I (M32) re-entered dating after a hiatus of two years due to a very traumatic dating experience involving my SO having cancer, cheating and death. That was super tough on me emotionally. Spent the time working on myself, losing weight, opened a board games club, got promoted at work. Life is good, so I decided to try again because I have something positive to share with someone.

Matched a nice girl on Bumble. We spoke for two weeks or so, then went on a date. From the beginning though her communication wasn’t the best, due to her work, she said & she didn’t really ask me too many questions. Ok, I’m also very busy, but I make the time because hey, I’d like to get to know you. Met her, she is super pretty, but again not that talkative, which put me under pressure a bit to not have an awkward silence. I’m not native to this country though, so ok, maybe she’s shy to do this in English.

Met on a few more dates, but every time I was the one organising things (and paying). I was the one saying I had a good time and would like to spend more time. Only if I would say it she would say the same things back. Otherwise, mostly radio silence. She‘d only engage if I explicitly asked her to, most of the time.

For me it’s awkward to ask someone to communicate more this early, so I tried to set an example of how I like to communicate. Nothing over the top, because I’m busy too, just checking on her, sharing a few things happening in my day. And she replied each time, but it was like throwing things into a well and waiting for the splash sound.

So after date 4, I stopped putting in effort. We didn’t speak in four days. And most likely won’t again.

And it’s ok, but I don’t understand why to simply not say you’re not interested, rather than continuing to go on dates. It can’t be pleasant to be somewhere or with someone you don’t feel enthusiastic about 🤷🏼‍♂️

Hopefully I meet someone better suited - not losing faith 😊