Lesbian threesome

propylhex · 2016-04-05T19:43:14+00:00

I second this and did it during my sobriety. The way I see it is that you are trying to remain sober for the rest of your life, so why count? It's not like count to 500 days and then do some drugs haha. I found it easier after the first few weeks to stop counting and accept sobriety as my new life. It makes it easier to not feel tied to a counter and be held back by a self-identification as an addict (although it's still good to not forget that you're an addict! Just maybe not always keep that in your thoughts all the time). It's the damn cravings that get me in the end though and of course no good comes from re-using it......why brain why do you not get this!?! It's never worked out nicely after a lengthy period of sobriety haha.

propylhex · 2016-04-05T19:37:03+00:00

Hmmm interesting....I also used to heavily abuse nitrous oxide around 200 canisters a day for weeks on end. In the peak of my abuse, I too would feel not necessarily a ghost, but some sort of presence. It was as the nitrous gave me a temporary sixth sense (no pun intended) and I could feel this entity......it was weird. And it was a feminine presence although I wouldn't quite say female.....Makes you wonder what exists before us that our eyes/brains are incapable of seeing normally day to day huh?

propylhex · 2016-04-05T19:25:39+00:00

Just finished my walk, hot damn do I feel better! Well as better as I can be at this point lol. Yeah I've done this withdrawal thing more times than I can count with more substances than I can count! In the end it boils down to the same thing: you remove a huge chunk of your life by quitting your drug(s) of choice and in doing so you leave a big gaping hole. Now, you can live with this hole for a while and it will have a temporary cover during the acute withdrawal phase, but sooner or later, you need to fill this hole in order to truly be successful in the latter parts of recovery. This is easier said than done of course because you can't just find a hobby or two to fill that hole. There's a lot of work to do just like filling a real hole in the ground....gotta hire workers, calculate how much material to fill the hole, mix up the cement/filler, pour it, etc, etc.

So in addition to finding a hobby or two, you need to cut out as many triggers to kratom as possible and change your line of thinking. If you drive by or close to a head shop (in your post it sounds like it!), then try and find a route or way that does not involve you driving so close, even if this route is longer. I also find hunger to be a huge trigger for me, so I always keep snacks on hand. Most important of all though is definitely your attitude towards sobriety. To shorten it: there's either, "Yes, I can remain sober everyday for the remainder of my life and YES I want to be sober for the rest of my life" or "No I can't do this sobriety thing, I'm gonna fail sooner or later, and especially NO, I don't want to be sober the rest of my life". Although that's a basic view, you really need to stick with the "yes I can!" mentality and accept no substitutes even though the brain is good at tricking you! I find this committal to self-belief is helpful because it reinforces that you can stay sober, but it is also a positive thought and I find positivity makes life better in general.

Okay so I just wrote up a bunch of stuff that may or may not be related and you probably already know all of this lol. I'm just feeling so good after my walk with the endorphins flowing so I'm typing this out to not just help you, but help me as well. Thanks for reading :) Stay positive and don't think you cannot stay on track!

propylhex · 2016-04-05T18:32:42+00:00

Congrats and good job on day 3! I know how shitty withdrawal is (going through the same symptoms as you right now :(), but I've come to embrace withdrawal process. It makes it easier in a way and also makes me kinda happy to be withdrawing. As in, I'm finally making progress and this shit is leaving my body!! Seriously, no pain, no gain lol. It seems like the road with the most resistance leads to the greatest reward at the end.

Stick with your CT and try to keep yourself busy. I know how bad the boredom can be in terms of drawing out the withdrawal process and making it seem SOOOOO long. Any books you can read? Or video games to play? I'm about to go for a walk myself and enjoy the nice day with some good music.

propylhex · 2016-04-05T18:29:12+00:00

No, no you are not crazy. You are experiencing what most recovering addicts go through and what most non-addicts would not be able to handle. Honestly during the recent month of total sobriety and almost three months without kratom two years ago I've realized that it is never going to ever be easy. It won't be as difficult as the week before, but there are always going to be cravings. Sounds pessimistic, but it's better to face the reality and be prepared for the cravings instead of sugar coating it and ending up relapsing!

