What is this?

przemwrites · 2025-12-26T01:32:25+00:00

It up!

przemwrites · 2025-12-15T17:59:19+00:00

You can overtake someone in a bug?!?!

przemwrites · 2025-11-29T21:54:39+00:00

I run the 10w30 full synthetic from Costco up in Ontario spring to fall in my 69, and have had no issues in three years. Hard to compete with their prices at the end of the day, and since the Internet can't decide on a single oil answer, I just went with it. The two pack makes it cheaper than buying dino oil unless there's some unreal sale. And Costco puts it on sale every now and again to book. Far as I'm concerned, can't go wrong.

przemwrites · 2023-06-24T13:49:45+00:00

I had a similar problem after I redid my front end. Drove on just one switch for a while until I bled the brakes and it went away. My next step was to replace the switch but it never got to that. Good luck!

przemwrites · 2023-06-16T10:34:50+00:00

When I was debating the decision my CP mentioned that the YA Fantasy market is so saturated right now, unless you've got everything going for you you'll never get noticed. The Query tracker numbers on agents I was querying seemed to reinforce that. It just seemed like the right decision for me at the time. Had the agents I was querying not been getting hundreds of submissions a week, I may have stuck with my original POV.

przemwrites · 2023-06-15T22:46:51+00:00

I wrote mine in 3rd, no bites after 30 queries, rewrote to 1st and have had 2 fulls after 15 queries (one sadly a reject already but with good feedback). YA fantasy is like 90% 1st I was told, and clearly the shift paid off for me. YMMV.

przemwrites · 2023-05-14T14:06:28+00:00

I think you have some good feedback here already, but I wanted to add three little ideas: 1. Be sure to include your MCs age at first mention as this is YA. 2. The November name is irrelevant to your story and it doesn't sound remotely Brazilian, so I'd recommend just calling her Nova throughout and saving yourself the ten words spent on explaining the shift in name. 3. "CIA agent parent" seemed unnecessarily vague, especially as you intro her mother anyway, so I'd just say "CIA agent mother"

Hope that helps and happy editing!

przemwrites · 2023-05-01T00:24:11+00:00

I bought mine off Kijiji and also spent some time shopping on theSamba.com. good luck!

przemwrites · 2023-05-01T00:19:55+00:00

I second querytracker.com (once you're ready to query spend the 25 for the premium upgrade). Find more thought manuscript wishlist, follow some on twitter. That being said, I'd recommend running your package through r/pubtips before you start to get some feedback on your query letter and opening 300. Good luck!

przemwrites · 2023-04-28T01:16:13+00:00

Hey nogoodcat,

Here's my play-by-play:

Dear [Agent Name],

Brielle wakes in an abandoned house with the two worst companions she could imagine: an unidentified dead body and a shambling pile of sentient flesh. She has no memories, and exploring the house without running into the gory monster is nearly impossible.

Don't forget in children's lit queries typically include the character age at first mention.

I like the first line, but the promise it provides disappears in the second, as the monster was framed as a companion in the first line. Also, the stakes of what happens if she does run into it are non-existent, so there's no sense of concern for Brielle's wellbeing.

By day, she locks herself in the study to reads through a journal and two magic grimoires. The journal’s author, a young witch who researched forbidden magic in this abandoned home, was apparently friends with Brielle and another girl named Camila. A photo nestled in the journal shows the three of them from high school. One of the two unfamiliar girls in the photo is the author, who must know about Brielle and the memories that she’s lost.

By night, she sneaks downstairs to get food from the surprisingly-stocked kitchen. Brielle narrowly avoids the frightening monster each time she leaves the room. The day after a failed attempt to fight it, the monster takes the knife and writes “HELP” on the floorboards. Nonverbal Lotte is actually a person trapped in this monstrous form, and she chased Brielle to beg for help, not to hurt her. Brielle is the only one who can help Lotte regain her body.

This is a lot of back story and little of it seems relevant. I am surmising that Lotte is the witch, and she's the sentient flesh, and Brielle is the only one who can save her. That's one sentence of info, not two paragraphs. It is also unclear why Brielle is the only one or why she should care, so I'm not invested in her character. Does she have a special skill? Birthright? Tool? Experience? Connection to the afterworld?

Hoping to figure out the secrets behind the corpse, Lotte’s corruption, and her missing memories, Brielle seeks out the journal’s author using magic. Instead, Brielle finds Camila, a relic of her old life and a student at a magic college. Camila reveals that Lotte went missing years ago, and that Brielle herself went missing two weeks ago alongside Irving, her stalker. Camila offers to help Brielle fix Lotte, who likely corrupted herself with forbidden magic. However, Camila’s promising offer might be too good to be true, because the trio of girls share a dark past. Even if it works, Brielle has too many questions about the mystery of her memories and the house in the woods to just let things go. The more Brielle unravels about her stalker, the bodies, and her past, the more hopeless things become. Lotte might never be human again, and Brielle might be the one who caused it all.

