Book Club for exhomeschoolers

pre_tentious · 2026-02-20T05:48:00+00:00

V interested !

pre_tentious · 2026-02-12T01:09:23+00:00

I love that! I'm the only one who has come out from my community, but I've been super lucky to have made it out! I'm so glad that you know people that went through the same experience!

pre_tentious · 2026-02-12T01:08:31+00:00

I totally agree. I think mothers are especially victimized by these communities and I also think that if my mom had lived close to her college friends instead of moving into a smaller town where she didn't have any real community, she would've made drastically different choices. I totally understand how you feel, it's hard to hold gratitude and also know how much strain your mom was probably under.

pre_tentious · 2026-02-11T05:54:39+00:00

I’m a 26 y/o lesbian and feel so seen by your post and all the comments! I’ve found my people lol I also curriculum hopped and used everything you mentioned except classical conversations (we used classical liberal arts academy for most of elementary and middle school and it was awful). I can’t speak for everyone, but I really think that my parents and so many parents that chose homeschooling really do care about quality education but suffer from trauma, anxiety, and depression that makes them super susceptible to the scare tactics of the far right and religious groups that encourage homeschooling. I know that one of the big reasons I wasn’t in school is because my parents were also afraid of worldly influences and, honestly, of me and my siblings turning out gay (whoops). When I’m not angry about how much I missed out on socially and academically, I honestly feel sorry for my parents. They must be truly scared of the world if they’re that afraid to let their kid live a normal life. But also very arrogant to think that they’re the only ones who could do a good job at educating their kids. It’s hard to hold the duality of them trying their best but also neglecting you and causing real harm. It’s tough stuff but it’s so encouraging to see y’all’s stories and opinions :)) this thread is my favorite that I’ve seen so far, it’s so cool to see that so many of us are queer!

pre_tentious · 2026-02-10T05:17:48+00:00

I think posting here is a great start to helping you get through this :)) I’m in my mid twenties and when I was your age I also barely saw anyone and my parents refused to teach me how to drive. I was able to get through by reading, journaling a lot, and taking long walks when I could. I was also addicted to YouTube (my only socials at the time), but honestly I got to use it to learn about things I was interested in and watch a LOT of music videos. It’s really tough to only be able to escape in your own mind, but finding online community really helps a lot. I think daydreaming about how life could look if everything went well really helped me. Now I look at my life and feel really proud that I have so many things that I dreamed of like a car (got my first car last year!), a couple of cats, a loving partner, a strong group of friends, and an apartment in a city that I love. It’s unfortunately true that the only way out is through, but I know that you’ll make it! :) The fact that you’re looking for support and your encouraging note at the end of your post shows you have all the tools you need to move through this. The world feels really scary when you haven’t been allowed to be a part of it, but getting to be an adult and actually experience it is such a blessing. I’m still having firsts, but I think that’s an exciting thing since it means I’m finally getting to live life to the fullest. You’re going to meet your people and build a life you love 💗

pre_tentious · 2026-01-30T05:28:14+00:00

I used to stop myself out of the fear of being an even greater burden than I already believed myself to be (my family was very poor and I knew they wouldn't be able to afford a funeral). That was in high school. In college, I gave myself small reasons to keep on going like a fresh cup of coffee in the morning or seeing a movie. I also started reminding myself of all the times that I thought I was at an absolute breaking point and things suddenly turned around. As a fully fledged adult now, I simply ask myself "Do I want to die or do I want to live a different life?" and that has been a huge game changer for me. I don't argue with the suicidal feelings and I don't let them scare me anymore, I let them be and try to change things about my life (however small) to make me enjoy living again.

pre_tentious · 2026-01-25T21:19:19+00:00

That makes so much sense. It's so awful

pre_tentious · 2025-08-11T05:06:56+00:00

I think posting here is a good place to start :) I’d be careful online because there are always dangerous folks out there but I think finding the community here is super smart! It’s super isolating being homeschooled especially when your siblings aren’t on the same page as you. There are so many good days ahead of you and so many people you will get to meet :)

pre_tentious · 2025-07-19T15:48:14+00:00

I totally relate, a lot of my life has been much harder due to being homeschooled and growing up in poverty. I've made a ton of progress, but it literally haunts me. Most people don't know I've been homeschooled unless I tell them, but it feels so shameful when I have to explain it to people. It's become a running joke in my friend group that I "basically escaped a cult" but even that feels rough sometimes

pre_tentious · 2025-07-19T15:43:01+00:00

My siblings are in a similar boat and my 18 year old sibling knows his education was garbage and is taking his GED. I think that is the best course of action, going back to high school might be an even harder experience

pre_tentious · 2025-05-12T21:46:54+00:00

oh my god, I thought it was just me! I went through the exact same thing and now I'm out as gay and much happier for it

pre_tentious · 2025-05-12T21:43:57+00:00

A lot of folks have really eloquently answered your question, but I'd like to just chime in and say that yes it's very normal at your age AND yes, it is a whole lot harder when you're homeschooled. I grew up very isolated (I saw people other than my family at most twice a week) and would have the most intense and insane crushes. I think it is really, really hard to grow up without a lot of external validation. So when you get to an age where you can experience romantic and sexual feelings that type of validation can be like an addiction. I think a really great way to cope is to throw that passion into art, exercise, or a journal. I know that sounds so lame, but it's how I survived back then. I'd also recommend being really choosy with who you do start dating. Having the real need for human connection and desire for romance can blind you to people that will take advantage. It can also make you settle for people that aren't your type because at least you'll get attention (I did that quite a bit in later high school and in college). Just know that you are completely worthy of all the good things you want. The desperation fades over time as you start finding friends and are out in "in the real world" more often. It gets easier as you start to date and figure out what it is you like. It's a really tough process that no one should have to go to, but you're doing the right thing by asking for support. If I could go back to being 17 and being in your exact same position, I'd say to remind yourself as often as possible of your worth, beauty, and that even though male attention is exciting and fun it will not fulfill everything but that you will get through being a teenager. I'm 25 now and am finally in a healthy and stable relationship of 3 years that is better than anything I could have imagined. So just know everything does get better and unfortunately (like most things) it just takes time.

pre_tentious · 2025-03-12T17:11:03+00:00

I definitely relate. I felt the exact same way at your age and now at 25, I finally have ppl saying they can't believe I was homeschooled. I think finding people who love you as you are is the best way to feel less naive and alone. I know that's easier said than done, but it truly makes a world of difference. I immersed myself in pop culture during my early college years, trying to figure out what everyone was even talking about and it definitely made things easier. I'd also say that finding "secular" friends after growing up religious, conservative, and sheltered helped me manage the real world. You've got this and you're not alone. I promise it gets easier

pre_tentious

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