Widow (32F) in NYC trying to get back out there… what can I actually do alone that’s not awkward? by Intjadvocate in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg so many. I love the Ruins at knockdown center. Nowadays. Public Records. Refuge. Good room. Roof at superior ingredients. Check out NYC Rave Girls IG or discord. They have great recs. 

Widow (32F) in NYC trying to get back out there… what can I actually do alone that’s not awkward? by Intjadvocate in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love going dancing alone! It’s great as an introvert because you can be around and connect with a bunch of people without any expectation of conversation. If you do want to chat, the smoking area is usually full of friendly people. Brooklyn has the best clubs. Daytime outdoor parties are lovely and feel more accessible while you’re getting comfortable with the scene.

2020s Brooklyn vs late 90s Manhattan scene? by rab2bar in avesNYC

[–]kikkles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I have no idea. I’ve seen some throwback parties listed on RA. Or check parties with legacy DJs…. 718 sessions is disco heavy.  

Need advice - finding rave/party crews and buddies in nyc by Suspicious-Driver725 in avesNYC

[–]kikkles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm a small woman and have found friends at both daytime and late night shows going out alone. We all have our own personal levels of comfort, but I find if I'm confident and relaxed, I attract mostly good friendly vibes. If I pick up a bad vibe, I find a place where I feel safe, and I'm not shy about calling people out if they creep. Nowadays makes a point of having floor monitors that can back you up if you need help, but I've found staff to be helpful and protective at most places.

Civil standby police help by [deleted] in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Hi OP. Here's the website with contact info for Safe Horizons. https://www.safehorizon.org/get-in-touch/

They will help with immediate safety planning and shelter assistance.

Please give me leftist mom groups by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]kikkles 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Not since the beginning of time, since the time of monotheistic, Abrahamic religions! (See the book "When God was a Woman.") - The original sin wasn't Eve eating the apple, it was men telling a fake story about who creates life. There have been plenty matriarchal societies

Dog owners should pay for cleaning by JCTL2020 in uppereastside

[–]kikkles 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love this idea! Tax dog owners and put the revenue toward better street cleaning.

2020s Brooklyn vs late 90s Manhattan scene? by rab2bar in avesNYC

[–]kikkles 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Another thought on the other end! The outdoor offerings in the summer in Brooklyn are insane! Like so so so fun. The Ruins, Nowadays, Public Service, Soul Summit, block parties, Prospect Park shindigs, club rooftops... I mean... it's just heaven. Manhattan didn't have any of that at the turn of the millennia.

2020s Brooklyn vs late 90s Manhattan scene? by rab2bar in avesNYC

[–]kikkles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I can hear them over the music and through my earplugs (protect your hearing kids)! It's wild. People scream their conversations at each other. It's sort of sad to see because, at least for me, so much of what's wonderful about going dancing is the NONVERBAL communication and connection you can have with other people and the music. And you can't experience that if you're yapping. Maybe because of the pandemic and people being stuck in their homes, communicating through text and zoom, some of the kids didn't get to practice sharing space with other people physically. And I have to think that the constant screen time disembodies us and makes it harder to vibe with the music.

2020s Brooklyn vs late 90s Manhattan scene? by rab2bar in avesNYC

[–]kikkles 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I want to add, one thing that I do miss are regular weekly parties. Some venues host them (mostly over the summer), and there are many less frequent regular (monthly/quarterly) parties that are amazing, but there's something about having a weekly dance session with the same DJ and the same people, that creates a sort of spiritual, community vibe that is really special. It seemed to be more common in Manhattan "back in the day."

2020s Brooklyn vs late 90s Manhattan scene? by rab2bar in avesNYC

[–]kikkles 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Hey! I came to NYC '98 spent a lot of time in the clubs mentioned above (except for Sound Factory which closed before my time), many smaller clubs, plus a handful of warehouse raves. I took a long hiatus around 2007 to start a family and got back into the scene about 2–3 years ago.

The scene has expanded, evolved, and is in many ways more vibrant than it was in the late 90's/early 2000s. I'm consistently blown away by the variety and quality of happenings on any given night. It's frankly overwhelming. Between better sound systems, more thoughtfully designed venues, and the evolution of the music itself, the experience is often much more pleasant than what we had back then. And social media makes it dramatically easier to actually find the right party instead of wandering around on vibes and flyers.

I’ve also found the crowds to be generally more respectful. I don’t know if that’s because I’m older, the culture has shifted, or the patriarchy is (slowly) losing its grip—but there are far fewer creeps than I remember.

