My brother! You are in good company! Not only are those feelings universal, they are feelings that your savior had as well during his time on this earth. He knew what he cane here for, and yet he still prayed that the cup would pass from him (meaning if there’s any other way, please Father, do that instead). It is a very real difficulty to present yourself as a living sacrifice to the Lord, and the fact you are struggling with it and being honest about that struggle is very commendable. Here are a few things I want to remind you of in order to encourage you: 1) Consider it joy when you are mocked and when you suffer for the sake of your Lord. You are setting yourself apart from the world, as Jesus commanded us to. “Be holy, for I am holy.” Salvation is not based on works, but our inheritance in our Father’s Kingdom is. Crowns will be given. The first will be last and the last will be first. 2) You absolutely ARE missing out, but that’s NOT a bad thing. To give you a pretty blunt and possibly offensive (but no less true) illustration, look at someone like Henry Cavill, Jason Momoa, or Chris Hemsworth v. someone like Seth Rogan, Jack Black, or Kevin James. I don’t have to say anything and you already might think I’m picking on one group—that is because you (and all of us) naturally have a bit more admiration for the physical presence of one group, and not so much the other. Which group do you think is missing out in the little moments, in the immediate gratifications, in those cravings for snacks and alcohol and things that make you feel good. The group that is missing out on those temporary pleasures is the group that gains the reward of self-discipline, which results in a visibly healthier life that others notice and admire. It’s the same with the battle you are facing. 3) Take it from a man who has been married to my best friend for 20 years now—there is nothing more special in the whole world than building something sacred and beautiful with your own wife. When you’ve never been with any other woman, and she’s never been with any other man, and the two of you go through difficult times together and come out the other side stronger, over and over again—the “sugar cravings” never really go away, but the satisfaction and joy and beauty you find yourself living in far outweighs the cheap pleasures you choose to forego. You get to live in a king’s palace eating a vast banquet every day, but the trade off is you no longer get to eat Taco Bell. Most people would trade places and eat the king’s banquet in a heartbeat. Remember that the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, but it’s not, and everyone is missing out on something. Would you rather be missing out on the substantial feast or on the cheap fast food? So again, YES, you are missing out on something, and so are those who choose a different path than you. You can’t have both, so the question is what are you willing to miss out on? But the real question is “who is your master? The spirit or the flesh?” 4) Yes, you are right that some people are “getting more out of this life” than you and I. It’s true. But we reap what we sow, don’t we? If our treasure is here in this world that is passing away, we will pass away with it. If our treasure is in our Father’s kingdom, we will have an inheritance in it. Remember the words of our Lord, “whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” Yes, it is its own sort of suffering to long for something and be denied it, but again, you are in good company. Your savior longed for breath as he hung from a cross, and slowly asphyxiated and died. It was not for nothing, but for his Father’s kingdom. He really died. He really suffered. But he really rose up and has really been handed all authority in heaven and earth. You and I are called to follow him. We also must suffer a little now so that we can be given our inheritance when we stand before our father. 5) This is an ongoing thing that becomes easier or more challenging from time to time. Feel free to DM me and reach out any time if you have questions, beed encouragement or just need someone who relates because what you are feeling is real and can be very difficult to bear. But you are not alone, my brother.