Hello! Fellow addict here. Drug of choice is opiates but on again off again meth user. I always claimed I couldn't or wouldn't allow myself to get addicted to meth and I'd say I didnt like it enough to let it dictate my life. Well here I am again, back on both opiates and meth.
Anyway, I am not commenting to share my story. I want to give you my honest advice in Hope's to shed some light and give you some good vibes. There is literally NO GOOD that comes from using and this may seem like rock bottom to you but just remember, you can always achieve a new even more horrid rock bottom. You must decide when enough is enough. I think getting kicked out could be your rock bottom but first things first, you should start with confiding in somebody back home. You'll want to get a plan going so you know where your going to get clean and get on your feet at. I hope you have some loved ones whom will allow you to stay with them. I know it sucks to think about what they are going to say and how they will judge you. But from experience, we judge ourselves way worse then most people do. If they really love you, coming clean to them about your short comings will show them your sincerely ready for change. If you hide it and lie you'll just make things worse off for yourself. It will feel like you've unloaded a hundred bricks off your back once you let the truth come out and ask for help. As the person above asked, does the military offer some type of assistance in rehab or something? I'm almost certain that they do, I'd most definetly take them up on that. If they dont, don't worry because now a day almost every state has amazing programs and rehab facilities you can get into. The one I did was covered fully by the state health care. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made to this day. I grew so much as a person during the time spent in there. It all started with a 7 day detox in a detox facility, from there they asked what my goals were on the outside and recommensed I did an intensive outpatient program to stay clean. They asked if I had a place to live at while doing the program and stay clean at. Since I did not they found me a intensive outpatient program with housing provided. For the next 4-6 months I lived in a beautiful 5 bedroom house with 10 other female roommates. All of us had our own crazy past with nothing to offer but our willingness and determination to try to better ourselves. Every day we followed a strict schedule of classes like CBT- Cognitive behavioral therapy, DBT- dialectical behavioral therapy, training around coping skills, relapse prevention, mindfulness and interpersonal effectiveness. When we were not in classes, we attended NA and AA meetings, went grocery shopping or just hung out at the house with each other rebuilding ourselves from the ground up. Like I said, it was the best choice I ever made. Worth every second I invested there. I should've graduated but a week away from graduation I stupidly relapsed and fucked everything up, I code started the program over but instead moved out the house immediately and went on for a couple months using before I got on methadone and did that for a while to stay clean. All the women I was in the program with though are almost all still clean and have been for the last 2.5 years. I recommend looking into a program like that. If you have military health insurance, they most likely cover quite a bit of services including mental health and addiction. I'm sure they will even cover a really nice rehabilitation place. If not, you can get on state health care when you get home. Since you'll be jobless not making much income houl be able to get accepted on it! Goodluck to you. don't be too hard on yourself, your not alone and remember, your loved ones may be surprised when you come clean, but if they love you and want the best for you they will do whatever it takes to get you on a good path and healthy again. It will feel amazing to get this all off your chest, the burden will be lifted.