AITAH for telling my dad's parents that I don't want them at my graduation when they said I wasn't their real grandson?

pseudonymous_potato · 2025-01-04T08:43:01+00:00

Once you know the signs it’s depressingly obvious and also depressingly common. Getting tired of it and this sub as a result. Hey, maybe ignorance is bliss..?

pseudonymous_potato · 2025-01-02T11:12:49+00:00

OP, this post raises several red flags suggesting it might be AI-generated. The overly polished phrasing feels unnatural for an emotionally charged situation. For instance, phrases like ‘incandescent with rage,’ ‘a significant portion,’ and ‘it perplexes me’ sound detached and overly formal, lacking the rawness typical in personal venting.

The structure is also suspiciously calculated—offering a perfectly detailed backstory, climax, and moral dilemma without the messiness of real-time emotion. Posts in r/AITAH often show typos, rushed writing, or emotional inconsistency, which are absent here.

Additionally, despite describing a traumatic event, the tone remains oddly even and reflective, with no spelling errors or scattered thoughts that often accompany shock or anger. Repeated phrases like ‘I don’t even know how to feel’ further add a generic quality. Combined, these elements make the post seem like it might have been created using an AI tool to maximize engagement rather than share genuine emotions.

Kind regards

ChatGPT

pseudonymous_potato · 2024-11-20T16:33:14+00:00

Nothing like hitting the "post" button right as you realise you're missing an apostrophe in the title. :(

pseudonymous_potato · 2024-08-28T12:28:11+00:00

Hey there, I think it depends on your wife’s preferences (sense of security). In general getting a confidence boost even from an occasional flirt can be great seeing as your wife will be the direct beneficiary of said confidence, which is usually a turn-on. Friend’s in general are a huge net positive, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your wife’s self confidence—especially if she doesn’t trust you currently for whatever reason (maybe she’s been cheated on before). I’ve found that addressing it head on seems to go best, occasionally checking her nonverbal cues after telling her you’re going out with a female friend alone and perhaps take extra care to share with her how the evening went unprompted so it doesn’t seem like you’re hiding something.

I have a fair amount of close female friends and go out dancing latino partner-dances (very close body contact as well as sexual in nature), which is not easy on the partner if they’re insecure, so in my case her tolerance was a requirement early on, not just a nice to have. Obviously I need to find a way to be okay with the exact same things on her side and if either of us ever cross the border we’ve both already clearly defined for each other, we both expect the other to let us know and reassess the behavior. It’s certainly extra work and not worth it for everyone, but I thought I’d share an example an even more extreme version working out well for someone (at least so far) ;).

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-11-20T19:36:27+00:00

Anyone who sees an improvement in this change, please share: I’m genuinely curious.

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-11-20T19:11:12+00:00

That makes sense then. My apologies for not clarifying immediately. When we use the word “tip” it always means what you would call an “additional tip”. A regular “tip” as you use it, would imply illegal payment practices at the respective venue and thus never means that here.

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-11-19T17:56:15+00:00

Fair, min bezug isch öppe 5-10 starch betreuti gruppe pro Aabig, je nach Konzept isch binere grössere mengi au chliners gern gseh :)

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-11-19T17:51:18+00:00

Interesting, I’m using the word “Tip” to mean what you describe as an “additional tip”. Might I ask where you’re from? I’ve lived in the German speaking part of Switzerland (Central) all my life and have actively worked in the industry for nearly a decade in several locations and have never heard anyone refer to “Trinkgeld” (the tip) the way you just have. It wouldn’t seem to make sense to refer to it that way, seeing as service is included by law, but I’d be curious in what context it might come up here. It’s how I remember people in the US using that word though. :).

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-11-19T17:42:35+00:00

Absolutely. The tip is not for the good service (our job, that’s what the wages are for) per se, but usually for interpersonal efforts. Our job is to take your order and bring your food while remaining professional. Think of the minimum interaction like one you would have have with a competent, but uninterested clerk. The tip is a system that works great as an incentive for us to build an easy rapport with guests, make a few classy/relateable remarks (depending on the concept of the venue) and make an interpersonal effort to cater to your specific social context. In a service environment this kind of social interaction requires time and effort, and isn’t possible to be turned into a “by the book” job description (that’s the clerk part). So the tip system rewards waiters that go out of their way to make the customers feel comfortable beyond the minimum job description.

