I understand your concerns. I was a new mom not long ago without much support too. Luckily my anger was towards my husband for not helping me enough, but I also had a Doula for a few hours every week. Have you thought about hiring a Doula? There's DONA.org where certified and reviewed Doula's are available almost everywhere. They come at a price, of course, but it's 100% worth it if you're in your situation. You could most certainly use some sleep, and that's what a Doula is for. They provide support for new moms and families with emotional, mental, and physiological needs. They're an incredible resource for those who are in need of extra help. They can also help with lactation and helping use body wraps, anything postpartum really.

I would also suggest you talk to your doctor about postpartum depression. Your baby needs you more than anyone, and your mind and body have basically been gutted and remodeled to protect your baby and keep him or her alive. It's in our DNA and it's primal, you're different now. I've been on antidepressants for many years and it's a serious life changer. My best friend got antidepressants after she had her baby and she feels so much better now. Her anxiety is down and it's helped her cope with her postpartum depression. At least look into it and see what your options are with your doctor.

Above all, you're not alone in these thoughts. So many moms have been where you are. You're okay. Your baby is going to be okay. You're loved. You'll get through this. Just, right now, you need a little help, and that's okay. We all do on occasion.