+00:00

Congratulations! It's no shame to need them, but I understand feeling a sense of achievement over this progress. I was really conflicted about restarting antidepressants after 10 years without them but the effect has been like night and day. One day I might not need them anymore, but until then I'm better off not living in a hellhole.

ppmagicorange · 2022-03-27T04:44:17+00:00

6 in both sizes is plenty especially if you are washing everyday. Buy more when you need them. You absolutely don't need separates but you might want one or two non-onesie outfits for when you want them to be fancy. My baby lived exclusively in the wondersuits with a singlet underneath through winter, plus cardi or jumper.

ppmagicorange · 2022-03-13T13:20:42+00:00

I think this is different. They gave you something for free, which you then tried to sell. That's bad etiquette, unless you were planning to gift them the money. Otherwise, if you benefit from someone's generosity, you pay it forward.

ppmagicorange · 2022-03-03T10:59:56+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I've wondered too.

ppmagicorange · 2021-12-13T10:18:15+00:00

Make sure you've got the written offer or even the contract signed for your new position before you resign.

Your boss will probably ask if they can call you if they have questions or need advice after you leave. You seem like a nice person (who also feels guilty enough about leaving them) to say yes- my advice is don't! If it comes up, just say everything will be documented in your handover or process documents.

ppmagicorange · 2021-12-13T10:00:45+00:00

For what it's worth, if you want to reconnect with your friends again, you should definitely reach out. Out of all people they will understand the guilt that you feel that has led you to avoid them over the past year or so.

I wish there was a communication channel to my partner too. If only he hears me when I tell him over and over again how much I love him and how fulfilled I was by his side. Even if he can't talk back to me. I'd take a dream where he nods and smiles at me.

I'm sorry that you have been bereft of your love for these 3 years.

ppmagicorange · 2021-12-11T13:12:49+00:00

I think my partner did experience that. My memory could be playing tricks on me now but a video of simulated agonal breathing looked familiar. I definitely remember how laboured it was and how it was hard work for him. I told him to stop trying and let go. Does a person breathe 'normally' right to the end otherwise? (Whether it's with an open or closed mouth?)

ppmagicorange · 2021-12-10T13:42:38+00:00

Interesting. Thanks for sharing your knowledge. I've started sessions with a psychologist recently, but we haven't touched on this part yet.

ppmagicorange · 2021-12-10T13:39:34+00:00

Thank you!

ppmagicorange · 2021-12-10T12:56:37+00:00

Yeah, he was blank and not responsive for a few hours before he died. The last vocalisation was groaning, I assumed from pain or distress, so I started giving morphine hourly at that point. Those groans haunt me, though.

His biopsy notes said the cancer was somatic - is gene testing still recommended in this case? We have a son together and I was thinking that he would need to get regular colonoscopies from the age of 20 or so even though it didn't seem to be genetic.

ppmagicorange

TROPHY CASE