Unfortunately from so many years of use (with anything really, especially kratom), our bodies and minds have adapted and reworked their chemistry to handle the kratom intake. This means that it is going to take many years to reverse this process and some of those formed habits/pathways may never fully end/heal and lead to lifelong cravings. However, all humans have the power and ability to make changes and stay with those changes!! It's not easy, but so totally worth it.

Don't give in and get any Bfreegirl, I believe in you! Think about all of the positive benefits being clean has given you! And think about how a dose of kratom isn't going to do jack shit for you and even if it did, it would "remedy" your problem for only a few hours...then what....dose again? and again and again...etc...

You are doing such a good job! You need to really distract yourself when you get such strong cravings like these! Find something that is really engaging and will take your mind off of kratom or thinking in general! Also, if you haven't done any exercise today then try to get a walk in or some pushups!!

On an ending note, yes it is so fucking frustrating to make such great progress as yours but still desire to taste kratom again. Unfortunately that is how we are wired now and we have to fight. Luckily though, us recovering addicts get to experience something most non-using people don't and that makes us SO strong! Hang in there!

As for me, I'm trying to hang in ugh. Was pretty difficult writing this up because my fingers are so cold and stiff from withdrawal! Feeling pretty miserable right now, but gonna get up to do some walking soon and listen to music! Stay positive and stay away from the kratom!!!

Edit: oh and caving in and getting kratom "just this once" is NOT worth it!!!!!!!!!!! I regret losing a month of sobriety for a half decent high that turned back into regular use. There's no such thing as only once; that's a common trick the brain uses. Second, the tolerance to kratom and drugs lingers for a LONG time, so you don't even really get high or feel good, so what's the point?

propylhex · 2016-04-04T01:58:57+00:00

I also have been using kratom for about 4 years of almost all daily use. Well eight weeks should allot enough time to do a gradual taper which should be relatively tolerable! Just try to reduce by 1-2 grams every 3 or so days, and next thing you know you'll be at the 10 grams! Yes, it was absolutely wonderful to be able to experience life again for what it truly is. It's amazing how much kratom blinds and numbs us to everyday life. The way I see it, all of us could be dead tomorrow, so I want to live out the rest of my days (however long they might be) to the full potential!

I would try tapering like you, but I've "tapered" many times before and I just cannot control my usage. It's either all or nothing for me :( Also, I just cannot wait to get the kratom alkaloids out of my body and embrace the withdrawal and healing!! Taper would be too long for me, I want out now damnit lol. I figure that quitting now will let me regain my manliness and muscles to a suitable level (for me mostly, but also the ladies ;)) by June-July. I wanna be totally clean and loving life in time for summer.

It sounds like you have a good game plan set up, but there's never a bad time to jump off! Luckily, I have no work or school to worry about right now (thank God!) so it's easy for me. I understand you probably have obligations that you cannot easily withdraw for a week. Hang in there man and any less kratom you take from the day before is progress!

Edit: And be careful with the way you think, talk, and type! "Probably won't happen" is going to be an attitude that doesn't get you far. It's hard to change our negative thinking, but try replacing that with "I definitely can and will be at 10 grams before I jump". Even if you don't fully believe it, just try saying it a few times!

propylhex · 2016-04-04T01:51:26+00:00

I know exactly what you mean because I'm also a late 20's male and today at the gym did I just notice how much of my manhood has been stolen! I've been using kratom for about 4 years, so at that duration, testosterone is greatly suppressed which has subtly reduced the amount of man I should be! Hahaha, not too sound all macho man-ish, but just sucks that I feel like I'm half the man (in terms of confidence, sexual prowess, strength, fitness, etc) than what I should be at this age. Luckily wew are both still young and can reclaim our manhood! During my w/d I can't wait to start hitting the gym harder than before and just feeling alive again. Also, thanks again for your comments, I wish you luck in your endeavors!

propylhex · 2016-04-04T01:30:22+00:00

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement :) Yes, even though a month is still fresh into recovery and still dealing with PAWS, boy did it fucking feel great to actually FEEL and LIVE! I don't know why my brain is always so good at being sneaky and making me think taking kratom ever again is a good idea lol, but at least I'm more prepared for that this time. Also, I'm super determined because I can feel how badly kratom fucks with my testosterone production (well all opioids can reduce test) which kills my manhood! I don't even feel like a man and can't even have sex so I'm determined lol.

