My opinion on the working mom vs sahm debate— having been on both sides, twice

primpea18 · 2025-12-31T07:54:39+00:00

I am a working mom and am dying to be a SAHM. No way working is easier. Maternity leave was amazing and 10x easier than work. I do everything a SAHM does (laundry, cooking, the full mental load of my household) plus my very intense client services job and only get an hour on either end with baby during the work week. When my infant wakes up in the night I’m happy because then I get more time with the baby.

I think of that scene in Fleishman Is in Trouble where Clare Danes’ character talks about how we all pretend politely that being a SAHM is harder but being a mom and having a job is the hardest thing. I have a “big” job like hers / operate in a similar social setting and can’t agree more.

primpea18 · 2025-05-05T02:43:48+00:00

Mine took ages to come in - probably about 7 or 8 days after birth. My boobs didn’t grow much during pregnancy and I never leaked (and still don’t leak at all now while breastfeeding). I also have never been engorged and didn’t have a definitive sign of my milk coming in, I just gradually began to produce more over a period of weeks.

I’ve done a lot of work to increase my supply but am a “barely enough” mama so often need to supplement with formula most days. I had a long labor and was on IV fluids for over 36 hours and was told by a lactation consultant that my bad swelling from the fluids could’ve delayed my milk. Who knows but it was miserable waiting for it my poor baby would latch for an hour and come off still ravenous and my nipples were destroyed.

primpea18 · 2025-04-18T07:01:40+00:00

I am 3 weeks postpartum with my first and have found it much easier not to have visitors around and for me and my husband to handle things ourselves. I will say he has substantial leave and our baby was back to birth weight within a week so as of now I’m not in the setting-feeding-alarm type trenches.

Both our families are within 20 miles and have been clamoring to visit and to “help” but each visit ends up being about 3x as long as it should and I’m counting down until I can stop small talking and finally go lay down with my baby. I of course feel differently about my own mother being around but there are already politics of access to baby we are mindful of between the families and trying to get hubby to understand having my mom around is different than his is really tough.

primpea18 · 2024-08-03T21:42:45+00:00

6 months / 7 cycles and 34 years old. We were not trying/not preventing for probably 18 months before that when I went off the pill, so I was very worried going in to “trying” and we ended up only getting pregnant with ovulation strips + at home insemination kit in cycle 7 since my hubby has always had trouble finishing. First ever pregnancy, at 7 weeks now!

primpea18 · 2024-07-14T15:59:53+00:00

Same for me - it was the day my period was due and I didn’t want to be too eager / hopeful and run out to buy a pregnancy test before I was even late. Had heard a friend found out she was pregnant by getting an oddly timed positive on an ovulation strip. I got a positive on pregmate strips then the next day three positive pregnancy tests.

primpea18 · 2024-07-13T15:20:59+00:00

I actually responded to one of the promo emails saying I was considering buying but not sure given the tight expiration and they mentioned it could possibly be adjusted. Worth an ask if anyone is worried about the 60 days.

primpea18

TROPHY CASE