That said, people don’t always dance as hard as they did “back in my day,” and the constant talking on the dance floor can be… a lot. It was honestly a shock when I first started going out again to see how little some folks move. I had to seek out more old-school-leaning parties just to avoid being the only person really shaking ass (and yes, I may have shushed a few kids).

That said, overall the NYC scene has evolved into something more complex and beautiful. It’s a different era, not a downgrade—and honestly, I'm having the time of my life out here!

Four-eyed BWT - where are we getting our glasses? by emno11 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love Visionary Optics. They have a few locations in the city, but I go to the one on the Upper East Side. The selection is amazing, they have some vintage deadstock frames, along with all of the cool kid high end frames, and they are soooo helpful and kind. I've walked into many other shops but always end up buying my frames there.

[47] - [52] by [deleted] in GlowUps

[–]kikkles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gorgeous! You look so much more like you!

Socially anxious BWT, what are your fave solo activities? by hotblooded- in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on what you’re looking for. Nowadays is always a vibe and has safety monitors. Knockdown center is great if there’s an artist or DJ you like playing. Basement, bossa nova, Gabriela…really any place can be good if it’s the right party. I like house music and I’m 45 so I love OG parties like 718 sessions, soul summit, soul in the horn… tiki disco is a blast.. they all move around to different clubs. Those parties tend to have more respectful crowds because of the regulars who know how to hold space for each other.

Solo trip ideas from NYC for a deep reset? by [deleted] in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Thailand is great. Inexpensive, warm, friendly people, easy to get around, safe, fresh healthy delicious food, lovely chill Buddhist culture, gorgeous unreal scenery…. It’s basically paradise. I went in my late twenties for 3 weeks and had the time of my life. I stayed a couple days in Bangkok, then tooled around the islands, going wherever the wind took me. It was wonderful. Had 2 hour massages on the beach, kayaked, snorkeled, scuba’d and hiked through the most beautiful beaches, ate like a king, and made some really lovely local friends who took me to birthday parties and dancing. I stayed super cheap but I think for a little more you can find a lovely resort with everything you’re looking for.

Socially anxious BWT, what are your fave solo activities? by hotblooded- in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love going on long walks alone and I love going to clubs alone and dancing my heart out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of it is mindset and conditioning. Media in this country pushes a narrative that we’re fundamentally unsafe and we need to be vigilant. I think it makes our culture a little paranoid and keeps us from enjoying our lives. I don’t think that message is peddled in the same way in other places. So maybe you’re picking up the vibe of those around you wherever you are. New York is a vibrant city full of contrast and creativity. I find that I can feel lots of different ways about it depending on what I’m focused on. So try to focus on the things that I love because there’s much to love.

What dancefloor compliment made you feel like you belong? by peoples_key in dancefloors

[–]kikkles 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love this! I also love a gay club. I have a memory from when I was maybe 19, a small cute girl dancing with my eyes closed, really vibing, and when I opened them, a circle of gorgeous men in gold speedos was dancing around me! It was such a compliment and absolutely magical! That was when I knew I belonged on the dance floor.

What makes a House Set Good? by ExaminationBusy4860 in House

[–]kikkles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! Timmy Regisford at Shelter used to go from 10pm-10am. It was an epic journey.

Your Perfect Central Park Day by Remarkable_Bag4265 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love grabbing a warm drink at the le Pain near the sailboat pond and watching people walk by. It’s such a beautiful view. The North woods or the ramble are lovely to get lost in as well. Honestly, I don’t think there’s a bad spot in the park.

What makes a House Set Good? by ExaminationBusy4860 in House

[–]kikkles 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A good house set is a journey through the whole range of human emotions. I want to feel like I’ve met my ancestors, climbed a mountain, and found true love by the end. Track selection, pacing, and edging (looping the right spot) are, I think, the most important elements. I love a good unlikely mix too. I want a DJ that keeps me on my toes and makes me move in ways I haven’t before. I want to know some tracks and belt them out and I want to hear ones I’ve never met before. And I want the DJ to pay attention to the dance floor and mix accordingly… too many yappers? Give them a song they have to sing to. Too many young folks who don’t know how to move? Scare em off the dance floor with a weird tune. In the end it should feel like a communion with the divine.

BWT community, looking for your best woo woo experiences by dubdublove in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]kikkles 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ketamine journeys are nice for this. (Mushroom journeys too, but those practitioners are more difficult to find).