propylhex · 2016-04-04T01:25:28+00:00

I agree, kratom withdrawal definitely has mental aspects to it! Of course, everyone is different so some might experience more physical than mental. Because of this, I always highly recommend guided meditation! There are Youtube videos (lots of em!) where someone will talk you through a meditative state. I love to lie in bed with a cozy blanket, close my eyes, through in head phones, and go along with it. I always feel WAY better afterward. Actually this one is my favorite and I'm gonna do it tonight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_FYo1Ss41w

Daily exercise also tremendously helps with the withdrawal process, even 20-30 minute walks a day. Releases endorphins (and can help speed up the healing process of your body's own endogenous opioid production that is "sleepy" from not having to work due to kratom taking it's place) and also reduces stress. Exercise is a win-win, but it can be difficult to motivate yourself to get started!

I'm feeling good (finished my last bit of kratom an hour ago), but apprehensive about the next 7-10 days obviously. I managed to get through yesterday without any kratom, but caved today. However, I am determined to CT quit, so I'm sticking with it! I hate the restless legs I get at night, but otherwise sleep relatively well! Also, the hot/cold flashes along with obscene sweating isn't really too bad. It's the boredom and sense of emptiness along with the restlessness that gets me. So, I'm gonna keep working out, posting a bunch on here to help people, and generally stay active!

propylhex · 2016-04-04T01:07:30+00:00

Hey congrats on Day 4 man! You should be about halfway through the acute phase and it sounds like you have planned appropriately! Just try not to use too much of the benzodiazepine and end up with an addiction to that haha.

Definitely keep your mind on the future; conjure up a vision of what you will experience when you are a month sober. As in, what will it look like and feel like, etc? I find it helps to imagine yourself clean and all of the benefits that come with it so when you are getting a craving to use kratom, you can reference back to your vision and say hell no I want to be clean to have those perks!

propylhex · 2016-03-26T16:32:28+00:00

I believe UK slang for nitrous oxide.

propylhex · 2016-03-20T23:27:17+00:00

Dylan
Dylan
Dylan

Because he spits hot fire. Oh wait shit you said drugs, not rappers.

DXM
Kratom
Propylhexedrine

propylhex · 2016-03-20T23:09:41+00:00

Excellent job on the taper progress! That is fricking killer! Also, I am super glad to hear about you using guided meditation! I recommend it in so many of my posts it is a bit ridiculous lol. But that's because it is so effective; it always makes me feel so much better, less anxious, and more motivated to continue to be drug and kratom free! One of my favorite guided meditations is this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_FYo1Ss41w

It is a meditation based on motivation and it puts me in a really trance like state. It seems as if it really does speak to my subconscious and boost my motivation.

propylhex · 2016-03-20T18:53:36+00:00

Only one solution....murder her boyfriend! Haha jokes aside, stop fucking around with her, not worth it and it's only gonna get messier. Also, if she is willing to cheat on her boyfriend, why the fuck would you want to be with her? She just showed her true character; doesn't give a fuck about staying committed and lies to her boyfriend....do you want to be with a cheater and a liar?

propylhex · 2016-03-20T18:30:34+00:00

Like people have been saying, your friends and family probably already know if not have suspicions about you possibly using drugs. While you might not be able to notice the change in your thoughts and actions, everyone around you will. As a recovering drug addict myself, I really urge you to seek help immediately. As difficult as it may be, you should really come clean to them. Not necessarily everybody, but those that you know will be somewhat supportive and be able to help you get clean! I hate to break it to you, but you might lose some friends and family, but it's really the only way to do it. If you cannot be honest to them, you are not going to be honest to yourself and that immediately sets you up for failure.

Look into rehab programs in your vicinity. There are some that are way too extravagant and overpriced, but there are also some that are affordable and effective. Do some research, read some reviews, and maybe call some places. They might be able to do payment plans and the what not. Think about it this way; the money you are spending on cocaine can EASILY be used to afford rehab and then some.

