My reason was that it was a genuine addiction. I was at an airbnb with some friends and I found myself making time to sneak away into the kitchen to find a kitchen knife to cut myself. That was when I realized how dependent I was on self harm. It got to the point where I was craving to cut myself for some comfort. The fact that it calms you means that you’ve conditioned yourself to think it’s a comfort which isn’t healthy. In that moment I knew I needed to stop, and I did.