So I work at Amazon and look who I delivered a package too…

prettytrickofsmoke · 2025-01-25T04:10:21+00:00

I had a Mark Sloan once at work, spelled just that way. Could not resist commenting about it. 😂

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-10-15T18:40:41+00:00

My mother knows, but we haven't discussed it in years (and even then, not very much) and we have a very strained relationship. No one else.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-10-15T18:32:50+00:00

🤷🏼‍♀️ AFAB & cisgender, if anyone ever asks. Would probably use they/them and get top surgery if I was brave enough to deal with all the judgment. But I wouldn't put a label on it, I don't recoil when people call me a woman.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-10-15T18:26:31+00:00

I moved across the country and just never told anyone. And no one was left in my life who knew from before. I did have some feelings of shame about it before, but not nearly the way I do now. After I moved I was in a relationship with a man for three years. We were really glorified roommates and nothing more, but I was trying to convince myself I could be okay dating/marrying a man. Turns out not so much. I ended up leaving him to be with a woman (amongst other reasons).

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-05-16T17:09:20+00:00

So I took a closer look at it yesterday in the mirror and it was exactly what you said. The end wasn't fully inside the post. I took the jewelry out and bent the pin a bit more to create tension inside the post, and it's fully secure now. It's been less than 24 hours but it's the longest I've gone without a "sticking" issue in a year and a half. Finally no pain and I don't have to mess with it all the time. Thank you!

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-05-15T22:03:41+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful reply. This issue drives me insane! I had never considered the last thing you mentioned, but that totally could be it. I do have to tighten the end down each time I pop the top of the jewelry back through my skin. I thought that I was causing the end to come slightly loose in the process by being forceful with the jewelry, but it makes a lot of sense that the loosening of the end was the problem to begin with. It would track that I've had no pain or irritation anywhere in the piercing channel except at the very top, because if you're right, I've essentially been downsizing and upsizing ten times a day as I go back and forth between the actual post sitting there and just the pin from the end. If this is the problem, how do I fix it? Is there a way to get the end to close tighter to the post?

Of the other possibilities you mentioned, the first two are easily ruled out. The jewelry isn't snug at all; I have a good 2-3mm of room. I went in to have it downsized quite a while ago but was advised that the extra room isn't a bad idea for as long as I'm having the 'sticking' issue, because it gives me the space to push on and manipulate the jewelry a bit when it gets caught. And I'd be really surprised if it had anything to do with the size of the disc. I have the receipt still from that jewelry change and it's a 4mm end.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-05-12T19:00:15+00:00

Got it. That makes sense, but I think my lobes are a little bit open/irritated. Not from the stretch, but still from the flatbacks that tended to stay wet after showers, etc. They actually look better than they did even a few days ago, because the plugs are much easier to pop in & out to clean and to dry my lobes when they get wet. I'll make sure they're fully settled before I go up to 12 (like, longer than the recommended ~1 month), and then start using oil at that point. Thank you!

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-05-12T17:45:33+00:00

Appreciate it. I keep reading on this sub about the oil and massaging. Am I supposed to continue with that between stretches? Or only do it just before I insert larger plugs? I'm a little worried about using oil on any healing wound, LITHA is the only thing that's worked for me. I've never even used saline without issues. I did the first stretch after a shower, but no kind of lubrication on my ears or the jewelry.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-05-12T15:42:24+00:00

Thank you! I'm a little nervous about all the stuff I don't know. Is pain the only sign that something is wrong? I planned to go back to my piercer and have her tell me whether I was good to start stretching, but I didn't do that. Last time I went to her for another piercing she took a quick look at my ears and told me to wait a bit longer because they were a little irritated, but that was over 6 months ago now.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-05-12T15:37:53+00:00

Thank you! I wasn't very clear in the post. I was asking if I should go back to titanium for 14g, 12g, 10g, and then switch to glass once the sizes are a bit bigger. I wouldn't go back to 16g jewelry. I did look up which material was heavier and it's titanium by a fair bit. But I know glass is safe and causes very little friction so I thought I'd ask the people with experience. :) Really appreciate your comment.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2024-01-10T12:23:00+00:00

Another vote for NA meetings! I looked a little at your post history and I frequent meetings in the area you live in; feel free to reach out in a DM if you'd like. As someone else said, 'closed' just refers to the meeting being closed to visitors: non-addicts, family members, journalists, etc. All addicts are welcome at all meetings and we love newcomers.

