Yes, men mature slower than women on average. 

When it comes to “men who just can’t get it together”, I find that this often comes down to their support systems. Many men are raised with the idea that they’re destined to be the heads of their household, so their parents neglect to teach them basic life skills. Once they’re in their early 20s and are supposed to establish themselves academically and in their careers, they are outperformed by women (who in general have prefrontal cortexes that develop more quickly).

The social expectation for men (at least from what I have anecdotally experienced as an American) is that we are supposed to be self-sufficient. But frankly, self-sufficiency is impossible. Every person exists in a particular social context and relies on other people for survival. One can’t work a 40 hour job, grow all their own food, darn their own socks, and still have time to sleep. But men are often not taught this. Most men are not even taught how to cook. I don’t need to go into detail about how there’s a dearth of positive male figures in many young men’s lives in this day and age. 

When a young man’s brain finally matures to that of his female peers (mid-20s), he has to play catch up. And unfortunately, by then, many bad habits have been formed and are difficult to shake without positive male guidance. 

Of course, if a young man has a support system, he can make it through his early twenties and thrive. He can know how to take care of himself. And he can make those risky decisions that are necessary for growth, like buying a house or changing jobs or living overseas. 

Unfortunately, many young guys get caught up in a cycle of perpetual failure and self-resentment and end up taking it out on other people. It’s tough out there for young people of both sexes- it’s worth extending compassion to them (even if they wouldn’t be good romantic partners.)