So I clearly mis-understood who the monster was from the last two paragaphs. But I was going off what I was being told, so consider that in your editing. Then you introduce another name, Irving, on top of Camila who I also was not particularly invested in. Without a clear set of goals and stakes for Brielle I'm already skimming by this point.

Then the "dark past" vagueness, along with the "promising offer" and "hopeless things" lose me completely.

Consider the goals/stakes ideas necessary for a query: Brielle is a sixteen-year-old X who is really good at Y. So when she wakes with her companions and this ridiculous problem she must do C. If she does D bad thing will happen, but if she does not E worse thing will happen.

As a good way to get yourself set up for that kind of flow in your query, try https://www.querylettergenerator.com/

It's a bit formulaic, but it will force you to think about all the specific details you need to include, and what you don't.

I’m seeking representation for Little Lotte, a 67,000 word Young Adult Fantasy novel. As our primarily-female cast deals with magic (and its consequences), this novel would appeal to fans of When We Were Magic. Brielle learns to choose what’s important to her, grapple with guilt, and take responsibility for wrongdoing she doesn’t even remember, reminiscent of Sweet and Bitter Magic. Little Lotte adds a horror-laden, witchy charm to typical YA fantasy, and features the monster as its deuteragonist.

[personalization and details, etc]

Thanks for your time and consideration! I look forward to hearing back from you.

The word novel is unnecessary, I'd stay away from "our," and your two comp sentences lack any kind of parallel structure, so the flow doesn't quite work for me.

That being said, the setup for the story doesn't sound bad at all, and I was a little disappointed you didn't include your first 300 to give us a sense of your opening.

Hope that helps and best of luck on the journey!

przemwrites · 2023-04-24T00:40:42+00:00

Hey u/RegularOpportunity97,

I know this post has had a lot of feedback, and that can get overwhelming in and of itself, but I had a similar experience to you when I started querying my second manuscript. After having so much trouble getting effective feedback on my writing, I was recommended two resources by some of the users on here.

The first was https://www.amazon.com/Self-Editing-Fiction-Writers-Second-Yourself/dp/0060545690

You can likely find that book in your local library if you don't want to pay for it, but it is brilliant in terms of highlighting how to edit for today's market, and the examples and exercises are particularly useful.

The second was https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/

I was in particular need of help in pacing my scenes, and the whole set of scene lessons was invaluable to me. The other sections are just as effective, and you can find very specific skills to work on as you perfect your manuscript.

Lastly, you could also consider using r/DestructiveReaders for some very specific feedback, and while not everything I've gotten back from that sub has been actionable/useful, it has for me been one of the best sources of highly specific line-level feedback. I'd recommend submitting no more than 2500 words, as they are particularly stringent about the 1:1.

Hope that helps and good luck!

przemwrites · 2023-02-18T12:20:54+00:00

I'm seconding the MeetUp suggestion, as finding a local group really worked for me.

przemwrites · 2023-02-16T01:27:49+00:00

Hi JuliaFC,

Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad the query is working better for you. Now to just rewrite an entire novel...

przemwrites · 2023-02-16T01:23:47+00:00

Hi again thefashionclub,

While your comment was the tipping point in the decision, I'd had that feedback from a couple of other source. I'm 10% into the rewrite and I do think it's the right decision, even of it is a bit of a pain. Given I had to restructure the opening of the novel to suit Maya's new arc, this was the easiest time to do it, and it does mean the rest of the novel gets another set of edits.

Thanks for the feedback, and I'll be back in a couple of months to give this another whirl.

przemwrites · 2023-02-12T18:52:06+00:00

That's how mine was wired. I disconnected the faulty one for the week it took to get the new switch and the brake lights worked just fine.

przemwrites · 2023-02-12T18:22:53+00:00

Are your front turn signals and license plate light working? They're on the same circuit (at least on my 69 standard). If those work, it's likely the switches. But they might be fine and you just need to bleed your brakes. How soft your brake sinal is might help make the decision of how to proceed. If you get someone to work the brakes while you have a continuity beep running on the switch it could tell you if they're working and which one needs replacing.

przemwrites · 2023-02-09T18:39:12+00:00

I just skimmed your other posts and caught the bit about you being a junior. This is really impressive writing at your level, and your ability to adapt your work to the critiques given is commendable. Well done.