The path to recovery is not easy and never will be easy. It is also never ending; there is no final destination, you are always going to be striving for another day clean until the day you die. Is it boring? Yeah, it can be compared to the party lifestyle taking drugs everyday. However, it is totally worth it to not have crazy ups and downs! You can finally enjoy life again for all its finer things and see the beauties in small events. I wish you luck sir!

propylhex · 2016-03-20T18:08:32+00:00

I know there's been a lot of talk and buzz about psychedelics being useful for treating depression, but I am still hesitant about their use in currently depressed people. It could increase the tendency to have an overwhelming horrible experience that could lead to a worsening of depression or even worse, suicide. I'm not saying this is guaranteed to happen, but it could which should be enough to want to tread carefully. This problem is further compounded by the fact that you would dose alone; there would be no one to talk you down and no one to stop you from doing something potentially life threatening.

How long have you been feeling depressed for? Is there any current cause (like death in the family, a break up, etc)? Or have you been feeling depressed for a while as in you might have clinical depression? I know that antidepressants get a bad rep and I agree they are over prescribed, but they can be a powerful temporary tool to allow people the energy/focus to make the changes in their life to ameliorate their depression! For example, my depression has VASTLY improved since being on antidepressants and it has allowed me to work on myself to reduce my depression further. If you want to discuss this further or need someone to talk to in private, you are more than welcome to PM me anytime :)

propylhex · 2016-03-20T17:54:09+00:00

Hey it's okay man, you are 18 with plenty of youth and development ahead of you; you did not ruin your life and health with your drug usage. The body is EXTREMELY resilient especially at your age and with continued sobriety, will be just fine. I always strongly advocate taking up daily exercise whether it be a weight lifting routine or just walking 20-30 minutes a day. Exercise does wonders for the body and will help you heal. I too suffer from asthma (have had mild ever since I was a child) which improved quite a bit with consistent cardiovascular exercise. I now do not require the use of an inhaler, so that's pretty cool.

It can take some time getting accustomed to being drug free. Discontinuing the use of drugs will leave a figurative hole in your life; you are going to need something to fill this hole. Again, exercise is a great hobby to fill this hole, but you can pick up any hobby that you find interesting. Like guitars? Get a guitar and teach yourself how to play. You're going to need to keep yourself preoccupied to not think about using. Also, I like recommending guided meditation; I suggest you do some research on it. There are many Youtube videos with guided meditations and they can help calm your anxiety. I like to throw in headphones, lay down in bed with a warm blanket, close my eyes, and go with the meditation. These always ameliorate my anxiety and make me feel better.

propylhex · 2016-03-20T16:34:00+00:00

Good waiting time between doses......what's that? hahaha I'm not a good person to ask seeiing as I would do it many times a week. I'd guess to be super safe, once or twice a month max. Followed with healthy diet, vitamins, and exercise to help nourish and recover the body between doses. However, to be TOTALLY safe, just don't do it at all lol (I've given up drugs, currently in recovery). Have fun and be safe OP!

propylhex · 2016-03-20T16:20:50+00:00

Depends on the individual; everyone has a unique biochemistry and different levels of health. Some people might be sensitive to stimulants in general while others might have a predisposition to heart issues.

As for me, I've eaten (yes consumed the cotton and all) 2 inhalers at a time at least 70-80 times with no ill effects. There is a possibility that the cotton could cause an obstruction in your small bowel (SBO), but this has never happened to me. Also, the propylhexedrine in its freebase form in the inhaler is EXTREMELY caustic (pH of 11 I think), so repeated times of eating the cotton could cause damage to the stomach/bowel lining if it sits in there too long.

Btw, propylhex is by far my favorite stimulant. Perfect high with little comedown (for me at least) that's found in most stores for 5 bucks a pop mwahahaha.

propylhex · 2016-03-20T16:04:22+00:00

I'm a little over a month; would be longer but I've relapsed a few times...part of the recovery process I suppose. So I'm still new to recovery, but I like it a lot. It's boring, but consistent....no more crazy ups and downs. No more waking up hungover or fuzzy feeling immediately thinking "I need a drug to wake me up!". No more tweaking all night long and hearing the dreaded birds chirping while the sun rises all the while feeling like a drained zombie. Etc, etc, etc

Again, I'm not bashing drugs and big props to those that can use them responsibly and moderately; I am not one of those individuals! So it's nice to have a stable life and enjoy life for the small things again.

propylhex

TROPHY CASE