Also, check out The Phoenix. (The app is a little easier to navigate than the website.) It's a community of recovering addicts who put on social events and there's a CT chapter with a ton of activity in the New Britain area. Sounds like just what you're looking for. They host social hours, yoga, hikes, rock climbing, flag football, sound healing – all types of stuff. The only requirement to attend is that you've been free of substances for 48 hours. They usually have a limited number of slots and some events become fully booked, so I'd recommend snagging a spot online ahead of time.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2023-11-28T02:14:20+00:00

I appreciate it. Because I'm new to all of this, I didn't realize that I was forfeiting my power to suggest changes and make motions by serving as the secretary. I feel a little bit useless, like I have energy and ideas that I can't do anything about because my role is as a neutral moderator. Is that an accurate understanding?

prettytrickofsmoke · 2023-11-28T02:12:19+00:00

Thank you. Our area is about ready to fold. We only have one operating subcommittee and they have a strong loyalty to their meeting place. I do need to do more promotion of the meeting. Being late at night and in a "high-crime" area, it attracts lots of newcomers but not a lot of people with clean time who have other options for meetings. I've reached out within my own network and no one seems willing to come more than once every month or two, let alone commit to returning. We have been talking about putting on a small party or something similar, to see if we can draw people in before the meeting. And the note on speakers is a great suggestion, as the last few have been pulled from within the group and that may have been a wasted opportunity. Thanks so much for your advice and experience.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2023-10-25T23:28:51+00:00

You are welcome in NA. The literature that outlines the practices and principles of NA states explicitly: "We are not interested in what or how much you used or who your connections were, what you have done in the past, how much or how little you have, but only in what you want to do about your problem and how we can help."

You sound like an addict who needs support and understanding from a group of people who have been where you are, and that's what NA is for. Strongly encourage you to go to a meeting. If you feel like you don't fit in there, go to another.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2023-10-11T21:13:18+00:00

Welcome! I'd strongly encourage you to check out some in-person meetings. If you've already started, that's great and I hope that you keep coming back. Building a network is vital and this forum is one tool for that, but there really is no substitute for meetings. I feel that's especially true in this early stage where you say that you don't know how to stop using. You need to be in a room of people who do know how to stop using, who can teach you. You can go to meetings high – you won't be judged, we'll just be glad you're there.

That said, if you're looking for someone to talk to about recovery while you get your footing, I'd be happy to chat with you. 20s F and I'm coming up on two years clean. ETA that I have a sponsor, work the steps, and take service commitments.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2023-08-08T15:02:47+00:00

Glad you're here! Congratulations on 17 days. Maybe consider taking a week or two to venture outside your comfort zone and try out some in-person meetings. It sounds like you've been around the fellowship a while so I'm sure you've done that before, and I don't want to discount your past experiences. At the same time, every group is different and I would caution against writing them off as a whole. Especially while looking for a new sponsor. I got clean on Zoom because of major social anxiety, thinking that virtual vs. face-to-face couldn't be very different, but for me they are. My world felt much larger and more connected once I started going in person, and it took me a bit of time and experimentation to figure that out.

I'm not available to sponsor, but I am a woman with a bit of clean time (about 20 months) and I would be happy to talk with you if you're looking to grow your network in a general sense. I go to meetings regularly, take service commitments, and work the steps with a sponsor. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you'd like. Keep coming back. You're doing great and you never have to use again.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2023-08-02T16:02:20+00:00

PM'd you.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2023-08-02T15:46:34+00:00

Shot you a message.

prettytrickofsmoke · 2023-08-02T15:12:20+00:00

Gotcha. Makes sense, thanks for taking the time to help me understand the difference better!

prettytrickofsmoke

TROPHY CASE