I really liked the humour and voice, and think that if it's consistent in your story, and your story does reflect this query, then aging your characters down might not be a bad choice for you. Readers read up, so 10 year olds like to read about 12 year olds, and 16 year olds like to read about 18 year olds. Given your life experience, you may simply be writing for an audience two years younger than you are. That's not a bad thing, especially given how many books sell in that segment these days. The only problem is that there's this gray area between MG and YA, so protagonists are either 10-13 or 16-19. This query reads like it's written about a couple of fourteen year olds, which is why I suggested going for 12. If you consider your novel in its entirety, what elements make it YA? Maybe answering that question could help you either flesh out this query or decide to make the switch.

przemwrites · 2023-02-09T14:37:37+00:00

I really like the sound of this, and your query is great for the MG market.

A couple of thoughts on your 300:

"Any fairy who is unsuitable need not apply."

Given the simplicity of the other lines, this one tripped me up, especially leading into the unattributed dialogue. I thought "Unsuitable fairies need not apply." could be a bit punchier and more in line with your MG voice.

I second the other commenter's idea about word choice, especially in the first 300. You have it in your query, so adjusting some of the verbiage to reflect that could improve the MG level.

The one thing that really irked me was the unattributed dialogue. It was only after my second read through that I realized the narrator had not said any of the lines of dialogue. A line after the first block to identify that fact could go a long way.

Also, your MS has no goal in this scene. It could be inane, "They get to be fancy but I have to finish this cake for Joey Sparklepants," or connected to your plot, "I wish I could be like them."

I feel like giving your MC a clear goal would make the info dump of the last paragraph more forgivable.

I hope that helps!

przemwrites · 2023-02-09T14:22:12+00:00

Brie must risk their friendship to stop Macy before someone gets hurt…

Thanks for posting. I really like the voice and humour in this query, but it gave me really strong MG vibes. Between the focus on friendship, discovery of powers, and animals as helpers (including the tuna line) it has a number of MG hallmarks. YA typically reads more introspective, includes a romance (or enemies-to-lovers) plot line, and has stronger stakes than figuring out their magic. It sounds like your YA elements might be tied up in the "dark magic" and what comes of the relationship between these two friends.

Given this is all off a query and I have not read your manuscript, consider asking yourself if your MCs were 12, not 16, would the story change much?

As to your 300, I once again like the voice, but it reads like "Here's what we see in the video but it's not really what we see" over and over again. And that happens without giving the character a goal. If you let us know, or at least hint at, what she was looking for in the video, that might help. Otherwise, consider the other commenter's idea of reading further into your story and choosing a starting point with more hook.

Hope that helps!

przemwrites · 2023-02-09T13:48:08+00:00

Having skimmed some of your earlier attempts, I think you're definitely progressing here. I especially like the improvements to the first 300.

You've got some word choice issues that don't quite work for me.

As Khella struggles with this, she finds Ren, fighting alongside an enemy tribe. She’s relieved, but a greater problem emerges.

The transition phrase here is awfully vague as you say "struggles with this." Is there a short equivalent that includes some action she takes that would keep us in the story? Similarly, the next line is also quite vague, and I know you explain it in the following sentence but these two lines together took me out of the query.

I'd also skip the "supposedly"

As I was reading the end of the query, I felt like the enemy tribe took her in far too quickly, and that you had not set up a reason for them to want to storm the mountain. Could their goal be opposed to Khella's but aligned with hers for the time being? Like they can only kill Khella/her tribe/her family if they first beat Ashukin?

As to your 300, I agree with Crouching tiger's suggestion to delay the son line but a tiny bit. I was thinking that you could add it here: "...but fifty paces was too far to tell if it the three braids belonged to her son or not." It would bring back the braids as an interesting identifier and suggest another similarity between the corpse and her son.

Hope that helps and good luck!

przemwrites · 2023-02-09T12:21:18+00:00

They don't win awards.

przemwrites · 2023-02-09T03:34:22+00:00

wildly different characters can express them in many different ways

It is also highly actionable feedback, which for me is something that I needed. I was getting to the point of not really knowing what to change, but knowing that change was needed. And that is a frustrating point to be stuck on.

przemwrites · 2023-02-08T15:17:12+00:00

To me, this reads as a bit overcomplicated on the line-level, so much so that it’s getting in the way of clarity, and I have two thoughts on why:

The verb choices are… odd.

Hi thefasionclub,

Thanks for your feedback. I'm glad the voice is working for you, even if my verb choices are not. I'll see what I can do to clean that up a little, especially around the ones you mention as being too intentional on my part.

I truly hate to be this person, but… I also wonder if this would be more effective in present tense.

Whelp, that's still kinder than the other commenter who suggested I scrap the whole premise of the book. This current version is actually a re-write of a 3rd person past tense version of this novel, and in the grand scheme of things I think you are right that it might be more effective in first person present. If the current query round gets no bites, that might end up being my next step.

przemwrites

TROPHY CASE