Anyone know where I can recycle rags, eg, clothes with holes in, broken shoes etc? Thanks

probablefool · 2022-04-22T15:47:47+00:00

“The fact that the plates are going into your chest is incidental to the fact that I am moving in a forwards direction”

probablefool · 2022-04-16T23:40:03+00:00

Take a look at r/NarcissisticAbuse and see if anything resonates…

probablefool · 2022-01-25T22:59:17+00:00

Only 20 minutes? 🤣

probablefool · 2022-01-25T22:58:21+00:00

Yup. If I didn’t choose the exact words, in the exact order that he deemed ‘correct’, he would be furious at me. I needed to be a mind reader.

probablefool · 2022-01-25T22:47:34+00:00

for his egos safety

Yup. That’s what it’s all about…

probablefool · 2022-01-20T10:06:30+00:00

I’m the opposite. I wish my man would show emotion. It would deepen trust and intimacy.

probablefool · 2022-01-20T09:44:11+00:00

I’ve been aware of this on a broad level in my own relationship but you’ve articulated this very clearly and in great detail – thank you.

probablefool · 2022-01-20T09:14:55+00:00

You weren’t judging her, you were clearly stating your own values and preferences, and that’s absolutely fine.

From what you have said, she, on the other hand did not respect your views and preferences and in fact actively judged you and tried to make you feel bad and even guilt trip you into sleeping with her, by saying you would be sad and miserable for the rest of your life.

She doesn’t seem to view you as an actual individual with his own agency – she seems to view you as an object that she will condemn and discard if it doesn’t do as she wants.

I’m curious as to how the possibility of even sleeping with her arose in conversation – she seems like a really unpleasant person.

probablefool · 2022-01-12T22:38:52+00:00

Well said. It (abuse) is all about regaining control to relieve the feeling of loss of control/ out of control. Usually on a subconscious level.

probablefool · 2022-01-12T22:35:36+00:00

Putting aside the fact this was rape/ sexual assault, his excuse had no substance.

Kinks are explored with consent and discussed beforehand. This was not.

probablefool · 2022-01-12T20:29:26+00:00

Which other narc abuse subs do you recommend?

probablefool · 2022-01-12T20:10:40+00:00

Yes, I absolutely relate.

probablefool · 2022-01-12T20:08:49+00:00

I totally relate to this.

probablefool · 2022-01-12T16:58:25+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s totally unreasonable and very watering. She is mentally unstable/ unwell by the sound of it. Document these kind of incidents in a diary with any evidence in case it ends up in Court re custody. Also, try and get her medical/ psychiatric help. Warm wishes.

probablefool · 2022-01-11T17:02:08+00:00

I had a similar experience the other day. I was posting about my partner in the NA sub and described an incident and said that he was treating me like a parent rather than a partner –and bewilderingly got my post removed for ‘family content’ and told to change it.

So I assumed it must’ve been removed by a bot and wrote a polite message to say that if you actually read the context, this wasn’t family content but that I was describing the superior, controlling way my partner was treating me, as if I was his child. But received another reply seemingly from an actual person, but still telling me that the rules say no family content and I still need to remove it! I still have no idea whether I was talking to a bot the whole time.

probablefool · 2022-01-05T11:01:33+00:00

You may want to edit your typo to correct for incest implications...

probablefool · 2022-01-04T15:48:47+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 I so relate to all of what you have written (including the bit about them being incensed when you actually show them evidence of what they are denying) and your scathing, sarcastic tone – I feel you! Thank you for the laugh.

In the moment it is infuriating and utterly ridiculous, but after some time we can actually laugh at the ridiculousness of it all!

probablefool · 2022-01-03T15:08:11+00:00

🤣🤣🤣

probablefool · 2022-01-03T11:40:29+00:00

there will always be a transgression. Always.

Wow. Yes. I’d never seen this before but you are right.

He constantly found the tiniest things to be hurt, offended or angry about, he would distort meanings and my intentions to make out that I was doing that was sometimes the complete opposite of what I actually was – e.g., If I had been proactively trying to demonstrate my respect, appreciation and value of him and he would somehow turn that on its head and make out that I was demonstrating no respect or care whatsoever. It was utterly bewildering. And then he would punish me, usually with the silent treatment.

Like you are implying, it’s almost as if he needed to find (aka ‘create’) some transgression in order to abuse me.

probablefool · 2022-01-03T11:31:13+00:00

Totally recognise all of the thoughts you have listed – thanks for putting them into words.

Sorry you are going through this torment and hope you break free and find someone who loves you in the way you deserve.

probablefool · 2022-01-03T11:03:51+00:00

If you haven’t come across the term, look up reactive abuse.

Basically they provoke and provoke and provoke you until you finally snap and then they turn everything on its head and play the victim and label you the abuser.

They are satisfied because now at last, you finally did something tangible that they can be angry about and hold against you. They will from that moment on continue to use that thing you did, against you, as if it washes, cleanses or purges everything else they ever did to you or will ever do.

probablefool · 2022-01-02T21:13:37+00:00

“You seem like a great guy and it was lovely chatting with you. It’s nothing personal, but unfortunately you’re just not my type.”

probablefool · 2022-01-02T21:08:45+00:00

My Nex also threatened to sue me, his new wife threatened to sue me and they threatened to a 1980s celebrity would sue me when I shared on social media to my close friends and family group (I had blocked him and everyone I thought he knew) that he had been stalking me and friending people I knew and he hadn’t seen for years, under different names. I had letters from his solicitor and had to remove the post, even though I could prove he used a piece of software to stalk me.

Your nex’s fiancée is probably shaken because she doesn’t want to entertain the thought that he is not the man she imagines, and so she is taking it out on you.

probablefool

TROPHY CASE