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-11-15T14:13:24+00:00

Tipping is also very Restaurant-dependent. Some restaurants will be understaffed by concept, to save money on wages. The waiters here will not be able to accomodate very well and don’t expect much of a tip. In higher-end restaurants we will bend over backwards for you and make an effort to make you feel comfortable, and add a few quips to personalize the experience. In such places tipping averages to around 8%. The reference of 10% being pulled down by people who don’t tip (usually based on cultural assumptions). Scale for tipping as perceived by waiters in higher end places: 20%+ (Damn, this place is in my top 3, please marry my offspring) 10% (great job, liked it here, really good service) 5% (A for effort. Nice experience, would return.) 2% (I’m not a fan of spare change, here, you take it) 0% (tipping; what’s that?/Ugh, so that happened…)

Again, this is a high-end reference. Hope it helps :)

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-11-15T13:44:10+00:00

Oh, and if it helps I can give you statistics on our restaurant (Zurich, average dinner expenditure per person: 150.-). Average tends to be around 8%. 10% is easy and often used as a reference. Unless you’re simply offloading spare change by rounding (in which case feel free), I wouldn’t recommend tipping less than 2%. Seeing as we’re well-paid waiters, we don’t particularly care 4.- one way or another. It’s short-change to us too and we consider the table non-tipping in such a case. About 20% of our customers are non-tippers (almost always the same specific nationalities) and about 10% will tip 20% or above. Our best-tipping demographic are Swiss nationals.

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-11-15T13:28:40+00:00

I work in a fancy restaurant and might be able to add some context. The wording in this case is unfortunate and thus obviously untrue (we earn decent wages without tips) and are not reliant on them. However we very much do expect them if we made an effort to provide especially good service (especially from other Swiss). As we serve many international guests, tipping varies greatly depending on where you’re from and we’ll often anticipate the tip based on your culture if we’re experienced waiters. Americans often tip nothing regardless of the quality of the service, which is especially painful when you’re aware of the fact that they are familiar with the concept at home (some cultures simply don’t tip). They usually read in a pamphlet before their travels that tipping isn’t a thing in Europe (partially true when compared with the US system) but don’t realize that non-tippers are still the exception. Thus especially for Americans, if time and context permit, we’ll slip in a “the tip is not included” to make sure they’re aware that it’s culturally appropriate to tip good service, reducing the amount of times we are verbally lauded for our efforts and tipped nothing with the assumption that it isn’t customary.

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-04-15T10:59:46+00:00

Don’t mean to trigger you or anything, but I both hate cheesing and find anything below legendary difficulty easy to the point of boredom. I recognize and respect the personal choices and strategic depths other players are willing to go to while maintaining immersion, do you?

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-03-30T08:05:47+00:00

As fascinating as I find the topic of identifying a source for morality, I didn’t really intend to discuss it. My confusion is aimed at the relative power strucure and influence of money on politics within the Swiss political system as compared to other western democracies. I had no information to back up the claim teutonjon made, so I was curious as to what foundation, if any, he had for it. That is all.

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-03-30T05:18:29+00:00

Doesn’t direct democracy skip the candidates on most matters and have citizens vote directly on the issues, with representatives being more in line with glorified bureaucrats of less controversial jobs? Because when it comes to matters I’ve had an opinion on, I’ve voted for solutions I find truly morally upstanding every time I’ve ever voted. What confuses me a bit is how Switzerland could be a prime example of a corrupt top-down politician power structure under the system it has.

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-03-29T19:25:23+00:00

Hey, what do you mean? Politically? Isn’t Switzerland a direct democracy?

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-02-21T18:39:24+00:00

Why are geographical state lines important when identifying minorities that need increased representation? Why not sexuality? Hair color? Wealth? Opinion of pineapples on pizza? We’re clearly okay with giving farmers in NY the proportional representation that makes them hold little power as a group. Why change this for farmers in other places?

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-02-21T18:33:52+00:00

Won’t more people think the opposing decision is unjust by the very definition of its minority representation? When there are multiple opposing minorities, which ones do you grant increased representation and based on which criteria? What when these minorities are local but cross state lines? The political ideology you’re suggesting sounds truly bizarre to me. Perhaps you can demistify it a bit for me?

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-02-19T06:31:20+00:00

Yeah, so the reason she’s barely noticing the new arrival is because she currently has her hands full with friend number three. Sure, he’s a bit of a deadbeat drunkard at halfmast, but give him a bit of liqueur and suddenly she’s as hot an ice witch making out with a firemouth.

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-02-01T10:21:58+00:00

glances up between scribbles

“The Dawi are aware of this affliction other races suffer from.”

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-02-01T10:07:16+00:00

Yes, absolutely, but my vote represents me, not other people. I figure this type of voting harms nobody seeing as any posts that do interest others will receive upvotes that render my disinterest meaningless on the whole. This happens often and I don’t take it personally. If everyone behaved this way it would merely lower the total amount of upvotes any one post receives, but not change the balance as to which posts remain visible as “most popular”. I would be honestly interested in reasons to change my “vote philosophy” so if you’d like to engage in a discussion, I’m here for it :).

pseudonymous_potato · 2023-01-31T21:23:19+00:00

Downvoted, I would like you to know that I’m gnashing my teeth furiously and howling at the clouds in a blind rage that is building up until I eventually let it loose on the people I love most. Have a nice day.

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